#1. Silent Night Deadly Night.
Remember 1984? Well even George Orwell couldn’t have predicted entertainment that was this bad.
Silent Night Deadly Night was the 1984 lack luster story of Billy Chapman. Billy was was traumatized at an early age by the sight of watching a crazed man in a Santa Clause suit kill his parents. He believes that this happened because they were “naughty”. He gets sent to an orphanage where he is abused by a very mean mother superior in various ways and told that punishment is good for him and that people need to be punished.
Years later, he is asked to put on a Santa suit by his co workers that causes him to have an instant flashback of all his horrible memories. This sends Billy on a rampage of Punishment
The Best Line and Scene in Silent Night Deadly Night
It has to be “Garbage Day!”
2. The Gingerdead Man
The GingerDead Man Begins in Waco Texas (yes Waco, no Wacko), and opens with a Crazed Gunman (played by Gary Busy) shooting up a local diner, killing everyone except a girl and her mother. Mr Busy get sentenced to fry in the electric chair due to the testimony of the survivors.
His body gets cremated and the ashed are sent to his mother who happens to be a witch. She mixes them together with some gingerbread spice mix bringing her son back to life in the form a a freshly back gingerbread man.
Best Scene in Gingerdead Man
Probably where the gingerbread man drives over the dude with his car.
Best line in Gingerdead Man: ” Got Milk?”
Released in 1981, Inseminoid begins with a group of archeologist on a “Planet X” exploring the remnants of an ancient alien civilization.
Inseminoid is the name of the last surviving alien of the planets previous inhabitants. It gains its name from its behavior which is attacking women and inseminating them to be reborn as a hybrid species. In exchange, the woman becomes psychotic with the preternatural strength of an alien mother protecting her unborn hybrid twin offspring. Although not quite a serial killer, inseminoid can create death scenes that rival the Jasons and chuckys alike.
Best Scene in Inseminoid
Well, other than the scene where explosions cause a door to blow up in the opposite direction, there is a scene where one of the crew members gets her foot caught in the door, and to open it she needs to attach two wires together. Not being technologically adept, she decides to cut her leg off with a saw instead?
Here’s a quick snippet before you trade 93 minutes of your life away: Inseminoid Trailer
#4. Rabid Grannies
Well believe it or not, the title here may be a misnomer. The Rabid Grannies are actually aunties, although there are supposedly 93 years old. The Plot begins on their birthday where they have the whole family over for a massive dinner celebration. Everyone is excited because they believe these rich grannies will die soon leaving the rest of the family millions of dollars in cash.
Unfortunately the grannies probably got rich from making a deal with Satan, and as such, they plan on living a long time. To do so, they apparently need to eat people, and they have a fun time tracking down each family member one at a time.
Where Grannie #2 possesses Roger’s dead body and runs over Jessica, although when one of the grannies dresses up in a suit of armor it is quite comical as well.
Heres a peak at the trailer: Rabid Grannies
#5. Jack Frost
Remember in Halloween how Michael Myers escaped from the mental asylum and went on a killing spree? Now lets just pretend that during his escape his car hit some black ice and caused him to smash into a truck carrying toxic waste. Now lets pretend that his dying body fused together with the toxic waste and snow he was lying in transferring his insanity into the snow. Now call him Jack.
This is essentially the plot of Jack Frost, the killer Snowman.
After the accident, Jack the psycho is able to throw snowballs, make people slip to their death, or even stab people in the eye with an icicle! This last one works the best since it leaves no evidence behind after the icicle melts, causing everyone to think its just another oddball accident that happens in every small town. Of course superstitions lead the town to go a little crazy after the 3rd and 4th mysterious killing.
This leads the town sheriff on a quest to solve the case of the strange deaths plaguing the town. Little does he know however, that the snowman psycho’s MO is to find the evil sheriff responsible for sending him to prison, and of course kill him in some sort of satisfactory way.
Although Jack Frost may be one of the lamest serial killers out there, it definitely has its funny moments.
The Best Scene in Jack Frost?
Probably the shower scene the killer snowman takes with the leading lady.
The Best Line in the Movie?
When Jack gets hit by a car he yells out “I can see your house from up here”
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