Author Archive

Monte Richard

Monte Richard is a super villain who also writes in his spare time. He enjoys long walks on the beach, scented candles, and total world domination. You can check out his articles at Cracked.com (http://www.cracked.com/members/thelastmonte/) or on his blog, thelastmonte.wordpress.com

Mobile Phone Chargers – Docking Stations and Gadgets for Charging Your Cell Phone or Media Player

Written by Monte Richard. Posted in Gadgets

 

So, you’ve got the latest and greatest cellular smart phone super handheld turbo techno marvel huh? Sweet. I bet that thing burns through some batteries though. All you need now is a place to set it up so it can charge. You need a cradle for your new baby. A bed to tuck it away so it can rest up and get its juice back. Something to give your wonderful new toy a boost so you can get back to your important work (or Angry Birds or Words With Friends).

Unfortunately we don’t have any products that could help you out. Not a one. Sorry, but we don’t carry any iPod, iPhone, or MP3 chargers at all, in the least, ever, under any circumstances. You are on your own friend. One day soon the battery on your poor media device will run down and then you’ll be out of business. No more phone calls or texting or pictures of funny cats for you. That will be a sad day.

It sure would be nice if we had a great selection of cradles and chargers to meet every taste and need. Maybe some for the office, a few for the traveler on the go, perhaps even one or two for the outdoorsy types. But alas we at DaftGadgets.com simply do not carry any chargers whatsoever, at all. Nope.

1) Mobile Phone Chargers – Universal Desktop Charger

Mobile Phone Chargers - Universal Desktop Charger

 

Now if we had chargers, and we’re not saying we do, because we don’t, then the Universal Desktop Charger would be a the top of the list. This sleek, stylish cradle is perfect for any office setting. You depend on your phone. You’re contacts, emails, pictures, addenda, and who knows what else is on this small candy bar sized device.

Don’t just throw your phone on the desk when you walk into the office. Don’t let it float aimlessly around your workspace like some sort of techno vagabond. Get your device a home of it’s very own with the Universal Desktop Charger.

Now you won’t have to pick up or hunch over your phone every time you want to access an app because it’s sitting up facing you. With the Universal Desktop Charger your device is always ready for work. When you’re not using it you can use it as a candy bar holder too. And did we mention that its ‘universal’? That means it can charge anything in the universe (probably).

2) Mobile Phone Chargers – iPower Station For iPod and iPhone

Mobile Phone Chargers - iPower Station

Your boss is calling and he needs figure for the client right now, immediately, at this very instant, no he can’t wait. Unfortunately it’s eight at night and you’re out catching a bite to eat with a very hot date. But it’s all good. You can get everything he needs right from your smart phone.

Ah the wonders of technology. You tend conduct a large portion of your business over and through your phone anyway so this is no big deal to you. In fact, you’ve been on the phone all day long…which is why you’re battery is about to die. Now you’re toast. It took an hour to get this table and your boss isn’t going to accept ‘I forgot to charge my phone’ as an excuse…and where is that waiter with your appetizer? But then you suddenly remember that you have the iPower Station for the iPod and iPhone. Slap it in and voila, you’ve just bought yourself several hours of phone (or music) time.

The iPower Station is a back up battery that plugs straight into your docking station port and being the smart tycoon that you are you never go anywhere without it. Now you’re boss is happy, your date is impressed, and a stern glance from you got those appetizers to the table lickity split.

Don’t let a dead phone ruin your day. With the iPower Station you’re always prepared.

3) Mobile Phone Chargers – Emergency Phone Charger

Mobile Phone Chargers - Emergency Phone Chargers

Lets say you don’t own an iPod or an iPhone. In fact, you don’t have any Apple products at all. Not that you don’t have nice stuff. You probably have tons of great devices. MP3 players, phones, cameras, concealed video equipment, listening devices, electric tooth brushes, the works. Well if you’re job depends on this equipment then you need One back up battery to rule them all, the Emergency Phone Charger!

This device is powered by a common, run of the mill AA battery. Plug it in and it’ll give you a few extra hours on your devices. No fuss no hassle no charging it up. As long as you’ve got access to batteries you’ll be set. It’s great for situations where you can’t get to a power source for a while. And the Emergency Phone Charger comes with seven different adapters to fit just about any modern cellular device.

It doesn’t matter if you’ve got a Sonny, Nokia, Samsung, and a Blackberry (why do you have so many phones?) it will power them all equally. The Emergancy Phone Charger is even compatible with iPods…even though we already said you don’t have any Apple products. Maybe you’ll get one for Christmas or something. Who knows?

4) Mobile Phone Chargers – Solar Power Charger Case

Mobile Phone Chargers - Solar Power Charging Case

Camping, hiking, and biking are great ways to get away from the stress and toil of the modern word. Getting back outdoors is so invigorating, so liberating. You’ve needed this change of pace for a while now. A chance to just unwind and reboot your system without having to worry about the hustle and bustle of normal life. And yet you still brought your cell phone along any way…just in case. But that’s all right because with the Solar Powered Charger Case you’ll always be able to use your gadgets (even when you’re supposed to be relaxing).

This little pack comes with a solar panel to soak up the suns rays and converts them into electrons for your phone. The Solar Power Charger Case comes with adapters for just about every phone type and it’s also a case where you can store you’re device when it’s not in use (which should be never, because you’re on vacation, remember).

So just chill out, soak up as much nature as you can, and try not to check your Facebook account every few hours. Yes, you’re addicted to your gadgets and the Solar Power Charger Case is a great way to enable your habit, even when your ‘roughing it’.

5) Mobile Phone Chargers – Wind Up Mobile Phone and iPod Charger

Mobile Phone Chargers - Windup Mobile phone charger

The world has come to an abrupt end. It’s Mad Max, post apocalyptic, end of civilization time. You’re one of the soul survivors of this barren wasteland. Maybe you’ve got like a dog or something as a companion.Though really, you’ll probably just end up eating him sooner or later.

But thankfully you’ve got your iPod. Humanity might be an endangered species that wrought hell on earth through their greed and pride, but at least you’ve got some tunes to listen to. But oh wait. You forgot your charger back at that nuclear crater you used to call home. Not that there’s any power running anywhere anyways. The infrastructure that delivered all our modern conveniences has pretty much been obliterated at this point. And solar energy is a bust because the skies have been stained black with ash and sin.
Fortunately you had the foresight to bring alone your Wind Up Mobile Phone and iPod Charger!

That’s right, when all else fails you can still cram electrons back inside your magic music box with this hand crank charger. Sure, it’ll take a while but you’re sitting in the middle of a barren wasteland. You’ve got time.

And the Wind Up Mobile Phone and iPod Charger also has a built in flashlight, so bonus! The rest of humanity might have been blasted back into the stone ages, but as long as you’ve got your Wind Up Mobile Phone and iPod Charger you can still listen to the greatest hits of Lady Gaga!

 

You Can See our Complete Line Up of Mobile Phone Chargers in Our Gadget Shop

6 Animals With Astounding Electric Powers

Written by Monte Richard. Posted in Daily Daft, Funny But True

Electricity, that magical, mystical force of nature that powers this modern age of marvels. Where does it come from? How does it get into our homes? Why can’t we bathe with a toaster? No one really knows. But thanks to Benjamin Franklin we can all watch TV, nuke nachos and play video games whenever we want through the wonders of electricity.

But we weren’t the first to unravel the secrets of this elusive force. In fact, lots of creatures utilize electricity in the most astounding ways. Mindless beasts have mastered this primal force of nature. Which is kind of weird when you think about it. No animal has ever figured out how to make fire but they can generate and manipulate electromagnetic waves?

It just goes to show that nature is weird.

Electric Eel

Electric Eel Electrophorus electricus

photo: Wikipedia Commons

No one will be surprised to see the Electric Eel on this list. Everyone knows this slimy, sinuous South American fish can shock the ever-loving heck out of you. Its one of those cool animals we all learn about as kids. It’s interesting, but not terribly surprising. It’ll zap you…big deal. So can the torpedo ray, electric catfish and static electricity zapping rug under your feet.

But what really sets the electric eel apart is how much voltage it can generate. The electric eel (which is really not an eel but a member of the catfish family) can smack you with up too 600 volts of natural, home grown electricity. That’s almost five times more than a standard house socket. And they can deliver these debilitating jolts every few seconds continuously…for two hours straight. That’s enough to make you very very dead indeed. Though human fatalities are rare (because really, who in their right mind goes swimming in the Amazon anyway) multiple bursts can cause cardiac arrest and drowning.

electric eel image

“If it’s beauty doesn’t kill you the 600 volts will.”

They can also sap you from up to six feet away and they can grow over eight feet in length. And just to round out the weirdness factor, electric eels breath mostly air because the water they live in is oxygen poor.

Here’s a video of one killing a crocodile:

electric eel vs gator video

Elephant Nosed Fish

First of all that’s not his nose, it’s his chin. Regardless, this is an unattractive fish. The Elephant Nosed Fish is quite possibly one of the ugliest most malformed aquatic creature you will ever set eyes upon. It also has what is probably the most sophisticated sensory equipment in the entire animal kingdom. This fish’s super chin lets it perceive the world around it in ways that could almost make Daredevil believable as a Superhero.  The power of Electrolocation, is apparently like Dardevils echolocation, only with electricity, and possibly magic.

Gnathonemus petersii Elephant Nosed Fish

Sharks and platypus are amazing in that they can detect the minute electric impulses given out by all living animals. But the elephant nosed fish has all that beat. It detects its favorite food buried in the mud and muck in the pitch of night with an electric field it generates through its tail and senses it with its elongated chin. And in case that doesn’t sound impressive enough, it eats ‘dead’ insect larva.

Sharks can feel living things, but the elephant nosed fish hunts creatures that don’t even have a life force to give them away.

Yes, they have a special sense that allows them to see dead things. Their Schnauzenorgan (we didn’t make that up, its a scientific term) are so sensitive they can find dead bugs in the muck in jet black waters. They can also determine distances, differentiate between substances, shapes and sizes. They know if something is alive, dying, or dead, which means they probably have Shrodinger’s Cat all figured out.

The elephant nosed fish can do all of this in absolute darkness with its electric chin wand. It’s a fish with super radar better than all our senses combined.

Bees

 

Bee in the snow

photo: Wikipedia

“No I’m not cute when I’m surrounded by snow…I’m Dying!”

Bee’s have fascinated people since the beginning of time. And why shouldn’t they. They’re awesome. They can communicate by dancing and they produce a sweet delicious super food that doesn’t ever go bad, even after a few thousand years. They can like fly around and sting people and stuff.

No creature on earth pollinates as many plants as bees do. They are absolutely vital to the reproduction of the worlds plants. And unfortunately cell phones are killing them off. But that’s only because these hive minded honey makers have a very special relationship with electricity.

Bees like many other creatures use the earths magnetic field for navigation. Bee’s will high tail it back to the hive before a storm breaks because they can sense the electromagnetic waves of the coming maelstrom.  It’s believed that cell phone traffic interferes with their navigation.

However, even more incredibly than the fact that our communications technology is destroying nature itself is the fact that bees have mastered the power of static cling. Bee’s are fuzzy. When they fly their wings generate a negative charge that their fur picks up. Pollen naturally has a positive charge. So when a bee pulls up to a positive flower pulsing with negative static electricity the pollen practically leaps
off.

Bee in Pollen

“Ugg, and I just got cleaned off too.”

How incredible is that? They’ve mastered the same technology that makes your socks stick to everything in the drier. They’re living electro magnets! Pick up you’re cell phone and call a friend. Let them know that bees are awesome…and that the phone call is probably contributing to their inevitable extinction.

 

Oriental Wasp

Oriental Wasp - Vespa orientalis

photo; Wikipedia Commons

 “Damn! Forgot the suntan lotion.”

Although Not as Dangerous As the The Giant Hornet (See Article: Thieving Bastards of Nature) Wasps are already pretty fearsome. They’re fast, quiet and their sting is pretty painful. But sometimes Mother Nature just can’t leave well enough alone. What could make the wasp even better? Green energy sources.

Researchers discovered that the oriental wasp is more active during mid day than other wasps. These bugs are usually very susceptible to high temperatures. They tend to shut down during the hottest part of the day so they don’t burn up. But not the oriental wasp. These ground nesting pests thrive on sunlight. In fact, they’re the worlds only truly solar powered animal. These sun wasps have a special brown band of cells on their backs that collect light and converts it to electricity

Oriental Wasp Vespa orientalis Voltron Electricity

“Transform into Omegawaspoid!”

 

And they’re unbelievably efficient. Most solar cells have a maximum absorption rate of around 25%. But the brown strip on the oriental wasp traps 99% of all the light that hits it. If it absorbed any more light it would be invisible (and then we’d be screwed). What does it do with all this electricity? It definitely helps them get going in the morning, but beyond that science isn’t really sure. It could help with metabolizing food, it might be for the creation of special enzymes or they might be using it to develop some sort of super bug weapon. Some sort of wasp Voltron or something…powered by solar energy.

 

Super Chicken

Lots of animals can sense the electro magnetic forces of the earth. It was discovered 40 years ago that migratory birds know which way the poles are. Whales use it too. Heck, it was recently discovered courtesy of Google Earth that cows only graze facing either north or south. It seems like most animals are in tune with forces beyond the keen of human senses. And that makes perfect sense.

We’ve got GPS and Mapquest to tell us where to go. But few of these nifty tools are available to the beasts of the air, land and sea. So if you’re a blue whale traveling from one pole to the other then ability to sense directions is invaluable. But chickens take magnetic sensitivity to the next level.

Chicken Crossing the road

Photo Thanks: Wikipedia

 

“Which is very helpful if you’re trying to cross the road.”

Yes, the chicken. That paragon of chubby, flightless laziness who would not survive a single day in the wild is in possession of one of the greatest senses in the world. They can actually ‘see’ the electro magnetic forces of the earth. They have GPS vision. Researchers have shown that chickens can correctly orient themselves under blue light but they loose all sense of direction under longer wavelengths like red.

In other words chickens are from Krypton. Their powers, like Super Man’s, cease to function under a red sun.

Super Chicken

 

Asian Super Ants

Another creature which is too badass to exist without calling into question the concept of a loving, merciful God is Lasius neglectus or the so-called Asian super ants. These lovable little buggers are drawn to electricity in a bad way. Their attraction to sparky is actually stronger than their need for food or drink or NSFW pictures. They attack electric circuits. Science really doesn’t have a clue as to why they do this. Maybe these ants detect electromagnetic waves to hunt their prey and our power lines confuse them. Maybe they’re just jealous of our technology (suck it ants). Or maybe they believe in an antie version of Valhalla and riding the electric snake is an express ticket to paradise.

Ant Head Formicidae

Photo Thanks: Wikipedia

“Give us the password to your router and no one gets hurt.”

 

Whatever the reason swarms of these critters have caused blackouts in Great Britain with their antics. Once one gets zapped an alarm pheromone is sent out that calls swarms of their brethren to attack. Millions of ants will immolate themselves sometimes leading to short circuits. And it gets worse. Asian super ant reproduces quickly and they don’t fight amongst themselves like some other species so they form gargantuan super colonies.

And don’t think only Britain is doomed. Other ants have been known to attack electricity, like the fire ants in this video:

Ant Video

 

If you’re under attack by ants and your phone keeps going dead (and you can’t find any bugs or eels to charge it with), you can check out an emergency mobile phone charger in the Phone Chargers section of our Gadget Shop

 

sources:

http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/fish/electric-eel/
http://www.thenakedscientists.com/HTML/content/latest-questions/question/1859/
http://www.frontiersinzoology.com/content/6/1/21
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/08/070821114339.htm
http://articles.cnn.com/2010-06-30/world/bee.decline.mobile.phones_1_bee-populations-cell-phone-radiation-ofcom?_s=PM:WORLD
http://www.asknature.org/strategy/ab1828fc6ae6030c71b72422fe6fa232#section
http://www.dailytech.com/Oriental+Hornet+Capable+of+Converting+Suns+Energy+into+Electric+Power/article20601.htm
http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn19709-zoologger-the-solarpowered-electric-hornet.html
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17575035
http://www.livescience.com/1652-chicken-crossed-road-directions.html
http://news.sky.com/home/world-news/article/15351611

 

 

MP3 Speakers – The Quest for the Ultimate External MP3 Speaker

Written by Monte Richard. Posted in Daily Daft, Gadgets

 

It’s an endless cascade of vibrating particles parading through space. It’s the roar and rumble of acoustic swells tossing on a vast, invisible ocean. It’s the modulation of harmonious airwaves resonating inside your head. It’s called ‘sound’ and you’re MP3 player is completely useless without it.

Without sound you can’t hear stuff and then you would never be able to enjoy your favorite Madonna album ever again. What you need are a good set of external speakers to let your songs roam free. Sure, you could use headphones, but then how are your family and friends supposed to rock out with you? How will acquaintances and total strangers in the checkout line at the grocery store know that you have wonderful taste in music? Fear not friends for we at DaftGadgets.com have got y64 c6vered.

If you have music stored on an electronic device that you’d like to listen to then look no further than our mp3 speakers section where we have every kind of sound delivery system you could possibly imagine and a few that defy all reason.

Keychain Minispeaker

iPod iPhone external speaker keychain

For shear portability the Keychain Minispeaker has no equal. First of all it’s a cube. Why is that good? Because boxy is beautiful.

No matter how you set it down it will sit there calmly and with quite dignity. The square is the most stable of all shapes. And then you can stack stuff on top of it if you need too. Get a bunch of them and build a little fortress of speakers. It can also act as an impromptu six sided dice if you find yourself in a game of Dungeons and Dragons. And it’s a keychain so you’ll never lose it or leave it behind. This small blocky resonator is also great if you need to hide a small unobtrusive speaker somewhere. Get a sound bite of a pissed off rattle snake then hide the Keychain Minispeaker on your partner’s side of the bed.

It’s strong enough to play your tunes and small enough to get you into a world of trouble.

Boom Box Speaker Cushion

cool boom box speaker cushion for ipod iphone or mp3 media player

Ever wish the novelty throw pillows on your couch could double as speakers? Do you have so much trouble waking up in the morning that you need the alarm right in your ear? Do you miss the eighties? Well then you need the Boom Box speaker Cushion!

Yes now you can jam in comfort with this plushy sound amplification device. And the electroluminescence equalizer panel on the front keeps time with the music. It even accepts cassettes! (No it doesn’t.) Blowing out your ear drums has never been so easy.

Just plug in your MP3 player, rest your head on the pillow and cue up your favorite heavy metal band. Or fall asleep at night listening to Beethoven and Mozart. Or beat your partner over the head to Michael Jackson’s song “Beat It”.  Pillow fights have never rocked so hard.

 

The Vibration Speaker
External Vibration Speaker for iPhone iPod or mp3 media player

You can make music emanate from common debris with the Vibration Speaker!

The Vibration Speaker hooks up to anything and turns it into an amplifier for your favorite songs. Plug it into an empty milk jug, pizza box, tin can or anything else you want to be your speaker. Each strange, disparate thing you attach it to will create a completely new and unique sound.

It’s perfect for exploring the musical spectrum. It’s also great if you want to convince your children that the box of Rice Crispies is haunted by malevolent spirits. The Vibration Speaker is portable, you can use it to turn the garbage can into a sub woofer and the whole thing comes in one of those old card board milk containers you used to get in the lunch room. You can’t go wrong with the Vibration Speaker/Pint of Milk.

Boombox Mini MP3 Speaker
boom box mini speakers for ipod and iPhone

Pimp out your MP3 player with the Boombox Mini MP3 Speakers.

Are you unreasonably proud of your collection of kangol hats? Do you still use words like boogie? Do you and your friends often engage in random break dance fights against roving bands of neighborhood thugs? Well unless you want to get served, you’ll need some serious speakerage.

Styled to look like tiny ghetto blasters from the 80’s, these speakers proudly announce to the world that your crew is the hardest around (sequined Michael Jackson glove sold separately). They run off of your devices power supply so there’s no charger or batteries. Just plug them in and go.

The boombox isn’t dead, it’s just smaller. And it’s small enough to dip it in gold to wear around your neck! Now that would be def.

Dancing Cat Speaker

If there’s anything the Internet has taught us it’s that we love cats. We simply cannot get enough of their furry antics. Well the Dancing Cat Speaker manages to capture all of the wuvable cutesiness of those frisky felines and put it to music.

This animatronic cat speaker dances and shimmies to your favorite tunes and it won’t scratch up the furniture. It’s perfect for cat lovers, kids of all ages and anyone who love creepy dancing anthropomorphic animals. Or maybe you just need a companion for your lonely pit bull.

Why have a speaker that just plays music when you can have all your jams accompanied by the hedonistic gyrations of a robotic stuffed animal?

Spring Speaker

External spring speaker for iphone or ipod

You’ve never seen a speaker like this before. If we hadn’t told you it was a speaker you probably wouldn’t have had any idea what it was. But that’s because it’s a Spring Speaker.

Put a spring in your beat with the revolutionary Spring Speakers! The accordion like construction of these unique speakers gives you a level of customization over your music that other mini sound systems simply cannot match. The ‘bellows’ design allows you to enhance the sound or amplify the base response simply by changing it’s shape. With other speakers you’re stuck with whatever they give you. If it sounds flat too bad so sad. But with the Spring Speaker too much treble is no longer any trouble at all (yes we know we’re reaching with that pun).

Don’t settle for mediocre sound quality. Now you can slinky your way to the perfect music setting with the Spring Speaker.

 

You can see the entire line up of External Speakers in the MP3 Accessories Section of our Gadget Shop.

Mobile Phone Cases – Smart Phone Cases Are The Paragon of MP3 Protection

Written by Monte Richard. Posted in Gadgets

Media Players, smart phones, MP3 devices and the like all have one thing in common. They scratch really friggin easily.

Apparently they make these things out of butterfly wings, moonbeams and the gently mocking laughter of wealthy business executives. Your sweet new tech is sure to get scuffed within the first few hours. After a week it’ll look ragged as hell. A months worth of moderate handling will render the fragile thing all but unreadable. Your shiny beautiful baby is going to get wrecked and then what will you do? Buy a new one of course! And that’s exactly what ‘they’ want. It’s all part of the plan. You are slowly Angry Birding your phone to death because technology companies need you to buy the newest model. Face it Joe Public, you are being scammed. Fortunately we, the benevolent philanthropists of Daft Gadgets have a solution. There is a revolutionary new metamaterial that has been specially designed to safeguard your beloved devices. They call it ‘plastic’.

Behold the greatest assortment of Media Player protection devices and mobile phone cases known to man.

1 – Waterproof Gadget Case

Waterproof Gadget Case

You probably won’t see it at first but to the right of that distractingly attractive young lady is a waterproof case for your gadgets. Why do you need to go swimming with a 400 dollar phone? Because someone may call or text or you might get like an email or something. I think the real question is why does communication have to end at the edge of the pool or the bathtub or water slide? Why can’t you check Facebook regardless of the amount of dihydrogen monoxide around or above you? And the best part about this particular model is that it looks big enough to hold a sammich. Now you can text in the hot tub, and no more soggy snacks!

2 – Desktop Phone Handset Accessory

Another attractive female for another attractive phone case (check it out, her nails are robins egg blue). The Desktop Phone docking station lets you convert your sleek, modern communications device into a clunky desktop office phone. Are you clumsy? Do you often drop your phone while talking on it? Perhaps you work at a lard factory or something. Or maybe you’re blond. Well klutz, if you can’t be trusted to handle an expensive multimedia device then the Desktop Phone is for you. Or use it to surf the web while still talking to your mom.

3 – iSwim water proof iphone and mp3 case

iSwim water proof ipod case

Why is there an MP3 player in a zip lock back blocking my view of the hottie? Because it’s the iSwim!

Now you can listen to music beneath the waves. Weather you’re a recreational swimmer who likes listening to relaxing music or you’re a shark hunter who rocks out while battling the toothy hounds of Poseidon the iSwim will protect your jams.

Great for the beach, pool, tsunamis, working in Waste Water Treatment Plants, you name it! Plug it in, strap it on and you’re ready to boogie. If you absolutely cannot survive without music in a damp environment then get the iSwim bag! And it’s designed for swimming so it won’t get tangled up while your doing the breast stroke or plummeting down that 100 mph water slide.

4 – Retro Cassette Cover for iPhone

Retro Cassette Case for iPhone

Where’s the girl? Why isn’t there a female in this picture? How do they expect to sell any kind of electronic accessory without a comely lass modeling next to it? That’s just poor marketing. Or maybe there was a chick but she didn’t like your mixtape (Wilson Phillips? Really?). But wait, that’s not a cassette. It’s the Retro Cassette Cover for iPhone. That’s right, now you can disguise your technological communications miracle as a continuous playing 90 minute role of magnetic tape!

Perfect for time traveling back to the 80’s or confounding your children.

“What’s a cassette?”
“It’s the 80’s version of a CD.”
“What’s a CD?”

5 – Chococase Chocolate iPhone 4 Case

Chococase for iPhone

Chocolate. You know you love it. Chocolate is probably the most beloved confectionery treat in all of history. So why don’t you coat you phone in it? Because that would be stupid. It would melt, everything would get all sticky and it would just be an absolute mess. But the Chococase Chocolate iPhone 4 Case is the next best thing.

This tough silicon case looks exactly like chocolate. Nobody will know the difference. Why is everyone looking at you funny? Probably because you’re talking into a candy bar. Who are you trying to text, Willy Wonka? And the best part is that when your done you can always eat the case! (No, it’s not real, please don’t eat it.)

What kind of person encases their phone in the Chococase? The kind who loves their device so much they’d eat it if they could (or the kind who likes to torment diabetics).

 

6 – Bottle Opener Case for iPhone 4

bottle opener iPhone case

What happens if you’re talking on the phone and you need to be drunk…immediately. We’ve all been in that situation. Maybe your ex is calling to say they gave your cat away. Maybe you’re boss is chewing you out for drinking on the job…again. Or maybe you just won the Noble Peace prize and you need to get your celebration on. Thats when you need Bottle Opener Phone case.

The Perfect gift for badass drunks, this is a device that says ‘Yes, I am successful and techno savvy, but I’m also ready to break open a brew and get sloppy at a moments notice.’ If you’re at a party it’s a great way to crack open a drink for the ladies. ‘Hey darlin, I’ll get that for you…and while I’ve got my phone out why don’t you give me your number.

Some might argue that putting a primitive pry bar on an expensive communications device is awesome. And we’d like to second that opinion.

 

 

Don’t forget to check out our complete line up of Mobile Phone Cases and MP3 Accessories available at Daft Gadgets

5 of Nature’s Little Guys That Don’t Give a #$%* How Big You Are

Written by Monte Richard. Posted in Daily Daft, Funny But True

By now everyone knows about the honey badger, one of the most fearless, aggressive animals in the world. And of course there’s the wolverine who, aside from being one of Marvel Comics biggest cash cows, is also a crazy weasel like creature that will attack bears and wolves just for laughs. These are fearless little animals that routinely go up against overwhelming odds. But those are the exceptions, right? Rarely in nature do you see the whole David and Goliath setup working out in favor of the underdog. Normally the big animals eat or at least squash the smaller ones. Usually. But sometimes Mother Nature pulls for the little guy. There are teeny animals out there that simply do not know the meaning of fear or common sense. A few of these munchkins will stand up and throw themselves headlong against behemoths…and win.

1. Epomis Beetle

photo thanks: wired.com/wiredscience

photo thanks: wired.com/wiredscience

The bug in the frogs mouth there is winning.”

Frogs are vicious eating machines.  Yes…frogs. They regularly consume scorpions, tarantulas, snakes, birds, you name it.  They’re deadly, agile and hungry as a hippo…only shorter.  If it fits in their mouth they’ll attack and eat it. But if there is one area where frogs really excel at it’s eating bugs.  What with the long tongue, the pouncing and the huge mouths, frogs were tailor made to destroy insects.  But apparently no body told that to the Epomis Beetle.  This small ground beetle will attack and devour frogs, lizards and salamanders at will.  How do we know this? Because scientist set up Thunder Dome like encounters where the beetle won 100% of the time.  That’s right, 100%! This isn’t a bug that ‘sometimes’ pulls out an upset. It’s a super beetle that apparently cannot lose. Here’s a horrifying video of a little beetle brutalizing an amphibian several times it’s size:

epomis beetle

Their strategy is to jump on the amphibian, which outweighs it by a factor of at least 10 and then they start biting it. Do they have some kind of poison? A paralyzing venom to subdue their hippity hoppity foes? No. They just bite him till he dies. That’s like leaping onto a bull and chewing on it till it stops kicking. And not only do the adult beetles eat frogs, but the larva do too. In fact the baby beetles dine almost exclusively on amphibians. And once again, they never lose. Scientists recorded one instance where a frog actually managed to swallow a larva for two hours…he still lost the fight and was consumed by the bug. How do you eat your opponent and still lose?!?

photo: Sciencenewsline.com

“How many lions has your newborn consumed?”

2. Kingbird

Groups of small birds have been known to mob larger predators. They’ll do this to chase them away from their nests. Seals do the same things to great white sharks. It’s a common practice in nature for a group of smaller animals to band together to harass a larger predator.  Kingbirds do something like that too, but with just a tad more “Hell Yeah!” mixed in.  A lone Kingbird will jump on the back of a hawk and peck the bird in the head mercilessly!  This little 2 oz menace will ride on the back of a friggin hawk! That’s like a human leaping onto a great shark and continuously bashing it in the skull with a pipe.

photo thanks: extras.mnginteractive.com

photo thanks: extras.mnginteractive.com

Mommie!!!”

He’s not flitting around harassing it. He’s not posturing or making threats. The Kingbird is riding it bareback and stabbing it in the head. How aggressive and/or mentally unbalanced do you have be to pull this off? The Kingbird will peck the poor hawk relentlessly until it leaves the area. And there’s nothing the alpha predator can do but scream and run. They don’t try to fight back. They don’t hang around plotting their revenge. They get the hell out of Dodge. But the real kicker is that hawks don’t even prey on Kingbirds!  They’re way too small. That’s right, the Kingbird is the bully here. He’s beating up the hawk for no reason other than he can.

3. Cookiecutter Shark

Sharks are scary it’s true, but they don’t indiscriminately attack people.  Typically shark attacks happen because they mistake humans for seals or all that flailing around in the water makes them think you’re wounded.  It really doesn’t want to eat you.  It’s not hunting you.  Honestly you probably don’t even taste good. In fact, Great Whites have been known to spit people out.  Sure, the odds are you’ll still die from the wounds, but that’s not the point. Sharks do not see us as food. They aren’t just mindless eating machines that the movies portray. They won’t just attack you for no good reason…except the cookie cutter shark.  It will straight up eat you.

Photo Thanks: ehay.deviantart.com/art/

Awww…look how cute!”

This two-foot monster will attack anything, people, dolphins, whales, submarines. It literally does not care who or what you are.  If you move you’re food.  And yes, it has actually been known to attack submarines. The navy has had to replace rubber seals and coatings after these vicious little monsters grubbed on them. It’s called a cookie cutter shark because it swims past at high speed ripping a chunk of flesh out with its melon baller like teeth. The only reason you don’t hear about more attacks on people is because they’re nocturnal hunters. So be careful if you go swimming in shark infested waters at night…although lets be honest, you probably deserve to be eaten anyway.

photo thanks: blogs.discovery.com

photo thanks: blogs.discovery.com

Awww…look how cute!”

4-Jack Jumper Ants

No one is surprised that ants will attack creatures several times their own size if their hive is threatened or if they have a team to back them up.  They routinely throw away their lives just because. But then some ants take it to the next level, like the Jack Jumper Ant of Australia and Tasmania.

BANZAII!!!

BANZAII!!!

This is the Jack Jumper of Australia and Tasmania.  He’s throwing himself at a huntsman spider who incidentally eats ants for breakfast.  The ant didn’t stumble upon the spider by accident. The spider didn’t come too close to the nest. This lone ant saw a spider and launched itself over a cliff to attack it. Why?  Because Jack Jumper Ants will attack anything on sight.  And unlike most ants they can see quite well and they can leap 20 cm into the air.  If you get within the range you’re food.  Period.  They are extremely aggressive and they will attack anything.  Also unlike most ants the Jack Jumper is very independent minded so they’re solo hunters.  This little insect can single handedly take down a bee or a wasp. It’s only one ant, but it’s wicked enough to capture and kill a friggin wasp on it’s own.

They’re also amongst the most poisonous creatures on earth.  They kill more humans in their native Tasmania annually than spiders, snakes, wasps, and sharks COMBINED.  Yes, this ant is the most deadly killer in an area renowned for its deadly killers. They sting their prey (or anything that’s pissing them off) repeatedly, releasing a venom that ignites the allergic reaction in most humans, leading to death if medical attention is not sought right away.  And don’t think thick clothing will protect you, they can sting right through it.

photo thanks: www.alexanderwild.com

photo thanks: www.alexanderwild.com

5 – Common Krait

“He always hogs the covers.”

Most snakes are kind of skittish.  They don’t have legs. They aren’t very tall. They know better than to hang out around larger creatures that can crush them.  The math is pretty easy on this one. If you’re a small animal that crawls around on your belly then stay away from things that can smash you. Even very poisonous snakes are reluctant to bite people because they themselves might be hurt in the process. That’s why rattlesnakes make all that racket. They’re saying ‘hey, I’m over here don’t stomp on me because I will totally kill you, ok.’ But the common Krait of India is either the bravest or stupidest snake in the world. It will actually climb in bed with people.

And this isn’t a case where the snake accidentally blunders into an empty bed because he thinks it’s a good place to hide. They will slither beneath the sheets while people are there. No one is exactly sure why they do this.  Maybe they’re cold.  Maybe they just like to snuggle.  Maybe it’s the fabric softener you use. Whatever the reason it’s a recipe for disaster when you consider that it’s more poisonous than a cobra and it’s bite is almost painless.  It’s not uncommon for people to die in their sleep. Sleep tight!

For a good nights sleep try our Memory Foam Sleep Mask with Stereo Input

Sources:
http://kalachkrait.webs.com/
http://animal.discovery.com/videos/wild-recon-common-krait-venom.html

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/270254/jack_jumper_ants_two_times_worsethan_pg2.html?cat=5
http://news.discovery.com/animals/cookiecutter-shark-scooped-flesh-out-of-human-swimmer-110705.html
http://www.livescience.com/14882-human-cookiecutter-shark-bite.html
http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/shark-attack-documented-cookiecutter-shark-attack-human-hawaii/story?id=14001710
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1216709/Pictured-The-plucky-little-kingbird-took-piggyback-predatory-hawk-lived-tell-tale.html
http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_13452818
http://kathleen-airdrie.suite101.com/eastern-kingbird-a-flycatcher-a184444
http://www.livescience.com/14254-beetles-eating-amphibians-predator-prey.html
http://news.discovery.com/animals/frog-legs-on-beetles-menu-110524.html
http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2011/09/epomis-beetle-amphibians/

5 Small Rodent-Like Creatures With Incredible Super Powers

Written by Monte Richard. Posted in Daily Daft, Funny But True

If you were going to be a super hero and you could chose the powers of any one animal what would you pick? Pumas can jump 15 feet straight up in the air. Electric eels can generate more volts than the socket in your house. Golden eagles have a crushing grip of almost 500 pounds per square inch. There are lots and lots of incredible animals with super powers. Tigers, bears, elephants, chihuahuas…the list goes on and on. But what about rodents and their kin? The small vermin of the world who lurk in the shadows of the larger, more illustrious members of the league of super animals. Surely you wouldn’t discount the awesome might of the naked mole rat or the cunning of the least weasel. What villain wouldn’t run from the astounding abilities of the shrew? You might be surprised to learn that the bucktoothed, pocket-sized pests of the world are in possession of some awesome abilities. Beware evildoers, lest you incur the wrath of…the rodent!

1 – Naked Mole Rat

Photo Thanks to Naked-Mole-Rat.org

“Evil has a new enemy…and he’s pink.”

Behold the naked mole rat of Africa in all its pink, wrinkly glory. What kind of mad skills could this freakish fleshy bratwurst with teeth possibly have you ask? Well, besides it’s incredible ability to be naked and repulsive and disgusting, it was recently discovered that Naked Mole Rats don’t feel pain like the rest of us. Their skin lacks several key neurotransmitters so neither acid nor chili peppers affects them. Apparently they aren’t bothered by itches either, which is just a bonus. Because they live underground there is a lot of excess carbon dioxide that builds up in their burrows making their environment inherently more acidic. They evolved a to turn off the pain that every other animal on the face of the earth feels. So if a villain comes at you with the whole ‘vat of acid’ routine you’re covered.

Photo thanks Livescience.com.

Photo thanks Livescience.com.

“Pffft…acid? Really? You’ll have to do better than that fiend.”

Naked mole rats also have an incredible set of chompers. They can move their top two teeth apart or together like chopsticks. And because they’re burrowing animals twenty five percent of their muscles are found in their jaw alone. That’s like taking all the power of one of your legs and putting it in your face. These critters have been known to chew threw cement walls! And to round out their skills they can run just as fast backwards as they can forwards and it seems they’re completely immune to cancer.

Photo Thanks to animals.Nationalgeographic.com

Photo Thanks to animals.Nationalgeographic.com

“Yes, it is possibly the most hideous mammal on the face of the planet, but that’s a small price to pay for the unearthly gifts of the naked mole rat…but no you’ll never get a date.”

Mole Rat Video:

mole rat video

2 – Hero Shrew

Photo Thanks Wikipedia.org

Photo Thanks Wikipedia.org

“It’s also known as the ‘armored shrew’ but ‘hero shrew’ just has more flair.”

If you’re going to fight against the forces of tyranny, oppression and general unnicedness then you’ll need some invulnerability. Once again, you might turn too more noted animals when looking for toughness. Sure, bears are pretty rugged. Elephants look like they could take quite a beating. Even innocuous critters like turtles or armadillos would appear on the surface to be better choices then rodents. It’s pretty much a general rule that if you step on a mouse or a rat it’s going to die. Unless that fuzzy little toe biter is the hero shrew of central Africa.

For some inexplicable reason these pint sized fur balls have super reinforced skeletons. They have a unique interlocking backbone, which is about 4 times larger than other animals, its size. Science isn’t really sure why but it probably has something to do with gamma radiation and super science gone awry. The end result is that a 160 pound man can stand on a 4 ounce hero shrew without making gooey little rat pancakes. In fact, there’s a tribe in Africa that does exactly this. They believe that this shrew has powers, which of course it does. Go lay beneath Godzilla’s heel and see how well you fair. The toughest animals in the world couldn’t stand up to the crushing forces that the hero shrew just shrugs off. Mouse traps? He laughs at mousetraps.

Image thanks thelifyouandineverknew.blogspot.com

Image thanks thelifyouandineverknew.blogspot.com

3 – Least Weasel

photo thanks wikipedia.org

“I hunger…for justice!”

The greatest power of all is often times just the will to fight on when things look bleakest. The courage to laugh in the face of fear and throw down no matter how over matched you might be. Sometimes outright scrappiness and an unyielding determination is all you need to carry the day. Does Batman have powers? Does Captain America need laser eyes? These mere mortals survive and overcome enemies much more powerful than themselves with skill alone. Well the least weasel is what you’d get if Batman and Captain America had a baby together that was somehow turned into an adorable ferret. These are some of the smallest mammalian carnivores on earth and yet they’re able to take down prey 5 to 10 times their size.

photo thanks wikipedia.org

photo thanks wikipedia.org

“Holy hell!”

They’ve been known to subdue full-grown rabbits. That’s like a man stepping into the ring with a two thousand pound moose bare handed. These are fearless little beasts who apparently don’t have the good sense to know that attacking animals ten times your size is a bad idea. No disk shield painted up in patriotic colors. No utility belt full of batarangs. Just teeth, skill and an irrepressible urge to beat other animals senseless no matter how big and bad they are.

4 – Northern Short-Tailed Shrew

Nothern Short tailed shrew

Photo thanks wildaboutnatureblog.com

“The furry shark of the insect world.”

All shrews are skilled hunters with voracious appetites. However, the most fearsome is the northern short-tailed shrew. First of all they have a supercharged metabolism. The human heart thumps out around 60 beats per minute at rest and maybe twice that when you’re excited or scared. The shrew’s heart fires at an incredible 1200 beats per minute, about double that of the average rodent. So basically take all the speed and hyperactivity of a common mouse and multiply it by 2. The shrew has ungodly speed and stamina but at a high cost. They’ve got to eat three times their weight in food daily or they will starve to death. They can die within hours.

Photo Thanks curiousnature.info

Photo Thanks curiousnature.info

“Strength…fading…must…find…Starbucks…need…latte”

Super speed is just the beginning though. This shrew is also one of a select group of mammals to have mastered echolocation, kind of like dolphins and bats. Since it hunts mostly underground it uses its sonic senses to navigate. But the shrew is doubly unique because it is also one of the few mammals known to be venomous. Its toxicity has been compared to friggin Gila monsters and cobras. It uses this poison to paralyze prey and bring it back to its nest. Bugs and lizards can stay alive for days in the pantry of the shrew. It’s got super speed, paralyzing poison, and echo location all in one snuggly little package. Mother Nature was not pulling any punches when she designed this thing. They probably spit fire too, so don’t get to close.

5 – Rat

Photo Thanks nationalgeographicstock.com

Photo Thanks nationalgeographicstock.com

“I am the darkness made flesh! Vengeance taken shape and substance!”

Ahhh the rat. Everyone knows that rats are one of the world’s premier survivors. They’re everywhere; in every city and town…you might have a rat or two in your house right now (maybe you’re married to one). But there are a few very good reasons why whiskers does so well. Besides being able to climb virtually anything and being extremely smart, rats have very flexible skeletons and can squeeze through a hole the size of a quarter. And they’re whiskers are nearly as sensitive as your hands. They can feel a speck on the wall in absolute darkness. With their skill and smarts they’re experts at breaking into just about anything.

But perhaps the rats greatest ability is the fact that they’re incredibly hard to kill…..

Rats can tread water for three days, fall 50 feet without injury and in laboratories rats have survived nearly twenty days straight without sleep. That means you can flush them down the toilet, throw them off a balcony or play really loud death-metal for a month and they won’t be fazed in the slightest. The rat’s greatest super power is the ability to cheat death. And if you think that’s a little far fetched then consider this: rats can survive electrocution. They have the ability to restart their own heart after chewing on electric wires. There are companies that build electric rat traps. These devices send out 8000 volts and they’ll do this ever few moments to make sure the vermin stays dead because otherwise it’ll just friggen get up and walk away. What mortal creature gets up after being hit by 8000 volts? That’s more than they use to kill prisoners!

Photo Thanks www.fischerenc.com

Photo Thanks www.fischerenc.com

“Don’t make me angry. You won’t like me when I’m angry.”

Sources:

http://theophanes.hubpages.com/hub/Interesting-Facts-About-Rats

http://www.livescience.com/2325-amazingly-sensitive-rat-whiskers-explained.html

http://www.buzzle.com/articles/electronic-rat-trap.html

http://science.discovery.com/tv/weird-creatures/top-ten/rats-4.html

http://discovermagazine.com/2006/dec/20-things-rats

http://animals.howstuffworks.com/mammals/shrew-info.htm

http://www.wild-facts.com/tag/shrew-facts/

http://www.wild-facts.com/tag/armored-shrew/

http://britishwildlifeandnature.wikia.com/wiki/Weasel

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Least_weasel

http://curiousnature.info/A1-Short-tailed%20Shrew.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Northern_Short-tailed_Shrew

http://www2.brevard.edu/jefrick/shrews.htm

5 Super Adorable Exotic Pets (who make absolutely terrible pets)

Written by Monte Richard. Posted in Daily Daft, Funny But True

5. Ferrets

Video: Ferrets


Photo Thanks: www.sheknows.com

Photo Thanks: www.sheknows.com

“Awww…he’s all tuckered out. Now he’s going to curl up in a nest of you’re socks he’s crammed behind the fridge.”

Ferrets, those mischievous masked scamps. They’re like slinky, sinuous, cats with comically long necks and bodies. These are affectionate, playful, inquisitive animals. If you get them descented they don’t smell too bad and they can be litter trained with some patience. In fact, a ferret or two would make an excellent addition to your home. Provided you can keep the darn things from killing themselves. Ferrets curiosity and energy mixed with the fact that they can squeeze into tight places pretty much guarantees that they’ll get themselves in trouble unless you ferret proof your house. If you thought babies were helpless and stupid, here are just a few of the many many things you need to do to keep your suicide prone weasel safe.

Photo Thanks: Critteristic.com

Photo Thanks: Critteristic.com

“They’re dead…but it’s still cute.”

They love holes, so plug up everything. Don’t assume your ferret hasn’t crawled into your vacuum cleaner or your drain pipes (don’t turn on the garbage disposal!). Rocking chairs and fold out beds are pretty much blunt guillotines, so get rid of them. Keep your toilet bowl lid down or they’ll drown themselves. And they love to eat odd things, so watch what you leave laying around. Vets have pulled foam ear plugs, paper clips, erasers, rubber bands, mousepad pieces, Velcro, calculator keypads, stockings out of their stomachs. Always check the dirty clothes before throwing them on to wash because rodent blood will absolutely ruin a blouse. Make sure your medicine is kept in childproof containers and is out of reach (wait…seriously?). You should also probably look into getting your ferret a bright yellow helmet with a warning label that reads ‘special’.

4. Kinkajous

Video: Kinkajou

photo thanks: blue-n-gold.com

photo thanks: blue-n-gold.com

“The cutest animal ninja of them all.”

This ferret-monkey-bear looking thing is not only cute, but also very playful. The Kinkajou is energetic, loves to leap and climb, has a prehensile tail like a monkey and will use you as it’s personal tree. It also has a six-inch long tongue. Which is all awesome right? And it’ll bite the ever-loving hell out of you if you mess up, just like it did to Paris Hilton…twice.

Even though their diet consists mainly of fruit they have extremely sharp teeth and a strong bite. Scientists don’t really know why this frugivore even needs friggin vampire-like incisors. What kind of fruit can’t be taken out with anything less than fangs? Regardless many owners swear that these creatures are gentle and affectionate. Just as long as you don’t crowd them too much, don’t make too many sudden movements, respect their territory and don’t wake them up during the day. It’s also recommended that let them have their own room cuz they need lots of space. You should probably give strong consideration to turning your entire life over to your Kinkajou. It would make things easier. (So yes, it’s exactly like being married.) Follow these simple guidelines and you’ll come away mostly unscathed…probably. They also live anywhere from 20 to 40 years, so be prepared to have this hyper, saber-toothed squirrel-chimp around forever. Oh, and in at least three states Raccoon Roundworms have been discovered in the feces of Kinkajou pets…which can be fatal to humans…and Kinkajou’s can’t be litter trained (or any kind of trained actually).

3. Owls

Owl Video

Because chicks dig vicious killer bird that can maim and/or disfigure you for life.”

Wook, it’s a soft fwuzzy widdle owl. He’s so tiny and fruffy and wovable. I wants one! Friggin Harry Potter’s got an owl mom. Why can’t I have one? Well first of all it’s illegal. But who cares right? People still keep these things. But there are other reasons that should make you reconsider adopting one of these plushy raptors. Mostly, it’s because they’re birds of prey, so besides having razor sharp claws and beaks that can cut you, your furniture and virtually anything else in your house to shreds, they’ll also see any other pets as potential food. We can’t stress enough how powerful and sharp and their talons are. They can cut you to the bone just by being playful. Some of the larger owls have a grip of up to two hundred pounds per square inch. Humans can barely squeeze for twenty.

Photo Thanks www.3news.co.nz

Photo Thanks www.3news.co.nz

“You’re perfectly safe as long as you don’t stop petting him.”

And if the bird has imprinted on you then it’ll think you’re its mate. Which basically means it owns you and it’ll attack anyone who comes near you. I hope you don’t plan to date. During mating season it’ll hoot and screech all night long too. And you’d better darn well hoot back and you’d better act like you like it…if you know what’s good for you. And they won’t like anyone else but you which means only you can feed them, so no vacations away from home…ever. They also have special diets which consists of whole animals. They will also throw up everything they don’t digest, like livers and intestines, so be prepared to clean that loveliness up.

2. Slow Loris

What is a Slow Loris? Watch these videos first:  Slow Loris

Photo Thanks: Cuteoverload.com

Photo Thanks: Cuteoverload.com

“Feed me! The cuteness compels you.”

Holy heck on a stick!!! That has got to be the cutest thing on the face of this forsaken mud ball we call earth! That precious guy is packing some epic, weapons grade adorableness. That innocent, wide-eyed little bugger is just begging to have the heck cuddled out of him. He’s such a slow, itty-bitty monkey. It’s like a tiny, fuzzy old man. Why doesn’t everyone have one of these sweet little raccoon sloths? Because they have poisonous elbows (no, seriously). The Slow Loris has special glands in their elbows which secret a toxin that causes rapid swelling and intense pain (it’s all true, why would we make this up?). They lick their elbows so that they’re bite can deliver this venom to the bloodstream (go ahead, try to lick your elbow).

photo thanks: weird-bizzare-creepy.tumblr.com

photo thanks: weird-bizzare-creepy.tumblr.com

“This may look like a ‘don’t beat me’ pose, but in reality it’s getting its elbows in attack position.”

Owning one is illegal, because they’re endangered in the wild. Their poison also makes them smell like sweat socks. They like to bed down in dirty cloths hampers (cuz it smells like home probably). They have extremely sharp teeth and despite their slow appearance they can strike like lighting. The poison doesn’t kill, but it causes painful throbbing and swelling.

1. Sugar Gliders

video:Sugar Gliders

photo thanks: www.washingtonpost.com

photo thanks: www.washingtonpost.com

It’s wearing a bow! She’s a proper little lady! What…why is my arm wet?”

These lovely flying squirrel-possums are small, cute and they love to play and run around. And the best part is they can glide! You and a friend can toss one around in the back yard like a baseball (please don’t). What could be more fun and adorable than an aerial hamster with stripes like an English badger? And then it pees on you. As a matter of fact, it’ll probably do more than pee. Sugar gliders have no real control over when they defecate. When they wake up, they pee. When they eat, they pee. When you take them out to play, they pee. But don’t worry, that probably means he likes you.

photo thanks: www.dailymail.co.uk

photo thanks: www.dailymail.co.uk

The fur bat strikes!”

Another great thing about sugar gliders is that they suck the juices out of their food. They don’t really ‘eat’ fruit. They just squeeze it to a mushy pulp and then they spit it out…all over the wall, the floor, the ceiling. These little critters are renowned for making a huge mess. They can also smell strongly (but maybe that’s because it’s covered in urine 24 hours a day). And don’t think you can get just one. Sugar gliders are social creatures and they need lots of attention or they might freak out and attack you or themselves or just straight out die. (Did we mention that in the wild they chew threw bark so you’re skin is laughably easy for them to peal away?) It’s best if you have two so they don’t get lonely. So that’s twice the mess, twice the smell but also twice the fun!

Oh, and they bark all night long cuz their nocturnal animals. Sweet dreams.

If you are looking to block out the insane barking of a sugar glider, or just the voices in your head you can try the memory foam sleep mask with headphone input from DaftGadgets.com

Sources:

Ferrets

http://www.seniorlink.co.nz/interests/pets/ferret.shtml
http://www.all-about-ferrets.com/ferret-proofing.html

Kinkajou

http://www.jandaexotics.com/Kinkajou.html

Owls

http://www.festivalofowls.com/owlsaspets.htm
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/owls-as-pets.html

Slow Loris

http://www.kingsnake.com/toxinology/loris/slow_loris.html

Sugar Gliders

http://www.sugarglider.com/

http://factoidz.com/why-is-my-sugar-glider-throwing-his-food-all-around/

7 Gadgets To Help You Torment Your Coworkers

Written by Monte Richard. Posted in Daily Daft, Gadgets

Maybe you’ve got the best job in the whole wide world. Maybe you get paid six figures to rub edible body lotion on scantily clad super models. Maybe you’re a world-renowned rocket surgeon with a tattoo of a flaming tornado carved into your tongue. Or maybe you just work in an office performing tasks so menial, repetitive and pointless that they are destroying your very soul. Sometimes work is fulfilling, uplifting, exhilarating. And sometimes you hate your fellow coworkers with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns. Fear not my friend. We at Daft Gadgets have got you covered. If the day ever arrives were you win the lottery and/or just outright snap then we’ve got a few things that might interest you.

1 – Blatantly Obnoxious Gadgets

At this point it doesn’t matter if you get fired right? You’re either going to be rich, or you’re on your way to a much better job, or you’ve decided to embrace the philosophies and practices of homeless vagabonds. So if getting canned is no big deal then we recommend going all out with blatantly obnoxiousness. Step one: Do you like popcorn?

American Originals Popcorn Maker Banner

Pop Corn Maker

The American Originals Popcorn Maker is a great way to make lots of racket. We suggest putting one on your desk so that you can enjoy the fluffy buttery goodness whenever you want. The innocuous little seeds of corn will detonate once they are subjected to the near super nova-like heat and pressure inside this machine. It is sure to distract everyone around you and it makes a great snack too. You can’t lose! And don’t underestimate the annoyance factor of dropping white flaky crumbs all over the floor or on everyone’s paperwork and then leaving butter-flavored grease on every surface and doorknob you come into contact with.

Couple that with the Da Vinci Catapult and you’ll be able to launch corn kernels anywhere in the office with great speed and precision. It’ll send a pile of seeds hurling up to fifteen feet! You can also use paper clips, breath mints and old chewing gum.

Da Vinci Catapult Kit

Da Vinci Catapult

If you’re boss asks why you have a medieval siege weapon on your desk tell him it was the last thing your father gave you before he died tragically and that it inspires you to reach for excellence in all things (wipe away a tear at this point). Then as he turns away in defeat, hit him on the butt with corn.

2-Gadgets for Taking Out Your Boss

If there is one person who has worked extra hard to make you feel especially insignificant and useless it’s your boss. Something will have to be done about him. This may be a bit elaborate but that’s ok. He’s worth it.

First you’ll need some compromising images of him (or his unreasonably hot wife). How can you obtain these without getting caught and/or going to jail?

Mini Camera

Stick Video Camera with Audio_Mini DVR2

This mini-dvr video camera stick can record about two hours of footage. Its small size means you can hide it just about anywhere. Stick one in his office and try to get a shot of him picking his nose or adjusting himself. Maybe you know he’s having a secret tryst with his secretary after hours. Maybe he looks at dirty pictures on his computer. He’s a pretty sleazy individual. You’ll catch him doing something. And no, you probably shouldn’t put this camera in the bathroom because that’s just wrong…but then again he did pass you up for that 50 cent pay raise last quarter.

Once you have the picture you’re going to need a place to display it where everyone can get a good long look at it. That’s when you’ll need the help of a friend and the Party blimp.

party Blimp

This three foot long remote control blimp is specially designed to display messages and/or photos. With a range of 300 feet, get a friend to hide in his car or in a neighboring building and have him hover the Party blimp (with humiliating picture attached) outside the windows of your office. Maybe your boss is going to be in a board meeting today. Perhaps he’s with a new customer. With a good picture and fair weather you’re sure to pay your supervisor back for that time he stole your tuna salad out of the fridge. And the best part is that he’ll never know it was you! We’d also like to recommend that you have your mini dvr stick record his inevitable melt down too. Then you can use the audio to make Christmas cards with our voice recording picture post cards. Don’t let these cherished moments pass you by.

Voice recording post cards

picture postcards

3 – Gadgets for Bringing Your Nemesis To Their Knees

There’s one person in the office that you especially hate and he or she very likely feels the exact same way about you. The constant backstabbing, the brown-nosing, the condescending manner in which they speak and act. This person is a jacktard of epic proportions and he must be humbled.

PC Prankster

pcprankster

You can set the PC Prankster to interfere with his mouse at random intervals. Plug it into a free USB port on the back of his computer and then just walk away. He’ll be fighting with it all day long. Before the tech guy comes you’ll need to remove it though. Then put it back in later on. You need your computer repairman to think this guy is crazy so that he just stops coming. At that point you can deploy the most devious part of your plan. Magna Putty.

Space Magna Putty

Space Magna Putty

All electronics now-a-days run off of magnets. That’s why it’s really important that you keep them away from your computer, flash drives or cell phones. Unless you’re trying to sabotage some jerkwad who has made your life miserable. Then you want to put magnets everywhere and the best way to do that is with moldable, form fitting Magna Putty. You’ll need a lot of this wonder goop. You want to coat the bottom of your nemeses computer with it. That’s the last place anyone will look. It may take a while to find the right amount. Just keep adding until his machine starts to freak out. And the best part is that technical support will take their sweet time coming to fix the problem because they think he’s just a complainer. And god forbid he ever leave his smart phone hanging around. Then you can just pop the back off, and stick some Magna Putty behind the battery. No more Angry Birds for you buddy! Put Magna Putty under his monitor and stick it on the underside of his drawers where he stores his electrical devices. Saturate his desk with so much magnetism that nothing will ever work right again. And if someone ever does find the putty they probably won’t even know what it is. They’ll just blame him for being a slob. After all, he’s got all those popcorn crumbs on the ground.

The 7 Most Insane Festival Battles On Earth

Written by Monte Richard. Posted in Daily Daft, Funny But True

Some parties are just better than others. Sure Mardi Gras in New Orleans is fun what with the bead throwing and all the craziness associated with it. But how about the worlds biggest food fight? Or a festival where people try to set you on fire? This is a list of the greatest annual festival on earth where people battle each other.

Here they are, the largest, the most incredible and the most dangerous mock combat engagements from around the globe. If you go, make sure you bring your grrr face and a helmet, because things are about to get insane.

1 – La Tomatina

The Largest Food Fight In The World

No, this is not an orgy or a scene from the vampire movie

 

Photo from wikipedia

“And you thought Spain’s water parks were awesome.”

Often mistaken by vampires as a really big blood orgy, La Tomatina the largest annual food fight in the world. If you have severe tomato allergies then August 29th, Buñol, Spain is the perfect place to commit suicide. This little town of nine thousand swells to nearly 50 thousand celebrants for the messiest food fight on earth. The whole town shuts down and the streets run red with the life juices of this popular vegetable (fruit?). There are literal rivers of marinara after it’s all over.

The tomato festivities begin at 11 am with the launching of five tomato-packed rockets. Yes, the Spanish have developed tomato based artillery. Next someone from the crowd has to climb a greased poll to get the ham at the top (because you’ve got to have something to go with all of this ketchup, right). Then, for the next 2 hour everybody goes absolutely insane hurling 250,000 pounds of tomatoes at each other.

 

throwing tomatoes from a truck

“At least there weren’t as many casualties as last year!”

The rules for the tomato fight are simple enough: no ammo other than tomatoes is allowed, all tomatoes must be squished before being thrown, and you have to fling these crimson wads of mush at everyone you see. No one knows exactly why the festival started, but it’s taken on a life of its own and is now copied in a few other tomato crazed cities around the world. After the two hours is up the fire trucks role in and they start hosing down the whole town. Although can you ever really wash away the smell of a metric ton of tomato paste? You should probably wear a mask if you go to this one since tomatoes are acidic and can irritate the eyes. And bring some crackers because there going to be a whole lot of soup.

Here’s the Video:

2 – Batalla del Vino:

Wine Wars


photo thanks to Wikipedia
photo thanks to Wikipedia

“We hope you look good in mauve”

Whereas most festivals in Spain are devoted to a particular saint, Batalla del Vino which takes place on June 29th exists for a whole different reason. There was a land dispute between two villages in Spanish wine country near the town of Haro over a hundred years ago. Apparently things got pretty heated and they tried to kill each other with the only weapon available to them…delicious red wine. The conflict didn’t go away over the years but it became less violent while still retaining the whole drown each other in wine thing. Whats unique about this event is that the purpose is not to get drunk on wine, but to soak each other with the grapey libations. It’s like a water fight where the water has been replaced by ten thousand gallons of happy juice.

haro wine festival hose

“The wine fire hose……….. reason number 211 why festivals in Europe rule.”

Needless to say don’t wear anything you don’t want permanently stained pinkish purple. And you might want to invest in some sort of liquid dispensing device. People come to this event ready to do combat with just about everything you could imagine. Squirt bottles, leather water skins, water guns, buckets, cups, backpack insecticide sprayers (yeah, just rinse out the poison and fill it with wine, its all good) and fire trucks. Yes, they’ve rigged fire trucks to spray fermented grape juice. How awesome is that! Bring the kids as hosing down people in alcohol is a family event in Spain. They don’t even card.

Here’s the video:

grape jelly

“And the streets are paved with grape jelly!”

3 – Ivrea Carnevale:

The Battle of The Orange

photo hyd-masti.com

photo hyd-masti.com

“Kill the Oppressors”

While La Tomatina may be the largest food fight in the world the title of most brutal probably goes to the Carnival in Ivrea Italy, which is held 40 days before lent. For this one standard swim goggles may not be enough since you’re going to get beat with oranges. The battle consists of the crowd attacking groups of well armored men on floats with the citrus fruits. And the floats are pulled around the streets by teams of horses, so the battle changes as they move around the city. You also probably have a chance of seeing someone get trampled to death because a miss thrown fruit ticked off a horse. It’s pure orangy chaos.

It’s supposed to be a recreation of a battle that no one is sure actually happened.

photo hyd-masti.com
photo hyd-masti.com

“Yes, its that serious”

The peasants revolted against their cruel masters and beat them to death with fruit. Actually no, the oranges are supposed to represent stones and arrows. Even still, oranges hurt, so you’d better dress accordingly. And they say it’s not really a waste because these are excess oranges that the European Union forces them to destroy anyway. I guess because there are too many oranges in the world and we’ve solved world hunger while while none of us were looking.

In the end there’s so much orange on the ground they have to get slow plows to clean the streets. It used to be that people could chuck oranges from the windows of the houses surrounding the narrow streets. But apparently that was too brutal on the tourists (pansies) so now you have to either be on the ground or on a float to throw an orange. But even still, it’s a friggin orange. That’s like throwing a softball at someone. At least you won’t get scurvy though.

Heres the video:

photo hyd-masti

photo hyd-masti

“Face shields are optional, because really, it’s just fruit…right?”

4 – Wasserschlacht Battle:

Garbage Fight

 

Photo spiegel.de

“Take the train. It’s safer. Probably.”

The Wasserschlacht is one of the more recent festivals, but it is no less crazy than any of the others on this list. In 1998 in Berlin German the districts of Friedrichshain and Kreuzberg were joined together governmentally. Unfortunately these two sections of town don’t get along very well. To show their dissention the disgruntled citizen staged a water fight on a bridge joining the two sides. However, over the years it has escalated somewhat. Now the Wasserschlacht has turned into more of a dirty food fight with some arson mixed in for good measure.

Although officially only flower and water and foam swords and shields are supposed to be the allowed participants on both sides have begun stepping up their game. First they added eggs and rotted fruit. But now you can get hit with anything from stinky fish to used diapers. No one has flung a dead cat yet, but its coming. And the event has been known to get a little out of hand at times.

Photo spiegel.de

Photo spiegel.de

“Someone is letting all this good trash go to waist.”

Floats and vehicles have been set ablaze by the overtly zealous combatants. It had gotten so bad that one year the city canceled the event. When the police blocked the rioters…I mean ‘participants’ the got pelted with all the ammunition instead, cuz don’t you dare deny the Germans their god given rights to fling refuse at one another. It has since started up again (sponsored by a garbage company of course) with each year getting more rambunctious than the last…of course. When can you get in on the action? It’s generally held on the last Sunday of August.

Heres a video:

photo pics24h.com

photo pics24h.com

“The fire and the gas masks add a nice apocalyptic feel to the festival.”

Garbage Day in 1980s Hollywood

Garbage Day in 1980s Hollywood

The USA version of the Garbage day fight is a little different

5 –Nozawa Onsen Dosojin Matsuri:

The Drunken Arson Festival

Photo panoramio.com/photo/18425502

Photo panoramio.com

“Do you think we’ve got enough fire wood? When this thing goes up it needs to be seen from space.”

The little village of Nozawa Onsen in the mountains of Japan takes their fire festival seriously. Originally began as an invocation to the gods for a good harvest, health and good fortune in the coming year, it has been expanded to include a supplication to the heavens for a good ski season as well. Taking place on January 15th every year, the festival is staged by men aged 42 and 25 which they believe are the “unlucky ages”. They don’t go into an explanation about why this is so, but it’s probably because men around 25 are just starting to get married (and instead of saying ‘hey you just lost all your freedom’ the Japanese call it ‘unlucky’) and men around 42 are just starting to get divorced (lucky for you she’s only taking half of everything).

photo snowjapan.com

photo snowjapan.com

So they build a two-story shrine made out of wood which the town will attempt to burn down. The 25 year olds defend the bottom with sticks and the 42 year olds sit on the top and get drunk. Actually everyone is drunk, but it seems that the 42 year olds only job in this festival is to get drunk and egg on the crowd…who are also drunk. Because trying to set each other on fire sober would just wrong.

photo snow japan

photo snow japan

“Probably the only place in the world where its perfectly legal to hit someone in the face with a torch.”

First the little kids are given flaming torches and told to run over and try to set that tower on fire thereby immolating those nice inebriated men protecting it. Once the rugrats have had their shot at manslaughter the entire town tries to set the shrine ablaze. The battle is fierce and cuts and burns are the order of the day. The outnumbered defenders try to bat the torches away while the rest of the town folk burn them. Yeah, it’s totally fair. And of course this is done at night in the snow and everyone is drunk. In fact, there are designated sake men whose job it is to walk around and offer people drinks.

After about four hours of everyone trying to kill one another the shrine is vacated and they set it on fire. The dry wood, likely infused with the drunken sweat and breath of its defenders goes up in a blaze of glory as an offering to the gods. The dying embers, kicked up by the mountain winds swirl about smoldering in peoples cloths. And then everyone passes out drunk, burnt and bloody. And if the gods are pleased then the skiers will come back next year.

photo nozawa-onsen.com

photo nozawa-onsen.com

“The guys at the top are tasked with the difficult job of getting really wasted and snarky.”

6 – “Las Bolas de Fuego”:

Fireball Festival

 

photo rawmeat.com

”And you thought Mortal Kombat was just a video game.”

Lots of places have festivals where weird stuff gets thrown through the air. There’s a festival in Spanish town of El Puig has their annual Batalla de la Rata Muerta where they’ll throw dead rats at each other. In Laza, Spain for Entroido they’ll get mud balls full of live ants and toss that into the crowd for fun. But none of those can hold a candle to Las Bolas de Fuego in Nejapa El Salvador for sheer craziness. They throw fireballs at one another…seriously.

In 1922 an erupting volcano forced the people of Nejapa El Salvador to evacuate.  As they were leaving, locals saw great balls of fire spewing out of the volcano, and believed their patron saint, San Jeronimo, was actually fighting the devil for them. So to commemorate this event the locals stage a fight where they hurl friggin fireballs at each other.  Not fireworks.  Not balls of paper painted to look like flames.  They wad up old rags, dip them in kerosene for a month and set them ablaze.  The city divides itself into two teams.  Those guys on that side of the street verses everyone else on this side.  Equipped with water soaked gloves, cloths, masks, war paint, and massive kohones the festival participants then proceed to lob genuine, honest to god fireballs at one another!

Is it dangerous?  No, of course not. Sure, people have gotten burned and some have died but nothing major.  It’s just a solidified blob of plazma after all. Where’s the harm in tossing these things around crowded streets. And considering that this is El Salvador, getting hit in the face with a burning sack of kerosene is probably not your biggest worry.  What other nation would have a firebomb festival right in the middle of town?

Here’s the Video:

7 – Takeuchi Matsuri:

The Beat Each Other With Sticks Festival

photo pref.akita.jp

Valentines day in Japan must be particularly brutal, but cause the very next day is the Takeuchi Matsuri. What does Takeuchi Matsuri mean? ‘Get The Biggest Stick You Can Find And Beat Your Neighbor Senseless’. That’s not an exact translation of course but it’s pretty close…probably. The day after Valentines Day men in towns all across Japan get liquored up, grab a twenty-foot length of bamboo and proceed to beat the snot out of their rivals. The towns divide into North vs South. The combat is three rounds and the police and medical teams are there to make sure the festivities don’t get out of hand. But what could possibly go wrong? It’s just a couple hundred inebriated neighbors pummeling one another with massive poles and sometimes fists.

photo japanprobe.com

photo japanprobe.com

It is believed that if the North wins, a good harvest of rice is promised, and if the South wins, the price of rice will go up. Kind of like our ground groundhog day, but with giant clubs and a hefty butt whoopin. So yeah, these guys are actually fighting for something…kind of. Where as the rest of the festivals on this list are just for fun or because you’re crazy, the Takeuchi Matsuri decides the fate of rice…but not really. So you can bet these people play for keeps. When you get there get a helmet, a thick jacket and guzzle down as much sake as you can to numb the pain because getting tagged with a twenty-foot stitch is going to smart.

But most of all have fun!

photo akitajet.com

photo akitajet.com

If you have a crazy Festival or Celebration Planned, check out our Cool Water Lanterns at DaftGadgets.com

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