Hard to Kill – The Top 5 Most Unkillable People in History

Written by Jason Scott. Posted in Daily Daft, Funny But True

Many of you may have heard the story of how a saloon owner named John Schrank was instructed by Ghosts (specifically the ghost of William Mckinley) to assassinate Teddy Roosevelt. He attempted to do this by shooting Roosevelt in the chest before his famous speech in 1912. Those of you who know the story, know that Teddy decided to deliver the 90 minute speech anyway, even though there was a bullet lodged in his chest.

This gives him a very honorable mention in the Daft Gadgets list of Nearly “unkillable” people. However some people took more than one measly bullet (Leon Trotsky got an Ice Axe plunged into the back or his skull before getting pissed off and spitting in his would be assassin’s face!).  And others, who exited in a blood bath left there bodies, not because they were dead.  But because, they didn’t want to hang around in their now mutilated bodies.

What can we say, we at Daft Gadgets really favor the stories of those who are bad ass enough to face certain death just to see how long they stand up against impossible odds.

Kind of like the final moments of this guy:

Which brings us to our first example…………………

1. Pablo Escobar

Photo Thanks Wikipedia

Photo Thanks Wikipedia

Head of the Medellin Drug Cartel back in the days of Miami Vice, Escobar quickly became public enemy number 1 in the United States, so much in fact that a special task force made up from U.S. Delta Force operatives, SEAL Team 6 and Centra Spike was commissioned to take him out with the help of the Colombian police task force known as “Search Bloc”.

Upon tracking him down, Escobar (who we can only assume had seen the 1983 movie “Scarface”), stayed true to his words: “I prefer to be in the grave in Colombia than in a jail cell in the United States” and began his final stand in Tony Montana like fashion.

Jumping from rooftop to rooftop, Escobar took a hailstorm of bullet wounds to his legs and body, only to finally be taken out by a kill shot through his ear. Like the unsinkable Bismark under British Bombardment, it was unclear whether the fatal wound on the unkillable drug lord was self inflicted, or if it came from one of the members of the Search Bloc.

It took over 50 years to find the scientific evidence that the Germans sank their own unsinkable ship, and without cryogenic freezing or inception like technology, it is unlikely that we will every know for sure regarding Escobar.

2. Fidel Castro:

Photo Thanks Wikipedia

Photo Thanks Wikipedia

“Fight Against Impossible Odds and Win” – Poster Translation

The movie titled 638 ways to Kill Castro got its name for a reason. According to Fabian Escanlante (Castro’s official life protector), 638 is the number of times the CIA and other Castro haters have attempted to assassinate Castro. The documentary goes into detail about plots using exploding cigars, poison pills, La Femme de Nikita type hit women, fungal infected scuba suits, Mafia style shootings, a poison syringe in a fountain pen, and even a radio station rigged with noxious gas!

Yes Fidel Castro is probably the most notorious assassination escape artist in history, known from the world of politics to pop culture. Of course some assassination plans are better than others.

COTTON: Fine, you sissy girls, I’ll row to Cuba myself! Hell, I’ll swim to Cuba with this wrench between my teeth! Then I’ll pose as a beautiful female plumber, and when the toilet clogs at the Presidential palace, I’ll… I’ll… oh. I just wanted to kill Castro!
HANK: I know, Dad. I know.

– King of the Hill.

3. Rasputin.

Photo Thanks Wikipedia

Photo Thanks Wikipedia

He Doesn’t look so tough in the picture?

As the German disco group Boney M sang, Rasputin was a hard person to kill. With enemies all around from his drinking and lusting for power, Rasputin had more than one attempt on his life, on more than one occasion.

His Doctrine was to attain divine grace through sin, which basically means he started a religion that called for you to get drunk, have lots of sex, and take bribes. Generally the church would be able to do away with such a compelling competitive religion, but unfortunately for them, Rasputin was protected by the Russian Queen, who believed he mad mystic healing powers to treat her son.

This protection however, only went so far.

photo thanks wikipedia

photo thanks wikipedia

At a certain point, it was decided that Rasputin needed to go.

On June 29th, 1914. After receiving a telegram (no not a singing telegram like in the movie clue) A former prostitute turned religious disciple (named Khionia Guseva) attempted to redeem herself with god by slicing open Rasputin’s abdomen, leaving his exposed entrails hanging out. Upon doing so she was heard to scream “I have killed the antichrist!”

Of course minor wounds like having your entrails pulled out was not enough to stop someone like Rasputin.

He would recover from this injury only to later be poisoned at a at Moika Palace with cyanide laced wine and cakes. After devouring them all and having the audacity to still live, Prince Yusupov shot him in the back with a revolver and left him for dead. Yusupov later returned for his coat only to see Rasputin spring back to life and begin strangling him. Luckily other murderers were around and were able to shoot him dead again with 3 gun shot wounds.

As they eerily stepped towards his fallen body, they noticed that he was still trying to get back up. It was at this point that they began clubbing him to death. Not taking any chances they wrapped and bound his body in a carpet and threw him in the freezing Neva River where he managed to break free from his bonds, but drowned before he got out.

Is it any wonder they called him the Mad Monk? Going through an ordeal like that would send the Dali Lama to Anger Management

Photo Wikipedia

Photo Wikipedia

“I’m only happy because I still have my entrails inside me”

 

4. Jim Bowie

photo wikipedia

photo wikipedia

Some of you may be familiar with the Bowie Knife. Its called that because Jim Bowie became one badass son of a bitch every time he had one in his hand. The most famous time occurring during a friendly “Duel” that would later become known as “The Sandbar Fight”

On September 19, 1827 Bowie attended a duel on a sandbar outside Natchez Mississippi. When neither duelist managed to hit one another with their gun shots, spectators Cuny and Crain (who were also at odds with each other) decided that it would be a good time to settle their score as well. After all, it would be a shame to get all dress up for a duel and not see any blood.

With that Crain fired a shot at Cuny, but accidentally hit Bowie in the hip, sending him to the ground. Bowie then arose to his feet, drew his knife, and charged at Crain. Unfortunately, Crain managed to smash his gun over Bowies face as it broke into pieces and sent Bowie to the Ground. It was then that Wright (one of Crain’s supporters) shot at Bowie while he was on the ground, and then plunged his sword into Bowie’s chest.

Of course this just pissed Bowie off…

As Wright was fumbling with ways to pull his sword from Bowie’s sternum, Bowie grabbed hold of him and pulled him down into his Bowie knife (as it would become later known). Wright died instantly, but Bowie still had the problem of an annoying sword in his chest to deal with, which unfortunately made him an easier target and as such was shot and stabbed again by another member of Crain’s group.

Clambering to his feet, two brothers (Alfred and Carey Blanchard) fired pistols at him, hitting him once in the arm. Bowie was then able to draw the sword out of his chest and cut off part of Alfred’s forearm while dodging another bullet from Carey.

The Brothers then fled like the cowards they were

5. Michael Malloy, a Fire Fighter and Drunkard.

photo wiki

photo wiki

Photo not the real Malloy

Michael Malloy aka “Mike the Durable” and “Iron Mike”, was a homeless drunken Irishman who lived in New York City. As a former fireman who was down on his luck, Malloy became acquainted with five men who pretended to be his friends.

Just when things seemed to be at their worst, Malloy received the friendship of these five men and an unlimited drinking tab at their pub, which probably seemed like a godsend at the time. Little did he know, the five men (who would later become known as “The Murder Trust”) had secretly taken out insurance policies on his life. The idea was that because Malloy was so addicted to alcohol, he would accidentally kill himself with alcohol poisoning. (Little did they know that Malloy most likely had a liver sized for a blue whale.)

With the plan backfiring and Malloy not cooperating with the plan by not dying, action had to be taken. The five then came up with the idea to put anitfreeze in the liquor, but Malloy just kept coming back for more. When anitfreeze didn’t work they used turpentine, followed by horse liniment. When Malloy still came back for more, they used Rat poison in desperation.

image wikipedia

image wikipedia

Of course, by this time, Malloy had most likely built up a tolerance to poison and ingested the Rat poison with little problems other than a “bad hangover” which just required more booze to cure.

Realizing that if they didn’t collect on the insurance policy soon that Malloy was going to drink them out of their profits, The Murder Trust tried using raw oysters soaked in methanol and a sandwich of spoiled sardines mixed with poison and carpet tacks. All of which Malloy swallowed into his iron stomach.

Realizing that Malloy could probably ingest pretty much anything and still live, it was decided that the best way to kill him was to freeze him to death. This time, they waited until Malloy passed out from too much booze, carried him into a park in -26 degree weather, dumped him in snow and poured five gallons of water on his bare chest.

Of course, he showed up the next day for his free drinks. Pissed off, they drove over him with a taxi moving 45 mph, which finally at least sent him to the hospital . After being gone for 3 weeks, The Murder Trust assumed they had finally killed him. When he showed up for drinks again, they threw caution to the wind and put a hose in his mouth that was connected to a gas jet. He was finally pronounced dead of lobar pneumonia.

In contrast, 4 or the 5 men involved died in the electric chair known as “Old Sparky”. And it only took one try.

photo thank wikipedia of Old Sparky from Sing Sing.

photo thank wikipedia of Old Sparky from Sing Sing.

Our 3 Favorite Prison Break Stories of All Time

Written by Jason Scott. Posted in Daily Daft, Funny But True

Anyone who knows the story of the count of Monte Cristo, Papillon, or the Shawshank Redemption, knows that the story of someone escaping to freedom can help lift us out of depression and provide us the strength to face another 5 days of imprisonment in an office cubical. There are many thrilling stories of escape that range from royalty dressing up as the opposite sex (Like with Mary Queen of Scots and King Charles II), to war stories escapes like the Allied Prisoners of War at Stalag Luft III and Colditz or the East Berliners from 1961-1989 (which included a getaway in a hot air balloon) to of course “Prison Breaks”

Below are our 3 of our favorite well known stories of Prison Break Escapes that we feel qualify the “escapees” as “Artists”

The First Being……

1. Kalashnikov Pat – Pascal Payet

Photo Thanks wikipedia

Photo Thanks wikipedia

Pat is one of the most notorious criminals in France

After being convicted of robing an armored truck and shooting  a guard 14 times, Pascal Payet was sentenced to a lengthy prison term.  At least, so the authorities thought.

On October 12 2001 a buddy flew into the compound with a rope ladder and pat escaped with a friend. (why didn’t I think of that?)

The guards got smart and put a net over top of the compound. But in may 2003 he decided to come back with another helicopter and cut a hole in the steel net to bust some friends out (3) He flew the helicopter to a nearby sports stadium and escaped in a car

He was recaptured in 2005.

He then again in June 2007. This time armed men hijack a helicopter, overpowered guards and went straight to his cell to

The chopper landed at a nearby helicopter and everyone escaped. Pat was found 2 months later and thrown back in prison. Of course the authorities aren’t saying which one.

2. Casanova

Photo Thanks Wikipedia

Photo Thanks Wikipedia

Famous for his philandering, Giacomo Casanova pissed off one too many husbands. In fact his powers of seduction were so impressive he was imprisoned for allegedly practicing witchcraft in 1755 when he was sent to Leads prison in Venice, notorious for its inescapability.

However Casanova found a piece of iron in the prison yard and kept it for tunnel digging purposes. He dug a tunnel in the floor beneath his cell, but got moved before its completion. Thats when he convinced “Balbi” (the prisoner in the end cell next to his) to dig two tunnels. One connecting the two cells, and the other leading to the outside the prison.

Both Prisoners escaped with the iron bar, which they used one last time to break through a set of gates on their way to freedom.

3. Frank Morris and the Anglin Brothers

Photo wikipedia

Photo wikipedia

For those who saw the movie “The Rock” (which had nothing to do with the wrestler and everything to do with Sean Connery being a super cool ex MI6 agent) you may remember how hard it was to break in to the Prison Island of Alcatraz. Apparently, Alcatraz was even harder to break out of….unless you are a diabolical genius like Frank Morris.

In its time, Alcatraz was the most secure prison in the United States. It was fully equipped with hidden microphones, gun towers, and trigger happy guards who would like nothing better to do than to snipe some poor bastard who got too close to the electric fence. On top of that, even if a prisoner did manage to escape, they would have to find a way to cross the dangerous waters that completely surrounded the island.

In 1962, Frank Morris and the Anglin brothers, Clarence and John, decided that Alcatraz was a boring un-fun place to be and began planning their escape. Little by little with a set of nail clippers, some spoons and a drill made from a fan, they began to chip away at the concrete around a ventilation shaft. Each night, as the hole got bigger, they would fill it in with a jail made paper mache of newspapers and paste. Once the hole was big enough, they used their paper mache skills to create fake heads with barbershop hair to act as decoys for their escape.

photo wikipedia

photo wikipedia

With the help of 50 prison raincoats, they constructed an inflatable raft (that they blew up with an accordion) and took to the water.

They were never heard from again.

If you would like to conduct your own prison or wartime escape from home, all you need is an imagination, some army men, and one of the cool RC helicopters from DaftGadgets.com

7 Geek Fragrances So Crazy, They Might Actually Work.

Written by Jason Scott. Posted in Daily Daft

We all want to smell like something other than armpits, sweat, and food remnants that get released through our pores. More importantly however, we want to smell like something the opposite sex is likely to want (which unlike us, is desirable).

Knowing this, fragrance designers around the world have spent millions of dollars they didn’t have through questionable research applications trying to find the perfect scent.  Why?  So that they may put it in a bottle and use it to disinfect humanity from its own stench.

From Political fragrances that smell like democrats, republicans, or independent voters, to colognes that make the wearer feel like a soon to be dead red shirt wearing extra in a low budget Star Trek episode, there is most likely now a cologne for literally any occasion.

Below are just a few of the geekiest colognes we could find while surfing the internet pretending to be working…..

The First is….

Play Doh Cologne

PlayDoh-220x324

If you think that Play Doh cologne is meant for old men who expose themselves to children at Disneyland, you’d be wrong.

Play doh cologne is meant for `highly-creative people, who seek a whimsical scent reminiscent of their childhood.” according to the Play Doh cologne manufacturer.

As everyone knows, life always gets worse, which in turn makes our past and childhood seem happier than it really was. This is why we are always looking back on the “good old days” and why it is never the “good old days” right now. Companies know this and attempt to cash in on this imaginary happiness via means of nostalgia.

The hope here is that people will associate the Fragrance with bright colored crayons, finger painting, sculpting, (and all the other creative things we learned that that we can’t make a dime off in today’s modern world) and believe once again that someone like our boss will come down and say. “That’s an exceptionally artistic pie chart you made. Good Job.“

Bacon Cologne

Photo Thanks: Uncrate.com

Photo Thanks: Uncrate.com

For those of you who love the smell of bacon, there is now a way to attract love interests of the same nature. Although we believe that bacon would be a better scent to attract men to women (in perfume), bacon cologne could land you an obese wife or possibly a really good licking poodle.

On a darker side, if you’ve seen the movie deliverance, you may want to avoid wearing it on hunting trips.

Flame –Burger King Cologne

Flame_Burger_King_Cologne

The legendary Burger King Cologne that lets you smell like what every woman wants. A juicy piece of meat!

Yes, its possible that if you don this cologne, you may offend a few vegetarian women, but look on the bright side….Just think of how well groomed you will be after licking yourself all day.

Star Trek Pon Far Perfume

PonFarr

What is a Pon Farr you ask?

If you’re not a Geek and are somehow reading this anyway, you may not know that “The Pon Farr” refers to the deep rooted repressed emotions that a Star Trek Vulcan experiences once every 7 years.  Because Vulcans repress all their emotions, all their rage, fear, love, lust and suffering gets buried deep inside them only to be let out orgastically when they are in “heat” during the mating time of “Pon Farr”

Pon Farr perfume could help you land anything from a Nelix to a Captain Kirk.

Kirk and Nelix.  Photos from wikipedia

Kirk and Nelix. Photos from wikipedia

Warning!  Kirks at Comic Con may be geekier than they appear.

Other Sci Fi Geek Fragrances include: Slave Lei Perfume:

leia perfume box

Which guy hasn’t fantasized about princess lea in a golden bikini? The Slave Lea perfume is so seducing, it even blocks out the hideous image of Jabba the Hut being in the room with you.

Of course, if your guy is a known gambler and scoundrel, there is the Eau d’ Lando cologne for men.

eau Lando

Money Cologne

Photo: LiquidMoney.com

Photo: LiquidMoney.com

Well, they say chicks digg money. But Liquid money comes in both perfume and cologne, so perhaps great minds think alike in this case.

Not exactly for geeks, The idea of the “Money” Cologne is that you can create your own personal scent of success.  Since, Geeks are slowing taking over the world, we think this cologne would be better off smelling like the fear of high school bullies now being chased by geek built killer robots, but money does bring back some nostalgic forms of success from the 1980s we haven’t felt since we began ranting about the blatant societal discrimination towards Generation X.

To get you in the mood for money, we’ve included Gordon Gekko’s famous speech on Greed below.

Wall Street Poster Wikipedia

Wall Street Poster Wikipedia

“Greed is good.”

“Greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures, the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms; greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge, has marked the upward surge of mankind and greed, you mark my words, will not only save Teldar Paper, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the U.S.A “

Quote: Gordon Gekko, Wallstreet.

You can find great Geek Gifts for Him and Her in the unusual gift ideas section of our Gadget Shop

5 Small Rodent-Like Creatures With Incredible Super Powers

Written by Monte Richard. Posted in Daily Daft, Funny But True

If you were going to be a super hero and you could chose the powers of any one animal what would you pick? Pumas can jump 15 feet straight up in the air. Electric eels can generate more volts than the socket in your house. Golden eagles have a crushing grip of almost 500 pounds per square inch. There are lots and lots of incredible animals with super powers. Tigers, bears, elephants, chihuahuas…the list goes on and on. But what about rodents and their kin? The small vermin of the world who lurk in the shadows of the larger, more illustrious members of the league of super animals. Surely you wouldn’t discount the awesome might of the naked mole rat or the cunning of the least weasel. What villain wouldn’t run from the astounding abilities of the shrew? You might be surprised to learn that the bucktoothed, pocket-sized pests of the world are in possession of some awesome abilities. Beware evildoers, lest you incur the wrath of…the rodent!

1 – Naked Mole Rat

Photo Thanks to Naked-Mole-Rat.org

“Evil has a new enemy…and he’s pink.”

Behold the naked mole rat of Africa in all its pink, wrinkly glory. What kind of mad skills could this freakish fleshy bratwurst with teeth possibly have you ask? Well, besides it’s incredible ability to be naked and repulsive and disgusting, it was recently discovered that Naked Mole Rats don’t feel pain like the rest of us. Their skin lacks several key neurotransmitters so neither acid nor chili peppers affects them. Apparently they aren’t bothered by itches either, which is just a bonus. Because they live underground there is a lot of excess carbon dioxide that builds up in their burrows making their environment inherently more acidic. They evolved a to turn off the pain that every other animal on the face of the earth feels. So if a villain comes at you with the whole ‘vat of acid’ routine you’re covered.

Photo thanks Livescience.com.

Photo thanks Livescience.com.

“Pffft…acid? Really? You’ll have to do better than that fiend.”

Naked mole rats also have an incredible set of chompers. They can move their top two teeth apart or together like chopsticks. And because they’re burrowing animals twenty five percent of their muscles are found in their jaw alone. That’s like taking all the power of one of your legs and putting it in your face. These critters have been known to chew threw cement walls! And to round out their skills they can run just as fast backwards as they can forwards and it seems they’re completely immune to cancer.

Photo Thanks to animals.Nationalgeographic.com

Photo Thanks to animals.Nationalgeographic.com

“Yes, it is possibly the most hideous mammal on the face of the planet, but that’s a small price to pay for the unearthly gifts of the naked mole rat…but no you’ll never get a date.”

Mole Rat Video:

mole rat video

2 – Hero Shrew

Photo Thanks Wikipedia.org

Photo Thanks Wikipedia.org

“It’s also known as the ‘armored shrew’ but ‘hero shrew’ just has more flair.”

If you’re going to fight against the forces of tyranny, oppression and general unnicedness then you’ll need some invulnerability. Once again, you might turn too more noted animals when looking for toughness. Sure, bears are pretty rugged. Elephants look like they could take quite a beating. Even innocuous critters like turtles or armadillos would appear on the surface to be better choices then rodents. It’s pretty much a general rule that if you step on a mouse or a rat it’s going to die. Unless that fuzzy little toe biter is the hero shrew of central Africa.

For some inexplicable reason these pint sized fur balls have super reinforced skeletons. They have a unique interlocking backbone, which is about 4 times larger than other animals, its size. Science isn’t really sure why but it probably has something to do with gamma radiation and super science gone awry. The end result is that a 160 pound man can stand on a 4 ounce hero shrew without making gooey little rat pancakes. In fact, there’s a tribe in Africa that does exactly this. They believe that this shrew has powers, which of course it does. Go lay beneath Godzilla’s heel and see how well you fair. The toughest animals in the world couldn’t stand up to the crushing forces that the hero shrew just shrugs off. Mouse traps? He laughs at mousetraps.

Image thanks thelifyouandineverknew.blogspot.com

Image thanks thelifyouandineverknew.blogspot.com

3 – Least Weasel

photo thanks wikipedia.org

“I hunger…for justice!”

The greatest power of all is often times just the will to fight on when things look bleakest. The courage to laugh in the face of fear and throw down no matter how over matched you might be. Sometimes outright scrappiness and an unyielding determination is all you need to carry the day. Does Batman have powers? Does Captain America need laser eyes? These mere mortals survive and overcome enemies much more powerful than themselves with skill alone. Well the least weasel is what you’d get if Batman and Captain America had a baby together that was somehow turned into an adorable ferret. These are some of the smallest mammalian carnivores on earth and yet they’re able to take down prey 5 to 10 times their size.

photo thanks wikipedia.org

photo thanks wikipedia.org

“Holy hell!”

They’ve been known to subdue full-grown rabbits. That’s like a man stepping into the ring with a two thousand pound moose bare handed. These are fearless little beasts who apparently don’t have the good sense to know that attacking animals ten times your size is a bad idea. No disk shield painted up in patriotic colors. No utility belt full of batarangs. Just teeth, skill and an irrepressible urge to beat other animals senseless no matter how big and bad they are.

4 – Northern Short-Tailed Shrew

Nothern Short tailed shrew

Photo thanks wildaboutnatureblog.com

“The furry shark of the insect world.”

All shrews are skilled hunters with voracious appetites. However, the most fearsome is the northern short-tailed shrew. First of all they have a supercharged metabolism. The human heart thumps out around 60 beats per minute at rest and maybe twice that when you’re excited or scared. The shrew’s heart fires at an incredible 1200 beats per minute, about double that of the average rodent. So basically take all the speed and hyperactivity of a common mouse and multiply it by 2. The shrew has ungodly speed and stamina but at a high cost. They’ve got to eat three times their weight in food daily or they will starve to death. They can die within hours.

Photo Thanks curiousnature.info

Photo Thanks curiousnature.info

“Strength…fading…must…find…Starbucks…need…latte”

Super speed is just the beginning though. This shrew is also one of a select group of mammals to have mastered echolocation, kind of like dolphins and bats. Since it hunts mostly underground it uses its sonic senses to navigate. But the shrew is doubly unique because it is also one of the few mammals known to be venomous. Its toxicity has been compared to friggin Gila monsters and cobras. It uses this poison to paralyze prey and bring it back to its nest. Bugs and lizards can stay alive for days in the pantry of the shrew. It’s got super speed, paralyzing poison, and echo location all in one snuggly little package. Mother Nature was not pulling any punches when she designed this thing. They probably spit fire too, so don’t get to close.

5 – Rat

Photo Thanks nationalgeographicstock.com

Photo Thanks nationalgeographicstock.com

“I am the darkness made flesh! Vengeance taken shape and substance!”

Ahhh the rat. Everyone knows that rats are one of the world’s premier survivors. They’re everywhere; in every city and town…you might have a rat or two in your house right now (maybe you’re married to one). But there are a few very good reasons why whiskers does so well. Besides being able to climb virtually anything and being extremely smart, rats have very flexible skeletons and can squeeze through a hole the size of a quarter. And they’re whiskers are nearly as sensitive as your hands. They can feel a speck on the wall in absolute darkness. With their skill and smarts they’re experts at breaking into just about anything.

But perhaps the rats greatest ability is the fact that they’re incredibly hard to kill…..

Rats can tread water for three days, fall 50 feet without injury and in laboratories rats have survived nearly twenty days straight without sleep. That means you can flush them down the toilet, throw them off a balcony or play really loud death-metal for a month and they won’t be fazed in the slightest. The rat’s greatest super power is the ability to cheat death. And if you think that’s a little far fetched then consider this: rats can survive electrocution. They have the ability to restart their own heart after chewing on electric wires. There are companies that build electric rat traps. These devices send out 8000 volts and they’ll do this ever few moments to make sure the vermin stays dead because otherwise it’ll just friggen get up and walk away. What mortal creature gets up after being hit by 8000 volts? That’s more than they use to kill prisoners!

Photo Thanks www.fischerenc.com

Photo Thanks www.fischerenc.com

“Don’t make me angry. You won’t like me when I’m angry.”

Sources:

http://theophanes.hubpages.com/hub/Interesting-Facts-About-Rats

http://www.livescience.com/2325-amazingly-sensitive-rat-whiskers-explained.html

http://www.buzzle.com/articles/electronic-rat-trap.html

http://science.discovery.com/tv/weird-creatures/top-ten/rats-4.html

http://discovermagazine.com/2006/dec/20-things-rats

http://animals.howstuffworks.com/mammals/shrew-info.htm

http://www.wild-facts.com/tag/shrew-facts/

http://www.wild-facts.com/tag/armored-shrew/

http://britishwildlifeandnature.wikia.com/wiki/Weasel

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Least_weasel

http://curiousnature.info/A1-Short-tailed%20Shrew.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Northern_Short-tailed_Shrew

http://www2.brevard.edu/jefrick/shrews.htm

Made Up Words – 6 People Who Just Made Words Up To Sound Cooler.

Written by Jason Scott. Posted in Daily Daft

Many of us have been in a situation where we have heard someone use a word the we have never come across. In these situations, most of us just nod and agree with what the speaker is saying rather than admit we dropped out of high school to become a professional pool player after seeing the movie “The Color of Money” back in the 80s and we don’t know the meaning of most college level words.

Photo: Wikipedia

Photo: Wikipedia

The truth however, is that people make up and misuse new words all the time, and more often than not, you are better off asking the speaker what the word means or what they mean when they use the word. This will improve communication between both of you and help create a deeper understanding.

(Even if that understanding is that you understand that they are a pedantic jackass.)

We at Daft Gadgets have a fun way of dealing with people who use words like that we don’t understand. When we hear a word we don’t know, we use their sentence back on them in disagreement with new made up word that we give meaning to once we know how to prove them wrong.

For example. If we ask a politician if we should raise taxes and he says that it would be “Specious” to do so, we would argue that no doing so could be “castroclarifying”, and then gradually work out what he meant by “specious” during his rebuttal.

Below are a list of 6 People who are known for pulling common words and phrases from places so mysterious, they were previously known only to proctologists.

1. Factoid – Norman Mailer

Norman Mailer.  Photo: Wikipedia

Norman Mailer. Photo: Wikipedia

Speaking of “Made up Words”, while writing Marilyn Monroe‘s biography Mailer, attempted to find a word for the innuendo and deceptive phrase allusions used by celebrity magazines to create gossip and sell subscriptions. Essentially he need a word for the “Made up Facts” that people believe because they read them in news print. The word he chose was “Factoid”, meaning “sounds like a fact”

This definition continued until CNN started using “factoid” to mean “Its a little known fact” which was closer to something Cliff Claven would say, giving the term slightly more credibility.

Cliff Clavin. photo: Wikpedia.

Cliff Clavin. photo: Wikpedia.

“Its a little known fact that…….that cows were domesticated in Mesopotamia and were also used in China as guard animals for the forbidden city” Quote: Cliff Clavin

2. Agnostic – Thomas Huxley

When he wasn’t describing a futuristic hell like society that believed happiness could be found in the perfect pharmaceutical pill, Thomas Huxley was being criticized for not believing in any of the one true gods everyone else believed in. The term for this was Atheist.

Disliking the stigma of being an atheist or the stigmata of a true believer, Huxley created a word for people who don’t know things for sure. He named it, “Agnostic” the a prefix meaning “without” and “Gnostic” (derived from the Greek Gnostos) meaning “knowable”

The term nowadays is generally used for non religious spiritual people who believe in “something” but don’t know what it is, so to speak. The term was coined in the 1960s, but it is uncertain whether or not Huxley was stoned when he created the word.

We say probably “yes.”

3. Grok – Robert a Heinlein

The Word Grok was coined by Robert A Heinlein in his novel “Stranger in a Strange Land” The word describes having the ultimate knowledge of something’s true being (like in Star Trek when a Shape shifter becomes something, or a Trill is merged symbiotically with host.)

Although not a popular word, it is sometimes used by modern speakers to express a deep understanding of a concept, opinion, or philosophy. Originally however, the word “Grok” was meant to represent everything in science, religion, and philosophy, but that we stupid humans are unable to understand since it is like explaining colors to a blind man.

At least that’s what we think it means, assuming we grokked it correctly.

4. Gobbledygook – Maury Maverick

To U.S Congressman Maury Maverick, (Grandson of the Famous “Sam” Maverick, were the term “Maverick” meaning independently minded comes from) The world of politics was filled with a bunch of gobbling bombastic turkey’s, all strutting around and posturing while taking no action or speaking any meaning.

Photo Wikipdia

Photo Wikipdia

Above Photo” Maverick’s interpretation of a politician.

The term Gobbledygook was the name he gave to people (particularly politicians) who were purposely vague and esoteric in their speeches.

5. “Yes Man” – Tad Dorgan

The American cartoonist Tad Dorgan created a comic book about an editor and his apple polishing sycophants. The comics name was “Giving the First Edition the Once Over” and written above the name of each assistant to the editor the words “Yes Man” appeared. Since then, the word yes man has been elaborated to refer to any subordinate in business, sports, or politics who agrees with the boss no matter how wrong he or she may be.

Dorgan is actually credited with a few other phrases you may have heard of as well, including:

  • “The Cat’s Meow,”
  • “Dumbell,”
  • “For Crying Out Loud,”
  • “Hard-boiled,” and oddly enough
  • “Yes, we have no bananas”….?

6. “Fardels” William Shakespeare

Shakespeare.  Photo: Wikipedia

Shakespeare. Photo: Wikipedia

A great man once asked: What do fardels bear? And most of us who read that line went straight to the dictionary only to be left with the assumption that the writer just made the word up out of thin air.

The line comes from Hamlet’s soliloquy “To be, or not to be.” And although he may not have invented to word “Fardels” Shakespeare is credited for quite a few phrases still heard today.

In fact, Shakespeare is credited with at least 1,500 different words and phrases that don’t appear anywhere else before him. Assuming of course that Shakespeare wasn’t an impostor like the urban legends say

Anonymous film poster.  Photo: Wikipedia

Anonymous film poster. Photo: Wikipedia

Below you will find a list of his more memorable made up words.

Puking – From “All the Worlds a Stage”

“All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. As, first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms.
And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. “

To be fair there are more words for puking than almost any other verb, but it puking is probably one of the top 3 synonyms for vomiting. We’d like to point out that even after all these years, some Shakespeare is still considered as “slang”

Note: We at Daft Gadgets claim the rights to word: “SpewJecting” as a new word for projectile vomiting.

Eyeballs – From A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

“make his eyeballs roll with wonted sight.”

Basically, Shakespeare is saying make him experience the loss of sight rather than the state of blindness. He’s clever like that.

Note: We at Daft Gadgets claim the rights to word: “NoseHoles” as obvious and redundant ways to say nostrils

Obscene – From Love’s Labours Lost,

“Then for the place where; where, I mean, I did encounter
that obscene and preposterous event,”

Shakespear was a master of Scenes and probably thought “There should be a word for “bad Scene” and chose “OB” to negate the word scene since “inscene” was too close to “insane”. (He may have also had a penchant for Obstetrics)

Note: We at Daft Gadgets claim the rights to word: Obplay which refers to an entire play or lifetime of bad behavior, as opposed to just a “bad scene”

The Game is A foot – Henry IV

This is kind of like when your 80s Chrysler says “A Door is Ajar.” We know a door is a door and a foot is a foot, but like “A-Jar” a door must be closed and like a foot, the game is now moving.

Yes we know this comparison is cheesy.

Epileptic – King Lear.

“A plague upon your epileptic visage!

Like “Apoplectic” (showing signs of stroke during times extreme rage or heart attack) Epileptic has taken on a meaning of extreme gesticulations to the point of a medical condition.

Thanks to Shakespeare we now know that Julius Caesar was not cursed by the gods and merely suffered from “Epilepsy”

Note: We at Daft Gadgets claim the rights to word: “Taxokleptic” which denotes a government’s taxing and misuse of tax money that is so gelasticly dark and excessive, that it constitutes both theft and a disease. (Like a fanatical kleptomaniac)

Other wonderful words that the internet credits to Shakespeare can be seen below.

It could be successfully argued that society adapted these words into their language to subconsciously bring more drama into our lives, or that people started using them because they wanted to appear more educated than the people who had never heard them before Shakespeare made them up.

Or you could argue that we didn’t check our sources well enough and that Shakespeare wasn’t a real person anyway even if we did.

Either which way, the jury is still out on these:

academe
accused
addiction
advertising
amazement
arouse
assassination
backing
bandit
bedroom
beached
besmirch
birthplace
blanket
bloodstained
barefaced
blushing
bet
bump
buzzer
caked
cater
champion
circumstantial
cold-blooded
compromise
courtship
countless
critic
dauntless
dawn
deafening
discontent
dishearten
drugged
dwindle
equivocal
elbow
excitement
exposure
eyeball
fashionable
fixture
flawed
frugal
generous
gloomy
gossip
gnarled
grovel
green-eyed
gust
hint
hobnob
hurried
impede
impartial
invulnerable
jaded
label
lackluster
laughable
lonely
lower
luggage
lustrous
madcap
majestic
marketable
metamorphize
mimic
monumental
mountaineer
negotiate
noiseless
obsequiously
ode
olympian
outbreak panders
pedant
premeditated
radiance
rantremorseless
savagery
scuffle
secure
skim milk
submerge
summits
wagger
torture
tranquil
undress
unrealvaried
vaulting
worthless
zany

5 Super Adorable Exotic Pets (who make absolutely terrible pets)

Written by Monte Richard. Posted in Daily Daft, Funny But True

5. Ferrets

Video: Ferrets


Photo Thanks: www.sheknows.com

Photo Thanks: www.sheknows.com

“Awww…he’s all tuckered out. Now he’s going to curl up in a nest of you’re socks he’s crammed behind the fridge.”

Ferrets, those mischievous masked scamps. They’re like slinky, sinuous, cats with comically long necks and bodies. These are affectionate, playful, inquisitive animals. If you get them descented they don’t smell too bad and they can be litter trained with some patience. In fact, a ferret or two would make an excellent addition to your home. Provided you can keep the darn things from killing themselves. Ferrets curiosity and energy mixed with the fact that they can squeeze into tight places pretty much guarantees that they’ll get themselves in trouble unless you ferret proof your house. If you thought babies were helpless and stupid, here are just a few of the many many things you need to do to keep your suicide prone weasel safe.

Photo Thanks: Critteristic.com

Photo Thanks: Critteristic.com

“They’re dead…but it’s still cute.”

They love holes, so plug up everything. Don’t assume your ferret hasn’t crawled into your vacuum cleaner or your drain pipes (don’t turn on the garbage disposal!). Rocking chairs and fold out beds are pretty much blunt guillotines, so get rid of them. Keep your toilet bowl lid down or they’ll drown themselves. And they love to eat odd things, so watch what you leave laying around. Vets have pulled foam ear plugs, paper clips, erasers, rubber bands, mousepad pieces, Velcro, calculator keypads, stockings out of their stomachs. Always check the dirty clothes before throwing them on to wash because rodent blood will absolutely ruin a blouse. Make sure your medicine is kept in childproof containers and is out of reach (wait…seriously?). You should also probably look into getting your ferret a bright yellow helmet with a warning label that reads ‘special’.

4. Kinkajous

Video: Kinkajou

photo thanks: blue-n-gold.com

photo thanks: blue-n-gold.com

“The cutest animal ninja of them all.”

This ferret-monkey-bear looking thing is not only cute, but also very playful. The Kinkajou is energetic, loves to leap and climb, has a prehensile tail like a monkey and will use you as it’s personal tree. It also has a six-inch long tongue. Which is all awesome right? And it’ll bite the ever-loving hell out of you if you mess up, just like it did to Paris Hilton…twice.

Even though their diet consists mainly of fruit they have extremely sharp teeth and a strong bite. Scientists don’t really know why this frugivore even needs friggin vampire-like incisors. What kind of fruit can’t be taken out with anything less than fangs? Regardless many owners swear that these creatures are gentle and affectionate. Just as long as you don’t crowd them too much, don’t make too many sudden movements, respect their territory and don’t wake them up during the day. It’s also recommended that let them have their own room cuz they need lots of space. You should probably give strong consideration to turning your entire life over to your Kinkajou. It would make things easier. (So yes, it’s exactly like being married.) Follow these simple guidelines and you’ll come away mostly unscathed…probably. They also live anywhere from 20 to 40 years, so be prepared to have this hyper, saber-toothed squirrel-chimp around forever. Oh, and in at least three states Raccoon Roundworms have been discovered in the feces of Kinkajou pets…which can be fatal to humans…and Kinkajou’s can’t be litter trained (or any kind of trained actually).

3. Owls

Owl Video

Because chicks dig vicious killer bird that can maim and/or disfigure you for life.”

Wook, it’s a soft fwuzzy widdle owl. He’s so tiny and fruffy and wovable. I wants one! Friggin Harry Potter’s got an owl mom. Why can’t I have one? Well first of all it’s illegal. But who cares right? People still keep these things. But there are other reasons that should make you reconsider adopting one of these plushy raptors. Mostly, it’s because they’re birds of prey, so besides having razor sharp claws and beaks that can cut you, your furniture and virtually anything else in your house to shreds, they’ll also see any other pets as potential food. We can’t stress enough how powerful and sharp and their talons are. They can cut you to the bone just by being playful. Some of the larger owls have a grip of up to two hundred pounds per square inch. Humans can barely squeeze for twenty.

Photo Thanks www.3news.co.nz

Photo Thanks www.3news.co.nz

“You’re perfectly safe as long as you don’t stop petting him.”

And if the bird has imprinted on you then it’ll think you’re its mate. Which basically means it owns you and it’ll attack anyone who comes near you. I hope you don’t plan to date. During mating season it’ll hoot and screech all night long too. And you’d better darn well hoot back and you’d better act like you like it…if you know what’s good for you. And they won’t like anyone else but you which means only you can feed them, so no vacations away from home…ever. They also have special diets which consists of whole animals. They will also throw up everything they don’t digest, like livers and intestines, so be prepared to clean that loveliness up.

2. Slow Loris

What is a Slow Loris? Watch these videos first:  Slow Loris

Photo Thanks: Cuteoverload.com

Photo Thanks: Cuteoverload.com

“Feed me! The cuteness compels you.”

Holy heck on a stick!!! That has got to be the cutest thing on the face of this forsaken mud ball we call earth! That precious guy is packing some epic, weapons grade adorableness. That innocent, wide-eyed little bugger is just begging to have the heck cuddled out of him. He’s such a slow, itty-bitty monkey. It’s like a tiny, fuzzy old man. Why doesn’t everyone have one of these sweet little raccoon sloths? Because they have poisonous elbows (no, seriously). The Slow Loris has special glands in their elbows which secret a toxin that causes rapid swelling and intense pain (it’s all true, why would we make this up?). They lick their elbows so that they’re bite can deliver this venom to the bloodstream (go ahead, try to lick your elbow).

photo thanks: weird-bizzare-creepy.tumblr.com

photo thanks: weird-bizzare-creepy.tumblr.com

“This may look like a ‘don’t beat me’ pose, but in reality it’s getting its elbows in attack position.”

Owning one is illegal, because they’re endangered in the wild. Their poison also makes them smell like sweat socks. They like to bed down in dirty cloths hampers (cuz it smells like home probably). They have extremely sharp teeth and despite their slow appearance they can strike like lighting. The poison doesn’t kill, but it causes painful throbbing and swelling.

1. Sugar Gliders

video:Sugar Gliders

photo thanks: www.washingtonpost.com

photo thanks: www.washingtonpost.com

It’s wearing a bow! She’s a proper little lady! What…why is my arm wet?”

These lovely flying squirrel-possums are small, cute and they love to play and run around. And the best part is they can glide! You and a friend can toss one around in the back yard like a baseball (please don’t). What could be more fun and adorable than an aerial hamster with stripes like an English badger? And then it pees on you. As a matter of fact, it’ll probably do more than pee. Sugar gliders have no real control over when they defecate. When they wake up, they pee. When they eat, they pee. When you take them out to play, they pee. But don’t worry, that probably means he likes you.

photo thanks: www.dailymail.co.uk

photo thanks: www.dailymail.co.uk

The fur bat strikes!”

Another great thing about sugar gliders is that they suck the juices out of their food. They don’t really ‘eat’ fruit. They just squeeze it to a mushy pulp and then they spit it out…all over the wall, the floor, the ceiling. These little critters are renowned for making a huge mess. They can also smell strongly (but maybe that’s because it’s covered in urine 24 hours a day). And don’t think you can get just one. Sugar gliders are social creatures and they need lots of attention or they might freak out and attack you or themselves or just straight out die. (Did we mention that in the wild they chew threw bark so you’re skin is laughably easy for them to peal away?) It’s best if you have two so they don’t get lonely. So that’s twice the mess, twice the smell but also twice the fun!

Oh, and they bark all night long cuz their nocturnal animals. Sweet dreams.

If you are looking to block out the insane barking of a sugar glider, or just the voices in your head you can try the memory foam sleep mask with headphone input from DaftGadgets.com

Sources:

Ferrets

http://www.seniorlink.co.nz/interests/pets/ferret.shtml
http://www.all-about-ferrets.com/ferret-proofing.html

Kinkajou

http://www.jandaexotics.com/Kinkajou.html

Owls

http://www.festivalofowls.com/owlsaspets.htm
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/owls-as-pets.html

Slow Loris

http://www.kingsnake.com/toxinology/loris/slow_loris.html

Sugar Gliders

http://www.sugarglider.com/

http://factoidz.com/why-is-my-sugar-glider-throwing-his-food-all-around/

7 Gadgets To Help You Torment Your Coworkers

Written by Monte Richard. Posted in Daily Daft, Gadgets

Maybe you’ve got the best job in the whole wide world. Maybe you get paid six figures to rub edible body lotion on scantily clad super models. Maybe you’re a world-renowned rocket surgeon with a tattoo of a flaming tornado carved into your tongue. Or maybe you just work in an office performing tasks so menial, repetitive and pointless that they are destroying your very soul. Sometimes work is fulfilling, uplifting, exhilarating. And sometimes you hate your fellow coworkers with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns. Fear not my friend. We at Daft Gadgets have got you covered. If the day ever arrives were you win the lottery and/or just outright snap then we’ve got a few things that might interest you.

1 – Blatantly Obnoxious Gadgets

At this point it doesn’t matter if you get fired right? You’re either going to be rich, or you’re on your way to a much better job, or you’ve decided to embrace the philosophies and practices of homeless vagabonds. So if getting canned is no big deal then we recommend going all out with blatantly obnoxiousness. Step one: Do you like popcorn?

American Originals Popcorn Maker Banner

Pop Corn Maker

The American Originals Popcorn Maker is a great way to make lots of racket. We suggest putting one on your desk so that you can enjoy the fluffy buttery goodness whenever you want. The innocuous little seeds of corn will detonate once they are subjected to the near super nova-like heat and pressure inside this machine. It is sure to distract everyone around you and it makes a great snack too. You can’t lose! And don’t underestimate the annoyance factor of dropping white flaky crumbs all over the floor or on everyone’s paperwork and then leaving butter-flavored grease on every surface and doorknob you come into contact with.

Couple that with the Da Vinci Catapult and you’ll be able to launch corn kernels anywhere in the office with great speed and precision. It’ll send a pile of seeds hurling up to fifteen feet! You can also use paper clips, breath mints and old chewing gum.

Da Vinci Catapult Kit

Da Vinci Catapult

If you’re boss asks why you have a medieval siege weapon on your desk tell him it was the last thing your father gave you before he died tragically and that it inspires you to reach for excellence in all things (wipe away a tear at this point). Then as he turns away in defeat, hit him on the butt with corn.

2-Gadgets for Taking Out Your Boss

If there is one person who has worked extra hard to make you feel especially insignificant and useless it’s your boss. Something will have to be done about him. This may be a bit elaborate but that’s ok. He’s worth it.

First you’ll need some compromising images of him (or his unreasonably hot wife). How can you obtain these without getting caught and/or going to jail?

Mini Camera

Stick Video Camera with Audio_Mini DVR2

This mini-dvr video camera stick can record about two hours of footage. Its small size means you can hide it just about anywhere. Stick one in his office and try to get a shot of him picking his nose or adjusting himself. Maybe you know he’s having a secret tryst with his secretary after hours. Maybe he looks at dirty pictures on his computer. He’s a pretty sleazy individual. You’ll catch him doing something. And no, you probably shouldn’t put this camera in the bathroom because that’s just wrong…but then again he did pass you up for that 50 cent pay raise last quarter.

Once you have the picture you’re going to need a place to display it where everyone can get a good long look at it. That’s when you’ll need the help of a friend and the Party blimp.

party Blimp

This three foot long remote control blimp is specially designed to display messages and/or photos. With a range of 300 feet, get a friend to hide in his car or in a neighboring building and have him hover the Party blimp (with humiliating picture attached) outside the windows of your office. Maybe your boss is going to be in a board meeting today. Perhaps he’s with a new customer. With a good picture and fair weather you’re sure to pay your supervisor back for that time he stole your tuna salad out of the fridge. And the best part is that he’ll never know it was you! We’d also like to recommend that you have your mini dvr stick record his inevitable melt down too. Then you can use the audio to make Christmas cards with our voice recording picture post cards. Don’t let these cherished moments pass you by.

Voice recording post cards

picture postcards

3 – Gadgets for Bringing Your Nemesis To Their Knees

There’s one person in the office that you especially hate and he or she very likely feels the exact same way about you. The constant backstabbing, the brown-nosing, the condescending manner in which they speak and act. This person is a jacktard of epic proportions and he must be humbled.

PC Prankster

pcprankster

You can set the PC Prankster to interfere with his mouse at random intervals. Plug it into a free USB port on the back of his computer and then just walk away. He’ll be fighting with it all day long. Before the tech guy comes you’ll need to remove it though. Then put it back in later on. You need your computer repairman to think this guy is crazy so that he just stops coming. At that point you can deploy the most devious part of your plan. Magna Putty.

Space Magna Putty

Space Magna Putty

All electronics now-a-days run off of magnets. That’s why it’s really important that you keep them away from your computer, flash drives or cell phones. Unless you’re trying to sabotage some jerkwad who has made your life miserable. Then you want to put magnets everywhere and the best way to do that is with moldable, form fitting Magna Putty. You’ll need a lot of this wonder goop. You want to coat the bottom of your nemeses computer with it. That’s the last place anyone will look. It may take a while to find the right amount. Just keep adding until his machine starts to freak out. And the best part is that technical support will take their sweet time coming to fix the problem because they think he’s just a complainer. And god forbid he ever leave his smart phone hanging around. Then you can just pop the back off, and stick some Magna Putty behind the battery. No more Angry Birds for you buddy! Put Magna Putty under his monitor and stick it on the underside of his drawers where he stores his electrical devices. Saturate his desk with so much magnetism that nothing will ever work right again. And if someone ever does find the putty they probably won’t even know what it is. They’ll just blame him for being a slob. After all, he’s got all those popcorn crumbs on the ground.

The 7 Most Insane Festival Battles On Earth

Written by Monte Richard. Posted in Daily Daft, Funny But True

Some parties are just better than others. Sure Mardi Gras in New Orleans is fun what with the bead throwing and all the craziness associated with it. But how about the worlds biggest food fight? Or a festival where people try to set you on fire? This is a list of the greatest annual festival on earth where people battle each other.

Here they are, the largest, the most incredible and the most dangerous mock combat engagements from around the globe. If you go, make sure you bring your grrr face and a helmet, because things are about to get insane.

1 – La Tomatina

The Largest Food Fight In The World

No, this is not an orgy or a scene from the vampire movie

 

Photo from wikipedia

“And you thought Spain’s water parks were awesome.”

Often mistaken by vampires as a really big blood orgy, La Tomatina the largest annual food fight in the world. If you have severe tomato allergies then August 29th, Buñol, Spain is the perfect place to commit suicide. This little town of nine thousand swells to nearly 50 thousand celebrants for the messiest food fight on earth. The whole town shuts down and the streets run red with the life juices of this popular vegetable (fruit?). There are literal rivers of marinara after it’s all over.

The tomato festivities begin at 11 am with the launching of five tomato-packed rockets. Yes, the Spanish have developed tomato based artillery. Next someone from the crowd has to climb a greased poll to get the ham at the top (because you’ve got to have something to go with all of this ketchup, right). Then, for the next 2 hour everybody goes absolutely insane hurling 250,000 pounds of tomatoes at each other.

 

throwing tomatoes from a truck

“At least there weren’t as many casualties as last year!”

The rules for the tomato fight are simple enough: no ammo other than tomatoes is allowed, all tomatoes must be squished before being thrown, and you have to fling these crimson wads of mush at everyone you see. No one knows exactly why the festival started, but it’s taken on a life of its own and is now copied in a few other tomato crazed cities around the world. After the two hours is up the fire trucks role in and they start hosing down the whole town. Although can you ever really wash away the smell of a metric ton of tomato paste? You should probably wear a mask if you go to this one since tomatoes are acidic and can irritate the eyes. And bring some crackers because there going to be a whole lot of soup.

Here’s the Video:

2 – Batalla del Vino:

Wine Wars


photo thanks to Wikipedia
photo thanks to Wikipedia

“We hope you look good in mauve”

Whereas most festivals in Spain are devoted to a particular saint, Batalla del Vino which takes place on June 29th exists for a whole different reason. There was a land dispute between two villages in Spanish wine country near the town of Haro over a hundred years ago. Apparently things got pretty heated and they tried to kill each other with the only weapon available to them…delicious red wine. The conflict didn’t go away over the years but it became less violent while still retaining the whole drown each other in wine thing. Whats unique about this event is that the purpose is not to get drunk on wine, but to soak each other with the grapey libations. It’s like a water fight where the water has been replaced by ten thousand gallons of happy juice.

haro wine festival hose

“The wine fire hose……….. reason number 211 why festivals in Europe rule.”

Needless to say don’t wear anything you don’t want permanently stained pinkish purple. And you might want to invest in some sort of liquid dispensing device. People come to this event ready to do combat with just about everything you could imagine. Squirt bottles, leather water skins, water guns, buckets, cups, backpack insecticide sprayers (yeah, just rinse out the poison and fill it with wine, its all good) and fire trucks. Yes, they’ve rigged fire trucks to spray fermented grape juice. How awesome is that! Bring the kids as hosing down people in alcohol is a family event in Spain. They don’t even card.

Here’s the video:

grape jelly

“And the streets are paved with grape jelly!”

3 – Ivrea Carnevale:

The Battle of The Orange

photo hyd-masti.com

photo hyd-masti.com

“Kill the Oppressors”

While La Tomatina may be the largest food fight in the world the title of most brutal probably goes to the Carnival in Ivrea Italy, which is held 40 days before lent. For this one standard swim goggles may not be enough since you’re going to get beat with oranges. The battle consists of the crowd attacking groups of well armored men on floats with the citrus fruits. And the floats are pulled around the streets by teams of horses, so the battle changes as they move around the city. You also probably have a chance of seeing someone get trampled to death because a miss thrown fruit ticked off a horse. It’s pure orangy chaos.

It’s supposed to be a recreation of a battle that no one is sure actually happened.

photo hyd-masti.com
photo hyd-masti.com

“Yes, its that serious”

The peasants revolted against their cruel masters and beat them to death with fruit. Actually no, the oranges are supposed to represent stones and arrows. Even still, oranges hurt, so you’d better dress accordingly. And they say it’s not really a waste because these are excess oranges that the European Union forces them to destroy anyway. I guess because there are too many oranges in the world and we’ve solved world hunger while while none of us were looking.

In the end there’s so much orange on the ground they have to get slow plows to clean the streets. It used to be that people could chuck oranges from the windows of the houses surrounding the narrow streets. But apparently that was too brutal on the tourists (pansies) so now you have to either be on the ground or on a float to throw an orange. But even still, it’s a friggin orange. That’s like throwing a softball at someone. At least you won’t get scurvy though.

Heres the video:

photo hyd-masti

photo hyd-masti

“Face shields are optional, because really, it’s just fruit…right?”

4 – Wasserschlacht Battle:

Garbage Fight

 

Photo spiegel.de

“Take the train. It’s safer. Probably.”

The Wasserschlacht is one of the more recent festivals, but it is no less crazy than any of the others on this list. In 1998 in Berlin German the districts of Friedrichshain and Kreuzberg were joined together governmentally. Unfortunately these two sections of town don’t get along very well. To show their dissention the disgruntled citizen staged a water fight on a bridge joining the two sides. However, over the years it has escalated somewhat. Now the Wasserschlacht has turned into more of a dirty food fight with some arson mixed in for good measure.

Although officially only flower and water and foam swords and shields are supposed to be the allowed participants on both sides have begun stepping up their game. First they added eggs and rotted fruit. But now you can get hit with anything from stinky fish to used diapers. No one has flung a dead cat yet, but its coming. And the event has been known to get a little out of hand at times.

Photo spiegel.de

Photo spiegel.de

“Someone is letting all this good trash go to waist.”

Floats and vehicles have been set ablaze by the overtly zealous combatants. It had gotten so bad that one year the city canceled the event. When the police blocked the rioters…I mean ‘participants’ the got pelted with all the ammunition instead, cuz don’t you dare deny the Germans their god given rights to fling refuse at one another. It has since started up again (sponsored by a garbage company of course) with each year getting more rambunctious than the last…of course. When can you get in on the action? It’s generally held on the last Sunday of August.

Heres a video:

photo pics24h.com

photo pics24h.com

“The fire and the gas masks add a nice apocalyptic feel to the festival.”

Garbage Day in 1980s Hollywood

Garbage Day in 1980s Hollywood

The USA version of the Garbage day fight is a little different

5 –Nozawa Onsen Dosojin Matsuri:

The Drunken Arson Festival

Photo panoramio.com/photo/18425502

Photo panoramio.com

“Do you think we’ve got enough fire wood? When this thing goes up it needs to be seen from space.”

The little village of Nozawa Onsen in the mountains of Japan takes their fire festival seriously. Originally began as an invocation to the gods for a good harvest, health and good fortune in the coming year, it has been expanded to include a supplication to the heavens for a good ski season as well. Taking place on January 15th every year, the festival is staged by men aged 42 and 25 which they believe are the “unlucky ages”. They don’t go into an explanation about why this is so, but it’s probably because men around 25 are just starting to get married (and instead of saying ‘hey you just lost all your freedom’ the Japanese call it ‘unlucky’) and men around 42 are just starting to get divorced (lucky for you she’s only taking half of everything).

photo snowjapan.com

photo snowjapan.com

So they build a two-story shrine made out of wood which the town will attempt to burn down. The 25 year olds defend the bottom with sticks and the 42 year olds sit on the top and get drunk. Actually everyone is drunk, but it seems that the 42 year olds only job in this festival is to get drunk and egg on the crowd…who are also drunk. Because trying to set each other on fire sober would just wrong.

photo snow japan

photo snow japan

“Probably the only place in the world where its perfectly legal to hit someone in the face with a torch.”

First the little kids are given flaming torches and told to run over and try to set that tower on fire thereby immolating those nice inebriated men protecting it. Once the rugrats have had their shot at manslaughter the entire town tries to set the shrine ablaze. The battle is fierce and cuts and burns are the order of the day. The outnumbered defenders try to bat the torches away while the rest of the town folk burn them. Yeah, it’s totally fair. And of course this is done at night in the snow and everyone is drunk. In fact, there are designated sake men whose job it is to walk around and offer people drinks.

After about four hours of everyone trying to kill one another the shrine is vacated and they set it on fire. The dry wood, likely infused with the drunken sweat and breath of its defenders goes up in a blaze of glory as an offering to the gods. The dying embers, kicked up by the mountain winds swirl about smoldering in peoples cloths. And then everyone passes out drunk, burnt and bloody. And if the gods are pleased then the skiers will come back next year.

photo nozawa-onsen.com

photo nozawa-onsen.com

“The guys at the top are tasked with the difficult job of getting really wasted and snarky.”

6 – “Las Bolas de Fuego”:

Fireball Festival

 

photo rawmeat.com

”And you thought Mortal Kombat was just a video game.”

Lots of places have festivals where weird stuff gets thrown through the air. There’s a festival in Spanish town of El Puig has their annual Batalla de la Rata Muerta where they’ll throw dead rats at each other. In Laza, Spain for Entroido they’ll get mud balls full of live ants and toss that into the crowd for fun. But none of those can hold a candle to Las Bolas de Fuego in Nejapa El Salvador for sheer craziness. They throw fireballs at one another…seriously.

In 1922 an erupting volcano forced the people of Nejapa El Salvador to evacuate.  As they were leaving, locals saw great balls of fire spewing out of the volcano, and believed their patron saint, San Jeronimo, was actually fighting the devil for them. So to commemorate this event the locals stage a fight where they hurl friggin fireballs at each other.  Not fireworks.  Not balls of paper painted to look like flames.  They wad up old rags, dip them in kerosene for a month and set them ablaze.  The city divides itself into two teams.  Those guys on that side of the street verses everyone else on this side.  Equipped with water soaked gloves, cloths, masks, war paint, and massive kohones the festival participants then proceed to lob genuine, honest to god fireballs at one another!

Is it dangerous?  No, of course not. Sure, people have gotten burned and some have died but nothing major.  It’s just a solidified blob of plazma after all. Where’s the harm in tossing these things around crowded streets. And considering that this is El Salvador, getting hit in the face with a burning sack of kerosene is probably not your biggest worry.  What other nation would have a firebomb festival right in the middle of town?

Here’s the Video:

7 – Takeuchi Matsuri:

The Beat Each Other With Sticks Festival

photo pref.akita.jp

Valentines day in Japan must be particularly brutal, but cause the very next day is the Takeuchi Matsuri. What does Takeuchi Matsuri mean? ‘Get The Biggest Stick You Can Find And Beat Your Neighbor Senseless’. That’s not an exact translation of course but it’s pretty close…probably. The day after Valentines Day men in towns all across Japan get liquored up, grab a twenty-foot length of bamboo and proceed to beat the snot out of their rivals. The towns divide into North vs South. The combat is three rounds and the police and medical teams are there to make sure the festivities don’t get out of hand. But what could possibly go wrong? It’s just a couple hundred inebriated neighbors pummeling one another with massive poles and sometimes fists.

photo japanprobe.com

photo japanprobe.com

It is believed that if the North wins, a good harvest of rice is promised, and if the South wins, the price of rice will go up. Kind of like our ground groundhog day, but with giant clubs and a hefty butt whoopin. So yeah, these guys are actually fighting for something…kind of. Where as the rest of the festivals on this list are just for fun or because you’re crazy, the Takeuchi Matsuri decides the fate of rice…but not really. So you can bet these people play for keeps. When you get there get a helmet, a thick jacket and guzzle down as much sake as you can to numb the pain because getting tagged with a twenty-foot stitch is going to smart.

But most of all have fun!

photo akitajet.com

photo akitajet.com

If you have a crazy Festival or Celebration Planned, check out our Cool Water Lanterns at DaftGadgets.com

The Top Geek Toys and Gadgets of 2011

Written by Jason Scott. Posted in Daily Daft, Gadgets

If you like Geek toys and Gadgets…..

Don’t forget to “like” us!

When you like us we become cool like y0u, and we think you can afford to give away a little coolness.  It is the holiday season after all….


Is there a special geek in your life this holiday season? Just want to say thanks or maybe just wanting a little something extra in your life? There are some truly fantastic geek toys and gadgets out there for anyone and everyone. You don’t have to be an uber geek to appreciate some of the truly neat and bizarre trinkets that are available.

We have handpicked eight different geek toys and gadgets that should amuse any techie or sci fi enthusiast on your list.

First on our list of geek toys and gadgets is “The Floaster”

Floaster-floating-coasters

This peculiar spin on a coaster is great for a small gathering at your place or to create a little mystery at work. Not only are they very stylish coasters but they actually appear to make your drink float in the air! It’s a neat little illusion that will have people asking how. It works because there is a small stand underneath the floaster that is naked to the eye when looking from above. Of course you don’t have to tell them how it works. You can laugh like an evil madman as your coworkers or guests marvel at this little feat of design. The low cost + high fun factor equals out to be a fantastic bargain on a neat gadget. This means it’s an ideal gift for any situation, and you will have enough left to buy one for yourself.

Use this neat geek gadget to open up some good times “Wine Bottle Kit”


Wine Bottle Kit2

Here is a design trick so great it might make that “Houdini” kit disappear. It is a full wine kit inside of what looks like a wine bottle. You could call it wineception if you were so inclined. This set comes with a lever style corkscrew, a bottle collar, a bottle stopper, a bottle pourer, and a foil cutter. It can sit inconspicuously with your wine bottles until the time is right. Due to their compact convenience and aesthetically pleasing design, this kit fits in with your wine collection or as a professional piece in a restaurant. The wine bottle kit proves that you don’t need to break the bank just to break open a bottle of wine.

Shine light on your geek toys and gadgets with “Water Lanterns”

water lanterns

Bring the Far East a little bit closer with these traditional floating paper lanterns. Undeniably cool, yet warm, these lanterns “light” up any backyard for a gathering. Put them in your pond or pool or even on along walkway. These lights will shed some old fashioned light on any celebration, party, or relaxing evening. Setup takes just seconds and the tea lights required are already included. These water lanterns are a classic atmospheric piece; that have been used for centuries because their warmness resonates with anyone who sits in their light. There is no wiring in them so the flame retardant paper lanterns are 100% biodegradable to boot.

Water lanterns are a shining example of a timelessly enjoyable classic.


For some reason we were very drawn to the “Space Magna Putty”

Space Magna Putty

Whether you are a child or an adult, getting absorbed in putty is more fun than it sounds. This isn’t your grandparents’ “silly” putty. Space Magna putty is magnetic, making it much more fun to mold with. You can stretch, mold, and bounce it, but the fun really begins when you introduce a magnet into the mix. It attacks and absorbs the magnet in an entertaining display of science on a small scale. The Space Magna Putty comes in a convenient little package and both stimulates the mind and helps relieve stress.

You’re never too old to enjoy something so simple and fun.

Even pets can be part of our geek toys and gadgets list with the “Space Fish Tank”

Space Fish Tank-pic

Hey look, you finally found Nemo! If you have wanted a fish, but lacked the space in your small apartment or office, this neat space saving bowl is perfect for you. It has a contemporary design that pops out in any setting. This is an appropriate bowl for small fish like the beta or goldfish. The Space Fish Tank has three different background designs that slip behind it allowing you to choose from, the statue of liberty, space, or an alien planet.
Your new friend with gills in the Space Fish Tank means You will never be lonely, and he is sure to attract others guests to your place with his stylish and uniquely geeky home.

This is item is for the geek scout in all of us “Emergency Phone Charger”

emergency-cell-phone-charger

It’s time for a trip to the incredibly practical side. Everyone has had the problem of their phone dying on them at one time or another. Sometimes it’s at an incredibly inopportune time. This is the geek gadget to always have on hand in case that situation arises. It can give up to two hours of more talk time or music time should you hook it up to your I-pod. All it requires is one AA battery to power the device and you are off and charging. It’s small and incredibly convenient with a price tag that encourages the gift of giving.

Move over hipsters it’s the “Retro Phone Cell Phone Handset”

Retro Phone Cell Phone Handset red

(Available in Red for the Bat Cave Extension)

Love the convenience of the cell phone but feel nostalgic of that old timey handset? If so then this is a must buy for you or that certain retro someone. All you have to do is plug the handset into the audio jack on your phone and you’re off. You will be looking 20th century in no time with this fashionable statement of the times. Also, as an added bonus it will reduce the amount of radiation pouring into your head because you don’t have to keep the cell phone there!

Smart, funny, and just plain cool, this is a great accessory for those at home in a slightly “simpler” time.

Live long and geeky with the “Astro Eye Planetarium DIY Star Projector”

Last but certainly no least on this list of sweet geek toys and gadgets is this home planetarium. Love the stars but, find yourself surrounded by the lights of man? This is a great way to escape within your own domicile. This 2 disc projector shows the night sky on your walls and ceiling. It gives you both the northern and southern hemisphere perspectives of the stars. It includes five speeds and a 30 or 60 minute sleep function and even a shooting star feature. Great as a learning tool or relaxing way to fall asleep, this is a perfect item for all ages. It runs on batteries so no having to worry about tripping on cords in the night either. This item has a place in any home because astronomy is a part of all of us whether we show our inner geek or not.

With so many options out there, it can be hard to find the right gadget for the geek in your life. Thankfully you can find all these items and many more in our Daft Gadget Store found at daftgadgets.com. There you will find a humorous selection of geek toys and gadgets for every personality and budget.

The Top Movie Death Scenes To Awaken You from Zombieism

Written by Jason Scott. Posted in Daily Daft

See Below for Link

See Below for Link

Well Halloween’s over and we’re moving into Christmas, a time that is generally filled with happy thoughts and good will towards others. Some of us however find the shock of moving from the Macabre of Halloween to the cheery and chirpy sounds of Christmas carols more disturbing than performing in a circus with an audience full of clowns. (Yes, we have something against clowns.   See this Article: Crazy Ass Pyscho Clowns You Don’t Want Under Your Bed)

In case you need to reawaken those human emotions inside, we’ve compiled a list of movie deaths that will not only cure any zombie, but reawaken their human emotions as well.

Trust us, after these scenes, you’ll love to experience those Happy Brady Bunch Christmas Carols they play in the malls.

The first Movie Death Scene  on our list to awaken you from zombieism is:

6. Bambi’s Mom – Bambi

For kids in the 50s it was the happy golden lab, Old Yeller For kids in the 90s it was the the Death of Simba’s father in the Lion King. Either way, you can leave it to Disney to traumatize kids just enough so they have lots of repressed sorrow and depression available to draw upon during their teenage years.

Of course, the most popular Disney Death scene is probably Bambi’s mom. In fact, it is widely known that if you want to make someone cry, all you have to do is make them feel safe, and play the Bambi death scene.

So many of us from all ages were barely aware we were alive until we watched the famous Disney scene below.

The Message: “Don’t look Back”

Bambi

Moving up the list we get to:

5. Spock – The Wrath of Khan

Sure he’s an unfeeling vulcan and probably wouldn’t shed a tear over the movie Bambi, but there’s something like sacrifice that just make’s a heroic death that much more memorable.

The message here: “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one.”

"Don't Grieve Admiral, It is Logical"

"Don't Grieve Admiral, It is Logical"

4. Darth Vader – Return of the Jedi

Moving into a sci fi trend we have a story about redemption, love, and sacrifice.

Darth Vader’s death deserves a special mention because his love for his son essentially awoke the good in him that he thought had died inside him long ago with Natalie Portman.

One of the most memorable scenes of all 6 Star Wars films, it closed the trilogy with a wave of emotions leaving the audience emotionally balanced and alive with new forgiveness for one of the most legendary of all villains.

The Message: Between Overconfidence and Faith, Only One is a Weakness.

"You're Feeble Powers are no Match for the Dark Side"

"Your Feeble Powers are no Match for the Dark Side"

3. BraveHeart.

Being moved to tears is not the theme of this list, but there definitely is a connection between crying and being human. Moved to laughter is certainly a great feeling, but moved to tears usually leaves you feeling like you’ve released some great stress that has been buried deep inside.

The next on our list is one of the most moving moments in movie history, showing just how messed up people were back in the middle ages.

This could easily pass as the #1 choice.

The Message: Oppression Creates Revolution

"The Prisoner Wishes to Say a Word..."

"The Prisoner Wishes to Say a Word..."

2. Elias – Platoon.

This next scene shows the desperate run of a man left behind enemy lines as his friends look down upon him from the getaway helicopter.  In the background you can hear the hope in the soldier callings at the pilot, telling him that one of them is being left behind.

It also carries the added desire by the audience for the character to “make it” as he is the only witness to who it was who betrayed him and left him for dead.

Although the list could be ordered differently, we thought that the greatest heroic exits are the ones where the hero gives a serious ass kicking before finally succumbing to the touch of the grim reaper.

The Message: Even The Greatest of Warriors and Armies cannot succeed if they are at war with themselves.

"The've got Elias!!!!"

"The've got Elias!!!!"

The #1 Movie Death Scene to Awaken from Zombieism.

The Final Scene on our list will come as no surprise to most and is sure to move even and unfeeling robot to tears. For those of you who are familiar with the songs and stories of Roland (see article 5 Greatest Right Hand Men of All Time) you may see some similarities in this fictional character of a similar nature.

The death not only brings about the same feelings of loyalty, honor, courage, and heroic exhilaration like with Elias from above. The scene also brings about strong feelings of redemption.

The message probably being that Redemption can be found by the Hero Within.

Boromirs Death

If these scenes have made you a little emotionally drained, you can charge up some happy wackiness with some of our Geek Toys and Gadgets.  Available now from Daft Gadgets.com

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