Author Archive

Jason Scott

"They will Rue the Day They Gave Me Free Reign Over this Blog" Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! (insert evil into laughter)

Crazy Ass Pyscho Clowns You Don’t Want Under Your Bed

Written by Jason Scott. Posted in Daily Daft

Scary_clown

Photo Compliments of Wikipedia

Coulrophobia, or “The Fear of Clowns” is much more common than most people realize.  At Daft Gadgets we have no idea why anyone would ever think a clown would be liked by children or anybody else.

According to a study conducted by the University of Sheffield, children find clown décor unsettling in hospital settings. Dr. Penny Curtis, a researcher was quoted as saying: “As adults we make assumptions about what works for children. We found that clowns are universally disliked by children. Some found them quite frightening and unknowable.”

Now at Daft Gadgets, we share a common Coulrophobic moment with a lot of others out there thanks to a movie called “Poltergeist.”

As such, we decided to put together a list of some of the most psychotic and evil clowns around.

The most obvious evil clown being……

The Poltergeist Clown

Searching the internet for relief from our paranoid thoughts of clown killers under our bed, we came across many other sites and bloggers who have shared there experiences of evil clowns.

The photo above is compliments of thepoisonforest.com who are unfortunate enough to share in our moment of childhood horror that occurred when the happy poltergeist clown turned evil and dragged the young boy under the bed.

Because the Poltergeist Clown affected so many people, we felt the need to mention it first as a way of speaking out to let you all know that you are not alone.

We found the best way to cure the fear of a clown under your bed is to actually get a stuffed clown and put it under your bed while you sleep.

Unfortunately, this also makes you a prime target for a practical joke, so its best to keep it quite. If you can’t find a clown, you can always try putting make up on an inflatable woman, which is a much more common thing to find under someone else’s bed and will not arouse suspicion.

The Fear Clown from Voyager

photo compliments of memory-alpha.org

photo compliments of memory-alpha.org

Who Could forget the evil clown from Star Trek Voyager?

What made this clown unique was that he was actually an incarnate of fear itself. The Voyager clown represented the manifestations of fear found within the minds of the characters trapped within a virtual reality artificial hibernation machine. Once his artificial intelligence became self aware, the clown attempted to maintain his survival by preventing anyone from leaving the virtual reality.

In this ironic twist, the fear of death of the participants within stasis ended preventing them from returning to life, and unfortunately, forced them to choose between facing a fear of death or a life of hell.

Killer Clowns From Outer Space

Killer Clowns from outer space was a B movie from the 1980s.

The plot revolves around an army of alien clowns who land their circus tent shaped spaceship on earth with the intentions of eating the inhabitants of a small town.

The clowns use different weapons to capture the townspeople including:

  • killer shadow puppets,
  • balloon animals,
  • cotton candy cocoons, and
  • a ray gun that mimics a play toy.

Since these methods come across as “daft” in appearance, nobody seems to take notice. If you ever run into one of these clowns, the trick is to shoot them in the nose.

Ubu Roi (King Ubu)

UBU Roi is a play by Alfred Jarry that premiered way back in good old 1896. The central character is a clown by the name of Ubu, who is notorious for his child like engagement with his imaginary world.

Ubu inhabits a domain of greedy self-gratification and is the epitome of what Jarry saw to be the modern man. Ubu is fat, ugly, vulgar, gluttonous, grandiose, dishonest, stupid, jejune, voracious, cruel, cowardly and evil.

There is nothing likeable about this clown, which is probably why there has never been a Hollywood remake.

Pennywise

Pennywise the dancing clown is known for luring children to their death.  As funny as that may seem, Pennywise is actually quite evil and sadistic.

He appears in clown form most of the time, but he has the ability to transmogrify into exactly what his victim fears most. This puts him on the toughness level of Darkseid, one of superman’s greatest foes.

Photo Compliments of Wikipedia

Photo Compliments of Wikipedia

Captain Spaulding (House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil’s Rejects)

Captain Spaulding deserves mention as one of the weirdest and creepiest clowns around. Described as a crusty looking old man in a filthy clown suit and smeared make-up, Captain Spaulding is the patriarch of the Firefly family of Devils rejects, who are essentially a family of insane murderous lunatics.

Pulcinella

Dressed in white and wearing black and white mask depicting duality, Pulcinella (often called “Punch”) is known as a mean SOB. His sadistic viciousness is only superseded by his cleverness.

To defend himself he pretends to be too stupid to understand what’s going on around him and if that doesn’t work he beats people physically.

He deserves mention mostly due to for his reputation of being the progenitor for which all evil puppets would later be based.

In Germany he became the puppet Kasper, in the Netherlands, Jan Klassen, in Denmark, Mester Jakel, in Romania Vasilache, in Hungary Vitez Laszlo, and in France he is known as Polichinelle.

All of these puppets share the story of a deformed and nefarious psychopath that typically ends up bludgeoning a bunch of people to death. His deformities may also suggests he may be embittered due to his suffering from Acromegaly syndrome.

Well ahead of his time, Pulcinella could be seen as the precursor of today’s modern slasher flicks, as well as being the first truly evil clown in show business.

“Well these are all just stories, in reality there’s no reason to fear clowns right? “

Uhhh….right. Just don’t look up “Pogo the Clown” and your Coulrophobia should stay cured.

Of course you can always pick up a light saber night light from the Daft Gadgets Shop if you’re really worried.

9 Camouflaged Species Found in Nature’s Army

Written by Jason Scott. Posted in Daily Daft, Funny But True

1.Ambush bugs

Not to be confused with the fictional character from DC comics seen below, ambush bugs stem from nature’s group of assassin bugs.  Known as masters of camouflage,  ambush bugs blend in to their surroundings so well, its as if they attack out of thin air.

Armed with mantis like forelegs, ambush bugs routinely capture prey ten or more times their own size.

Ambush Bug from Action Comics

Ambush Bug from Action Comics

2. The Scops Owl

Trust us, its in there if you look close enough.

Scops owls hunt from the darkened decrepit hallows of old trees. Their favorite meals are insects, reptiles, small mammals (like bats or mice) and other small birds.

The owls will also eat earthworms, frogs and aquatic invertebrates

3.Dead Leaf Butterfly

Although no match for a human with a rake, the dead leaf butterfly can easily fool your typical bird brained….uh….bird.

4. Three Toed Sloths

The sloth’s color and its sluggish habits make it hard to spot. Generally it hangs quietly from trees resembling a bundle of leaves.

Their huge claws are used more for sleeping in trees than any type of weapon (they sleep 15-18 hours per day)

On a Daft Note, female sloth mating calls are said to sound like a human woman screaming “Ay Ay!”

5.Fennec fox

The sandy coat of the Fennec Fox helps it hide from its arch nemesis “The Eagle Owl” while also reflecting the heat from the harsh Sahara desert sun.

(Yes an eagle owl can swoop down and steal your Chihuahua as well.)

6.Hooded Grasshopper

This is a Hooded Grasshopper is found in India, although it is rarely seen due to its excellent camouflage.

7.Orchid Mantis

The sneaky mantis lies in wait for a small lizard or bumble bee.

8. Peppered Moths

Caterpiller 1:Hopefully no one will twig to our presence.BR Cateriller 2: Shut up, Twigs cant talk!

Caterpiller 1:"Hopefully no one will twig to our presence." Cateriller 2: "Shut up, Twigs can't talk!"

The caterpillar of the peppered moth is a twig mimic.

9. Tawny Frogmouth

Unlike owls, most frogmouths don’t usually eat small mammals (Although they do make exceptions now and again for the occasional after dinner amphibian.)

They do hide in much the same way as the scops owl and are also much harder to spot  when their eyes are shut.

Now you know for sure that its not the Government, CIA, or Aliens who are watching you, but Mother Nature’s Army.   If you want to fight back, Daft Gadgets only has one weapon  certified to be used on animals, and that’s the Airzooka!

5 Vacations From Your Insane Mind

Written by Jason Scott. Posted in Daily Daft, Funny But True

#1 Fear of Loathing in Las Vegas: A savage journey to the Heart of the American Dream.

Raoul Duke: “We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half-full of cocaine and a whole galaxy of multicolored uppers, downers, screamers laughers….Also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls [….] But the only thing that worried me was the ether. There is nothing in this world more helpless and irresponsible than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we’d get into that rotten stuff pretty soon. …. “

Who is the nutcase who made this thing?

Hunter S Thompson. Its loosely based on a trip he took

Who’s in it?

Johnny Depp, Benicio Del Toro and Tobey Maguire

What’s it about?

The story follows , Raoul Duke, and his attorney, Dr. Gonzo, as they descend on Las Vegas to chase the American Dream through a drug-induced haze.

The novel lacks a clear narrative and frequently delves into the surreal, never quite distinguishing between what is real and what is only imagined by the characters.

The basic synopsis revolves around journalist Raoul Duke and his attorney, Dr. Gonzo, as they arrive in 1970s Las Vegas to report on the Mint 400 motorcycle race.

Hunter S Thompson coined the phrase “gonzo journalism” which was essentially getting stoned out of your mind and recording things for the story that the hallucinating journalist finds amusing

During the film, we see the characters move through a series of bizarre hallucinogenic trips, during which they destroy hotel rooms, wreck cars, attack each other and have visions of crazy talking animals, all the while reflecting on the city’s culture of insanity.

Fear of loathing is definitely a trip for your head

A great quote from Fear of Loating in Las Vegas:

“There he goes. One of God’s own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.“


Requiem for a dream

Who’s the nut case who wrote this thing?

Darren Aronofsky

Although the film was put together by Darren Aronosfsky, it is based on a novel by Hubert Selby Jr.

What’s Requiem for a Dream About?

This movie takes the viewer straight into the world of addiction as the main characters all spiral down into a personal hell. Each character gives up all pride, scruples, and love for each other in order to feed the addiction monsters within.

Depending on your mindset at the time, you may find certain scenes either amusing or very disturbing.

If Addiction and heavy imagery are not your thing, you can always try Aronofsky’s movie “Pi” which is based upon a genius’s path to find god and in turn, insanity.

Best line from Requiem for a Dream:

Sara Goldfarb: “How come you know more about medicine than a doctor?”
Harry Goldfarb: “Believe me, Ma: I know. “

The Trip

Believe it or not, people used to do drugs back in the 60s

Who is the Nutcase who wrote this thing?

The Trip is a cult film written by Jack Nicholson.

What’s “The Trip” all about?

Its about a man who takes his first Dose of LSD to get over the heartbreak of his cheating wife. Although he has a guide in the beginning to help prevent him from doing anything too stupid, he later runs away in a panic, and finds himself wandering the Sunset Strip of California nightclubs.

Best Quote from the Movie: ”Max: I wish there was some hip way of telling you this, baby, but, ah… you’re one with and part of an ever-expanding, loving, joyful, glorious, and harmonious universe.“

Naked Lunch

Who is the nutcase who wrote this thing?

David Cronenberg

David Cronenberg

William S. Burroughs

William S. Burroughs

Although David Cronenberg has an equally warped mind, the original book titled “Naked Lunch” was written by William S. Burrows.

What’s “Naked Lunch” All About?

William Lee (The main character is played by Robocop, a.k.a Peter Weller. )

He becomes convinced that his typewriter is working for a giant bug that is trying to get him to kill his wife because she is part of a spy organization named “interzone incorporated.”

Refusing to believe the lies of some mutant bug, lee returns home and accidentally shoots his wife in the head while performing a William Tell Routine. Realizing he has accidentally accomplished his mission, Robocop (lee)  discovers that there is a conspiracy at interzone with a narcotic harvesting operation producing a new drug called “Black Meat” that is derived from the guts of giant centipedes and suddenly, everything his typewriter told him makes perfect sense.

At Daft Gadgets, we believe that a head trip may be the only vacation some of us can afford, so please feel free to share any other films that made your head nearly explode.

18+ People Who Died and Came Back

Written by Jason Scott. Posted in Daily Daft, Funny But True

The Return of Persephone by Frederic Leighton (1891).

The Return of Persephone by Frederic Leighton (1891).

Sometimes people die and come back to life. Sometimes they are zombies, sometimes they are reanimated by a t virus, and sometimes they were never dead at all.

Although there are a few publicity stunts noted below, we at Daft Gadgets feel that one person in particular deserves a more in depth look into their death and resurrection.

Hiroo Onoda

"Never Surrender!"

"Never Surrender!"

Some of you may remember that old Gilligan’s Island rerun where the crazed Japanese soldier in the submarine takes Gilligan and his island pals hostage, believing that World War II was not over.

What you may not know, is that this crazy sitcom skit wasn’t that far off from the truth.

Officially Declared Dead and Forgotten in 1959, Lieutenant Hiro Onoda (Not to be confused with Hiro “Nakamura”) survived the harsh conditions of the Philippines jungle for over 2 decades.

No, he wasn’t a zombie, he was just an MIA soldier who happened to be too far away to see the fat man drop on Hiroshima.

No, not this Hiro/Hero

No, not this Hiro/Hero

His dedication to the cause of Japan allowed him to keep high morale, while his military training ensured his survival in the jungle.

Onoda, was also not alone. During part of his time in Hades he had three other soldiers with him and was doing quite well strategically capturing Filipinos since most of them were unaware that WWII was still going on.

Although there were numerous attempts to inform Onoda that the war was over (via leaflet) Onoda believed these to be “Propaganda Tricks” and ignored them. Nobody knew what to do about him since he seemed to just randomly show up from the Jungle and disappear, he was after all trained as an Intelligence officer by the commando class “Futamata”.At first, some people thought he was a myth that some kids probably made up, but a shootout with local police in 1972 made some people begin to believe otherwise.

It would take a Japanese college dropout by the name of Norio Suzuki to begin a life quest to find 3 things:

  1. Lieutenant Onoda,
  2. A Panda bear,  and
  3. The Abominable Snowman or “Yeti,”

in that exact order.

On February 20th 1974, Onoda and Suzuki met face to face in the Jungle and became friends. He told Onoda about the war but Onoda refused to give up until he received orders from a superior officer.

Suzuki returned to Japan with pictures of himself and Onoda as proof (in case they labeled him a one of those bigfoot crackpots) and the Japanese government in turn, located an old book seller by the name of Taniguchi, previously known as Major Taniguchi and Onoda’s commanding officer.

Major Taniguchi took his final mission and flew to Lubang on March 9th 1974 and ordered Onoda to surrender.

29 years after the end of WWII, Onoda emerged from the jungle and returned home to Japan. There he was welcomed as a hero and would later release his autobiography titled: “No Surrender: My Thirty Year War”

Other people who have been reported dead only to be alive include names like:

Alice Cooper

Alice Cooper Live Wacken

Alice Cooper Live Wacken

In the early 70s, there was a satirical obituary and concert review by Melody Maker magazine. Fans took it as literally as the Orson Wells alien hoax and Mr Cooper was forced to make a public statement that say he was:

“Alive, and drunk as usual”


Queen Elizabeth II

On May 17th 2010 a facebook member named Queen Elizabeth died, leading Danny Kelly BBC Host to play “God Save the Queen” and announce the Queen’s official death. Although meant as a joke, it didn’t go off well with Mr Kelly’s producer.

Apparently the BBC doesn’t endorse that type of sense of humor.

Alfred Nobel

in 1888 Alfred read his obituary which labeled him the “Merchant of Death” The obit was actually a mix up for his brother, but it was enough to cause Alfred to change his will and create what we now know as “The Nobel Prize”

Other notable early obits include;

Joe Dimaggio, Ernest Hemingway, Paul McCartney, Mark Twain, George Bush, Gerald Ford, Ronald Reagan, Fidel Castro, Sean Connery, Russel Crowe, Bob Hope (Twice), Steve Jobs, and many, many more, including:

Luca Barbareschi

You may remember Luca Barbareschi from the film: “The International” as Umberto Calvini, an arms manufacturer who is an Italian Prime Ministerial candidate.

Or Maybe you don’t, but perhaps you will find the story of his death 28 years earlier a bit more memorable.

Luca was one of four actors believed to have been murdered during the making of the horror film,” Cannibal Holocaust” (not to be confused with the film Cannibal Hectare that doesn’t actually exist)

The film was so life like for its time, the Italian police arrested the film’s director Ruggero Deodato for murder, and didn’t release him for an entire year when Luca and the other actors appeared on television stating the murders weren’t a snuff film but a movie. (They didn’t come out to the press earlier because people believing the murders were real gave them free publicity)

Mr. Barbareschi later transformed his fame into a political career, becoming a member of the Italian Parliament.

7 Crazy New Ice Cream Flavors You Have to Try and 2 You Really Shouldn’t

Written by Jason Scott. Posted in Daily Daft, Funny But True

According to custom, we all scream for ice cream, but do we all scream for the same type? Sure, every now and again some experiments give us a Dulce de leche or a Cherry Garcia, but nobody thinks about just how many failed Ice cream flavors had to be tried along the rocky road of dessert discovery.

At Daft Gadgets, we love ice cream. So much that we will eat twice as much as we need just to avoid leaving any in a freezer for anybody else. We go out of our way to try new things including new ice cream recipes in the hopes of making the desert aspects of our lives complete.

That being said, here is a list of some special types of ice cream you may never have heard of.  Some good, some great, some perfect for certain occasions, and some that have us scratching our heads wondering:

“What the hell were they on when they came up with this flavor?”


1.American Beauty

You may remember American Beauty as the story of a man in his 40s whose libido slaps him awake into a mid life crisis when he espies a cheerleader he believes is having “Cheer sex” with him. American Beauty is also the name of the hybrid rose that appears on the cover of the theatrical release poster.

What we didn’t know was that it has since been made into an ice cream that actually has rose petals in it?  We have no idea why, but it has been suggested that the ice cream is supposed to be like an indulgence in sin.

2.Arab Lunch

Arab Lunch

Lunch in the Arab world is considered the main meal of the day and is traditionally eaten after the noon prayer. We have no idea who came up with the Arab Lunch flavored Ice cream which consists of cheese dates and honey, but were holding back our judgement until hear from the Arab community’s taste buds.

This is one of those flavors that could be surprisingly good.

3.AZuki Bean

 Photo compliments of diana schnuths photo stream

Photo compliments of diana schnuths photo stream

The Azuki Bean is very popular in Japan and is used in many of their desserts like the matcha muffin

and Yokan, which is made from Azuki Bean paste

Youkan Eat this for Dessert!.....Booooooo

Youkan Eat this for Dessert!....."Booooooo"

#4. Spaghetti Bolognese ice cream

Wouldnt Spaghetti Gelato Make More Sense?

"Wouldn't Spaghetti Gelato Make More Sense?"

At first you might think this is odd, and then you realize its all in the look, not the ingredients.

5. I Yam what I Yam

Well, Lares Ice Cream Parlor in Puerto Rico is known to carry ice cream flavors from sweet potato to shrimp and codfish flavored. If you’re looking to give it a try, Angie Tee does a pretty good job of adapting a recipe from David Lebowitz’s “The Perfect Scoop”

Photo thanks to Angie Tee of daily buzz moms

We figure its has to be better than the shrimp or codfish flavor (yes these are the 2 you probably should avoid).

6.Nesselrode

The frozen version of a classic French pudding, said to have been invented by a French chef who worked for Russian diplomat Count Nesselrode in Paris in the mid-1800s.

Cuisine.com shows you a Nesselrod ice cream recipe. Your on your own for the ice cream.

The ice cream is usually flavored with chestnuts poaches in syrup as well as 8 other flavors including rum, brandy, lemon and pineapple.

#7. Roquefort Honey Cheese Ice Cream

Blue Cheese Honey

Roqueofrt is a raw milk cheese aged 3-9 months in caves and typically goes well with winter fruits like Pears.

It’s on the Daft Gadgets lists of ice creams to try, once we get in a line of ice cream makers in our Gadget Shop. 🙂

5 Serial Slashers Too Funny To Be Scary

Written by Jason Scott. Posted in Daily Daft

#1. Silent Night Deadly Night.

Remember 1984? Well even George Orwell couldn’t have predicted entertainment that was this bad.

Silent Night Deadly Night was the 1984 lack luster story of Billy Chapman.  Billy was was traumatized at an early age by the sight of watching a crazed man in a Santa Clause suit kill his parents. He believes that this happened because they were “naughty”. He gets sent to an orphanage where he is abused by a very mean mother superior in various ways and told that punishment is good for him and that people need to be punished.

Years later, he is asked to put on a Santa suit by his co workers that causes him to have an instant flashback of all his horrible memories. This sends Billy on a rampage of Punishment

The Best Line and Scene in Silent Night Deadly Night

It has to be “Garbage Day!”

2. The Gingerdead Man

The GingerDead Man Begins in Waco Texas (yes Waco, no Wacko), and opens with a Crazed Gunman (played by Gary Busy) shooting up a local diner, killing everyone except a girl and her mother. Mr Busy get sentenced to fry in the electric chair due to the testimony of the survivors.

His body gets cremated and the ashed are sent to his mother who happens to be a witch. She mixes them together with some gingerbread spice mix bringing her son back to life in the form a a freshly back gingerbread man.

Best Scene in Gingerdead Man

Probably where the gingerbread man drives over the dude with his car.

Best line in Gingerdead Man: ” Got Milk?”

3. Inseminoid

Released in 1981, Inseminoid begins with a group of archeologist on a “Planet X” exploring the remnants of an ancient alien civilization.

Inseminoid is the name of the last surviving alien of the planets previous inhabitants. It gains its name from its behavior which is attacking women and inseminating them to be reborn as a hybrid species. In exchange, the woman becomes psychotic with the preternatural strength of an alien mother protecting her unborn hybrid twin offspring. Although not quite a serial killer, inseminoid can create death scenes that rival the Jasons and chuckys alike.

Best Scene in Inseminoid

Well, other than the scene where explosions cause a door to blow up in the opposite direction, there is a scene where one of the crew members gets her foot caught in the door, and to open it she needs to attach two wires together. Not being technologically adept, she decides to cut her leg off with a saw instead?

Here’s a quick snippet before you trade 93 minutes of your life away: Inseminoid Trailer

#4. Rabid Grannies

Well believe it or not, the title here may be a misnomer. The Rabid Grannies are actually aunties, although there are supposedly 93 years old. The Plot begins on their birthday where they have the whole family over for a massive dinner celebration. Everyone is excited because they believe these rich grannies will die soon leaving the rest of the family millions of dollars in cash.

Unfortunately the grannies probably got rich from making a deal with Satan, and as such, they plan on living a long time. To do so, they apparently need to eat people, and they have a fun time tracking down each family member one at a time.

Best Scene:

Where Grannie #2 possesses Roger’s dead body and runs over Jessica, although when one of the grannies dresses up in a suit of armor it is quite comical as well.

Heres a peak at the trailer: Rabid Grannies

#5. Jack Frost

Photo Compliments of Ryan Kasnick (click photo for his cool slide show)

Photo Compliments of Ryan Kasnick (click photo for his cool slide show)

Remember in Halloween how Michael Myers escaped from the mental asylum and went on a killing spree? Now lets just pretend that during his escape his car hit some black ice and caused him to smash into a truck carrying toxic waste. Now lets pretend that his dying body fused together with the toxic waste and snow he was lying in transferring his insanity into the snow. Now call him Jack.

This is essentially the plot of Jack Frost, the killer Snowman.

After the accident, Jack the psycho is able to throw snowballs, make people slip to their death, or even stab people in the eye with an icicle! This last one works the best since it leaves no evidence behind after the icicle melts, causing everyone to think its just another oddball accident that happens in every small town. Of course superstitions lead the town to go a little crazy after the 3rd and 4th mysterious killing.

This leads the town sheriff on a quest to solve the case of the strange deaths plaguing the town. Little does he know however, that the snowman psycho’s MO is to find the evil sheriff responsible for sending him to prison, and of course kill him in some sort of satisfactory way.

Although Jack Frost may be one of the lamest serial killers out there, it definitely has its funny moments.

The Best Scene in Jack Frost?

Probably the shower scene the killer snowman takes with the leading lady.

The Best Line in the Movie?

When Jack gets hit by a car he yells out “I can see your house from up here”

The 8 Part Dinosaur Abomination Too Badass for Jurassic Park 5

Written by Jason Scott. Posted in Daily Daft

The Megasaurus

superdinosmall

"See Bottom of Page for Full Size Infographic"

For those of you who read Mr. Skinner’s book titled “Billy and the Cloneasaurus” you are probably familiar with the idea of scientists in the future bringing dinosaurs back from the dead using advanced cloning techniques.

At Daft Gadgets we figured if the scientists were so advanced, why are they still making copies of things mother nature did over a million years ago? Why not splice a little and see if you can improve upon the design. After all, the original dinosaurs were a failure, and everyone knows two wrongs don’t make a right, so what do we have to lose?

Here is a design for the ultimate dinosaur, the best of the best to rule them all!

#1. Deadliest Bite

Tyrannosaurus Rex

First and foremost, a dinosaur has to have a killer bite. Yes, we contemplated a poisonous bite like a snake and a bacterial bite like a Komodo dragon, but in the end we figured it was probably best to just clone the T-Rex’s head.
T- rex could gulp you down whole or masticate you into mush, depending on its mood. It had the strongest jaws of all the dinosaurs and huge teeth for chowin’ down

#2. The Smartest Dinosaur

The Troodon

In a dino eat dino world, a big bite is important to survival. However, a well developed brain means a more clever and cunning bread of dinosaur.

The Troodon had a very large brain size for its body, and was probably the smartest of the dinosaurs. Unfortunately is was still probably dumber than today’s modern birds, which finally proves Alfred Hitchcock’s movie “The birds” is a scarier in concept than Hollywood’s “Jurassic Park.”

#3. The Fastest Dinosaur

Dromiceiomimus

The Dromiceiomimus may have had a stupid beak looking face, but it also had the fastest legs in town. Capable of running 60 km per hour, this dino was like a 12 foot long greyhound.

#4. The Longest Necked Dinosaur

Mamenchisaurus

Anyone who has ever played a game of Street Fighter II against the annoying Dhalsim knows that reach is one of the most important aspects of any fight.

The Manenchiasaurus had the longest neck of all the dinosaurs, stretching up to 45 Feet! In our version, the scientists of the future adapt the neck so that it can enter into its protected body like a turtle (or Bowser from Super Mario if you prefer) and it can strangle you like an anaconda.

If you think this is too far fetched you really need to re-read Billy and the Cloneasaurus.  It explains everything.

#5. The Best Armor

Anklyosaurus

Armor built like a tank war machine the Anklyosaurus boasted a club like tail and even fully armored eyelids! It’s name actually means stiff lizard, but there are too many jokes that can be made about this so we are moving on to the next aspect.

#6. The Deadliest Tail

Stegosaurus

The Stegosaurus carried the most lethal tail of them all, called a “Thagomizer.”  The Thagomizer was basically a tail with 3 foot long (1 meter) spikes at the end used to bash other dinosaurs brains in. The Stegosaurus didn’t have to worry about getting its brains bashed in however,  since its brain was only the size of a ping pong ball.

#7. The Most Vicious Claws

Utahraptor

Correct us if we’re wrong but we feel that retractable slashing claws are probably one of the better weapons to have if you live in Jurassic Park.

The Utah Raptor definitely had the most vicious claws of all the dinosaurs at  12 inches long. They have an almost “Thumb like” appearance which means they could probably grab hold of some pretty big prey.

#8. Best Singing Voice

Parasaurolophus

Nothing says I love you like a song, and we all know that procreation is the most important aspects to the survival of a species.

The Parasaurolophus was like a musician. It could trumpet though hollow crest that emerged from the back of its head. This could be used to scare off attackers, communicate with offspring, call or signal for help, or it could have been used in some sort of mating ritual.

After all, with a trumpet in their head they’re bound to get horny every once in a while……..

….Yes we know that pun was horrible and we kept it in anyway.

If you want to dig up a dinosaur at home you can check out the T-Rexcavator Game for some archeologist type fun!

superdino6

4 Lost Treasures You Still Have a Shot At

Written by Jason Scott. Posted in Daily Daft, Funny But True

#1.  Yamashita’s Gold and The Caves of Bacuit Bay

Where are they?

Because of its remote location, Bacuit Bay was virtually unknown to the world until 1979 when a boat propeller accident led a group of divers into discovering some of the most breathtaking island scenery nature has to offer.

Endless virgin forest was found throughout the archipelago, all surrounded by fine white sand and crystal clear waters. To the stranded divers, It must have been like finding a piece of heaven.

Bacuit Bay can be found in El Nido, Palawan in the Philippines. It boasts many different caves, the most famous probably being Cudugnon Cave seen below.  The photo is this artistic expression by Christina Macfarlane and Kelly Hsiao from Discover Palawan.

Not sure if they thought to look for Yamashita’s Gold while they were in there.

Photo Thanks to Discoverpalawan.posterous.com

Photo Thanks to Discoverpalawan.posterous.com

How did the treasure get there?

Well before we get all “Indiana Jones” we need to point out that nobody knows which cave the treasure is hidden in. If they did, there would probably be a demolition team in there treating the cave like some common gold mine. In fact, some people aren’t even sure that the treasure is still, or ever was hidden in the Bacuit caves.  Its just the best guess going at this point.

According to history, the Japanese Army went on a pillaging and looting spree from 1936 to 1943 where they built up a pile of treasure from the different churches, monasteries, banks, temples, citizens, and fallen governments. They looted everywhere from China, Manchuria, Indochina, Thailand, Burma, Malaya, Borneo, Singapore and the Dutch indies.

Where this treasure ended up is still a mystery today.

As far as we know, back in 1944, there were 52 ships under the command of Vice Admiral Takehita transporting all this gold and treasure from Singapore to Japan. Unfortunately for Takehita, this was right around the same time General MacArthur invaded the Philippines, sinking Two of the ships off the shores of Bacuit Bay.

It is believed that these ships anchored in the Tapituan passage and stashed their gold in the underwater caves, waiting till the day its found by some lucky tourist on a diving expedition.

#2. Blackbeard’s Treasure

Not to be confused with the Blackbeard known as Edward Teach, Captain Blackbeard’s treasure of pure Spanish Silver Bars was worth 1.5 million dollars back in 1811. Now that may not seem like a lot, but with the price of silver these days, Blackbeard’s treasure could be one of the biggest bootys still waiting to be found.

Back in 1811 Captain Blackbeard was commissioned from the British Admiralty to raise the wreckage of a Spanish galleon that had gone down off the Bahamas during a Hurricane in 1680. He was successful by towing the ship into Baltimore with all the loot intact.

Of Course this called for a Celebration, the likes of which brought justice to the song “Drunken Sailor.” During his drunken rant he was approached by a profiteer at the tavern who told him that he knew all about his precious silver, and had the means to alleviate Blackbeard’s burden of sending it back to England.  Between this and the upcoming war between Britain and the U.S. Captain Blackbeard decided to stash the silver.

Sometime near the end of the summer of 1812, Blackbeard made a trip to the village of Keating Summit, McKean County Pennsylvania. It would be here that he would bury some or perhaps all of the Silver, with the idea of digging it up later.

Unfortunately, he sent someone else to retrieve it, and they were never able to locate it….At least so they claim.

#3. King John’s Crown Jewels

In the year 1215 a caravan of King John of England made an unsuccessful attempt to cross the sands of The Wash, while on its journey between Kings Lynn and Long Sutton. During the escapade, the treasure loaded caravan was trapped by an incoming tide and descending current from the Nene River.

King John had taken a different path due to his illness, and was able to witness the loss of the treasure first hand. The treasure was said to contain his most prized possession, the Crown Jewels. Luckily however, he died a few days later, so the loss of his crown Jewels probably didn’t burden him very much.

The Present Day location of the treasure (or rather the loss of) is considered to be somewhere near Sutton Bridge, on the River Nene, if you want to go looking.

#4. The Treasure of Moctezuma

For those of you who have heard of Motezumas revenge, you may also have heard the story behind why someone might be seeking revenge from beyond the grave.

In 1519 an armada of Spanish troops set sights on Mexico after hearing the legendary stories of “El Dorado” the City of Gold. Now, semi ironically, they did find a mountain of silver when they landed (yes a real mountain), however, as interesting as finding a mountain made of silver may be, this story is about treasure that “Hasn’t” been found yet.

Now for those of you who have read our article about prophecy, you may be familiar with what happened when Cortes arrived. As luck would have it, his arrival fulfilled the Aztec prophecy that the wind god Quetzalcoatl would return to reclaim Mexico. Since their wasn’t anyone else around to challenge his identity of being the wind god, Cortes assumed the role and essentially took everything they had, raping and pillaging and on his way out he left the Aztec people with a few new diseases to try out and experience.

So as you can see, this might make a soul a little restless.

Okay, so there was a bunch of gold and a mountain of silver. Where can I find it.

According to some, in 1920 Freddy Crystal found a treasure map inside a long forgotten manuscript that was stored away in an old church. The manuscript was written by a Spanish Friar who stated that the Spanish had tried to follow the map, but were unfamiliar with the territories to the north and eventually gave up in frustration.

Crystal had learned how to decipher Aztec petroglyphs from canyon walls, and realized that some of the landmarks were similar to those found in Southern Utah, particularly one place near the town of Kanab.

Crystal showed his map to a wealthy rancher named Oscar Robinson and convinced him to invest in his treasure hunt. After 2 years of searching, he actually found a location that fit the map. A large main canyon with side draws, seven mountains, each in it’s proper order!

Excited, he ran down the mountain side to the site where he found steps that were carved directly into the mountain. After climbing the steps he came to a “False Wall” in the cliff face, that led to a long dark corridor. On both sides of the corridor were statues that appeared to be ancient in their origin.

At this point he told everyone in the town and got hundreds of them all excited and volunteering to help out with the excavation of the long lost treasure of Moctezuma. After three years, the residents found lots of false walls and exposed an entire cave system, some of which can still be explored today. Which means you may still have a chance to find the treasure, assuming of course your with someone who knows how to find the hidden entrance.

Courtesy of Paul Jones

Courtesy of Paul Jones

http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/temp-2010-06-19/xCGaaDmyBFwcsaJgeAEfcjepIJJIlchdyFpkyJwyizdzlbCDDcJnnwunfqes/100608-143038-P8Edit.jpg.scaled1000.jpg

7 Places You May Find a Cheshire Cat

Written by Jason Scott. Posted in Daily Daft

The Cheshire Cat

Who is The Cheshire Cat?

Alice “But I don’t want to go among mad people”
Cheshire Cat: “Oh, you can’t help that,’ `we’re all mad here.”

The Cheshire Cat first appears in Chapter 6, Pig and Pepper, in Lewis Carroll’s book, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. He belongs to the Duchess and plays a crucial role in helping Alice understand the insane rules of wonderland.

What’s so famous about him?

His trademark smile and clever conversation. The Cheshire cat has a way of disappearing, leaving only an image of his grin behind. This grin has become part of modern day nomenclature inspiring sayings like: “Grinning like a Cheshire cat”

The Cheshire Cat lends its name to two public house in the county of Cheshire; one near Stockport and another just south of Chester .

Although the true origin of this crazy cat is still a mystery.

The Cheshire Cat has made appearances in almost every area of pop culture and media, including:

#1. Movies

alice in wonderland

Alice in wonderland

Although the Cheshire cat appears in every new version of Alice in Wonderland (there are quite a few) He also occasionally does a cameo, like the one in the movie “Who Framed Roger Rabbit”

Who Framed Roger Rabbit was known for its many different cartoon cameos

#2. Cheese

It has been said that cheese was formerly sold in Cheshire molded like a cat that looked as though it was grinning”.  The cheese was cut from the tail end, so that the last part eaten was the head of the smiling cat, kind of like how people always eat the chocolate Easter bunny’s ears first.

Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese Mold.

Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese Mold.

The Cheshire Cheese Campaign won a Gold award at the 2009 Cheshire County Show with their entry into the cheeseboard category. The board, called ‘The Cheshire Cat’ was constructed using White, Coloured & Blue Cheshire cheese, all made at the Joseph Heler dairy in Cheshire

#3. Television

My Name is Ozymandias King of Kings!

"My Name is Ozymandias King of Kings!"

In the Star Trek episode “Who Mourns for Adonis?”, Kirk and Chekov argue over the origin of the “vanishing cat” and Chekov muses that it came from Minsk. ( Of course the plot of the show was actually about a god who is no longer needed and runs home crying when he gets rejected by a mortal woman. But we wanted to bring up the Star Trek reference.)

#4. Art Science

If you have read our previous article “6 Reasons you shouldn’t believe your eyes” You may already be aware of some of the optical illusion tricks your eyes play on you.

The Exploratorium museum of science, art and human perception has an exhibit that shows you how to turn your friend into a Cheshire cat as seen here: Make a friend disappear leaving only a smile behind.

The exhibit was created by Bob Miller in 1978, features a mirrored eyepiece that allows you to look at a picture of the Cheshire Cat’s face with one eye, while your other eye sees a reflection of a white screen at the side. When you wave your hand across the white screen, the Cheshire cat starts to disappear. This optical phenomenon is called the Cheshire Cat effect.

#5. Sex, Drugs and Rock n Roll

Okay we only have examples of drugs and rock n roll, but were assuming the former occasionally gets thrown in.

The Cheshire Cat is commonly found on LSD blotters (possibly due to the popularity of the Song “White Rabbit” by Jefferson Airplane) as well as in song lyrics and all types of music.  Blink 182’s Debut album was called Cheshire Cat

#6. Video Games

Remember the game Dragon’s Lair? In part 2 The Cheshire Cat appears as an annoying talking head, reciting the Jabberwocky poem while trying to devour “Dirk the Daring”.

dragons lair pic

The Cheshire cat is sometimes depicted with a little more edge like as seen as the mangy and emaciated enigmatic guide for Alice in the video game named “American McGee’s Alice”

#7. Novel Adaptations

Inspired by Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass. The story then begins many years earlier, on Alyss’ seventh birthday, in the Wonderland of Alyss’ memory, which is ruled by imagination and is the source of all imagination for all other worlds
Here the Cheshire Cat is the Red Queen’s top assassin. The Cat has butcher knife claws and can change from his true form to the form of a small black kitten.

He initially has nine lives, but loses all but one by the end of the book.

As you can see, wherever you are, it may be good idea to keep an eye out.  You never know, you could be under surveillance by a Grinning Cheshire Cat.

5 Common Badass Plants that Might Kill You!

Written by Jason Scott. Posted in Daily Daft, Funny But True

Depiction of a native being consumed by a Ya-te-veo (I see you) carnivorous tree of Central America, from Land and Sea by J.W. Buel, 1887.

Depiction of a native being consumed by a Ya-te-veo ("I see you") carnivorous tree of Central America, from Land and Sea by J.W. Buel, 1887.

Unless you’re a zombie, you wont remember  a story way back in the mid 1800s about the German Explorer Carl Liche.   According to Australian authorities Mr Liche saw a Ya te Veo (“I See You”) plant grab a woman with its tentacles and swallow her whole

In its time, this story captured notoriety across the globe. It wasn’t until the 1950s that the story was debunked by a group of know it alls who felt that it was probably more likely that either the German Explorer killed her himself and attempted to cover it up to avoid going to jail (authorities were easier to fool back then) or that the German Explorer named Carl Liche never truly existed.

Now, our research shows us that such plants don’t exist, but we have found some similar (although toned down) versions of some pretty dangerous and badass plants that you really don’t want to mess with.

First lets take a look at a “Real” Pitcher Plant.

The largest of the pitcher plants is known as Nepenthes, and eats small rodents and lizards. (Who knows? Maybe the Dinosaurs went extinct from an abundance of giant carnivorous plants?)

Now this is the biggest of all the picture plants, and it still probably couldn’t handle a really freaked out squirrel (although we believe it would be funny to find out) so this type of plant is not really a threat to humans.

Now lets look at some that are:

#1. Deadly nightshade

Ralph: "I ated the purple berries!" Bart: "How do they taste Ralph?" Ralph: "It tastes like ... burning"

Deadly Nightshade Sounds like a really badass name for a female ninja. Why do we think that? because at Daft Gadgets we have a thing for Femme Fatales.

However, “Deadly Nightshade” is actually the moniker for a more commonly known plant named “Bella Donna” which literally translates into Pretty Lady. (We’re using lady over woman to not add confusion with the Richard Gere Julia Roberts film that will eventually become a #1 Broadway musical)’

Bella Donna takes its name from the historic use by women to become more attractive. Yes, we know what you are thinking, intoxication makes “Other” people attractive from the perspective of the drunk, not the other way around.  However, for whatever reason women used to take this drug to enlarge their pupils believing big pupils to be very attractive?

“Hey Lindsay, check out the pupils on that one!”

“Hey Lindsay, check out the pupils on that guy!”

Belladonna is rarely used cosmetically in modern times due to the minor visual distortions, inability to focus on near objects, and increased heart rate, and blindness caused from prolonged usage.

That and their size fetishes have moved to other parts of the body.

“What’s so Dangerous about it?”

Well the symptoms associated with “using” too much belladonna generally dilated pupils, sensitivity to light, blurred vision, tachycardia (fast heartbeat), loss of balance, staggering like a fool, headache, rashes, slurred speech, confusion, hallucinations, delirium, and convulsion.

Now we know a lot of these symptoms sound like something from your local neighborhood drunk, so to give you an idea of just how badass this poison is, think about it like this

It takes:

  • 2-5 berries to become lethal to children
  • 10 – 20 for adults.
  • Its root is toxic, and
  • one single leaf can kill a human.

“This sounds dangerous, where will I come across belladonna?”

Other than most recreational psychedelic endeavors, the most common place to come across such a substance in during laser eye surgery.  Lasik vision correction and other eye surgery uses atropine, one of the poisons in deadly nightshade, to dilate the patient’s pupils before operating.

Eye surgery on a hallucinogenic is definitely something we can only believe would be a really bad trip, but apparently, doctors know best.

#2. Castor bean

“This thing doesn’t look scary at all, it kind of looks like a nice Christmas mistletoe. What’s so dangerous about it?”

Its the most poisonous plant in the world. A lethal dose of Castor beans is around 4 – 8 seeds. Once you ingest them you can look forward to a burning in throat, abdominal pain, pooping blood, and other wonderful ailments.

Don’t worry though, if it goes untreated these horrible symptoms only last for 3-5 days.  Then death usually cures you.

Now unchewed seeds may pass without harm, so to get accurate readings some scientist probably crushed them up and fed them to the following innocent animals in order to find out how to keep you safe, so pay attention

It takes:

  • 4 seeds to kill a rabbit,
  • 5 seed to kill a sheep,
  • 6 seeds to kill oxes or horses,
  • 7 seed to kill a pig, and
  • For some odd reason Ducks can eat up to 80 seeds!

“These things sound kind of dangerous where will I run into them?”

This highly poisonous plant is used as a decorative in parks and other public areas, and particularly as a “dot plant” in traditional bedding schemes. So you may find it on a local Greece sidewalk or in your home town park.

Luckily most people nowadays don’t go around eating trees.

#3. Rosary Pea

“What’s do dangerous about the Rosary Pea?”

Well, less than 3 micrograms of ab­rin in the body is enough to kill, which means there is more than enough poison in one pea to kill you.

“Wow, this thing sounds dangerous, where will I come across it?”

Possibly from your spouse or lover. The rosary pea gives new meaning to the phrase “Till death do us part.” Commonly used in jewelry, it has long been a symbol of love in China. Its Chinese name is xiang si dou, or “mutual love bean”.

Often used in jewelry, the rosary pea poses a greater danger to the jewelry maker than to the wearer. There are many reported cases of death when jewelry makers prick a finger while handling the rosary pea, so making the jewelry must also be a labor of love.

You may also find it on your quest to destroy the ring of power.

In Trinidad in the West Indies the brightly colored seeds are strung into bracelets and worn around the wrist or ankle to ward off jumbies or evil spirits and “mal-yeux” – the evil eye

#4. Water Hemlock

I Killed Socrates!

"I Killed Socrates!"

“It looks okay, what’s so dangerous about it?”

The water hemlock is considered by many to be the most deadly plant on the continent.  The water hemlock’s white roots are also sometimes mistaken for a parsnip plant, which is a potentially fatal error. For those unlucky enough to taste this parsnip impostor, the onset of illness is rapid. The cicutoxin contained in the plant causes violent and painful convulsions, nausea, vomiting, cramps and muscle tremors. Those who survive the poisoning experience long-term health conditions, such as amnesia, which is really bad if they don’t remember that the hemlock is poisonous and end up eating it again.

Additional neurological symptoms may include hallucinations, delirium, tingling, pricking, or numbness of a person’s skin, dilated pupils, and coma

“This thing sounds horrible, where will I come across it?”

The wildflower, which grows to 6 feet (1.8 meters), thrives along stream banks, in marshy areas, and in low-lying, damp meadows. Typically, they grow in wet habitats by ponds and streams, marshes, swamps, or other areas that country kids like to play in.

Its most commonly found throughout Northern North America, but can also be found in central Europe.

#5. Oleander

“This flower is beautiful, what’s so dangerous about it?”

The gastrointestinal effects can consist of nausea and vomiting, excess salivation, abdominal pain, diarrhea that may or may not contain blood and can include drowsiness, tremors or shaking of the muscles, seizures, collapse, and even coma that can lead to death.

In fact, an oleander’s poison is so strong, that it can poison a person who simply eats the honey made by bees that have digested oleander nectar!

It is one of the most poisonous plants in the world and contains numerous toxic compounds, many of which are deadly to people, especially young children. it only takes a single ingested oleander leaf to kill a child.

“Wow, that does sound dangerous especially to children. Where will I come across this dangerous plant?”

Yes, oleander is often grown in school yards. However it is native to Mauritania, Morocco, and Portugal eastward through the Mediterranean region and the Sahara (where it is only found sporadically), to the Arabian peninsula, southern Asia, and as far East as Yunnan in southern parts of China. It typically occurs around dry stream beds.

In the USA Oleander can be found as far north as the Outer Banks of North Carolina or commonly as a highway divider in Southern California, which is probably just one more reason to stay in your car.

If you know of any common poisonous plants that people may accidentally come across, please share.  Knowledge is power.

Copyright © 2009-2015 DaftGadgets.com. Your Trusted Online Source for Geek Toys and Gadgets, RC Hobby Parts and Vehicles, and Unusual Gift Ideas. All Rights Reserved.