7 Crazy New Ice Cream Flavors You Have to Try and 2 You Really Shouldn’t

Written by Jason Scott. Posted in Daily Daft, Funny But True

According to custom, we all scream for ice cream, but do we all scream for the same type? Sure, every now and again some experiments give us a Dulce de leche or a Cherry Garcia, but nobody thinks about just how many failed Ice cream flavors had to be tried along the rocky road of dessert discovery.

At Daft Gadgets, we love ice cream. So much that we will eat twice as much as we need just to avoid leaving any in a freezer for anybody else. We go out of our way to try new things including new ice cream recipes in the hopes of making the desert aspects of our lives complete.

That being said, here is a list of some special types of ice cream you may never have heard of.  Some good, some great, some perfect for certain occasions, and some that have us scratching our heads wondering:

“What the hell were they on when they came up with this flavor?”


1.American Beauty

You may remember American Beauty as the story of a man in his 40s whose libido slaps him awake into a mid life crisis when he espies a cheerleader he believes is having “Cheer sex” with him. American Beauty is also the name of the hybrid rose that appears on the cover of the theatrical release poster.

What we didn’t know was that it has since been made into an ice cream that actually has rose petals in it?  We have no idea why, but it has been suggested that the ice cream is supposed to be like an indulgence in sin.

2.Arab Lunch

Arab Lunch

Lunch in the Arab world is considered the main meal of the day and is traditionally eaten after the noon prayer. We have no idea who came up with the Arab Lunch flavored Ice cream which consists of cheese dates and honey, but were holding back our judgement until hear from the Arab community’s taste buds.

This is one of those flavors that could be surprisingly good.

3.AZuki Bean

 Photo compliments of diana schnuths photo stream

Photo compliments of diana schnuths photo stream

The Azuki Bean is very popular in Japan and is used in many of their desserts like the matcha muffin

and Yokan, which is made from Azuki Bean paste

Youkan Eat this for Dessert!.....Booooooo

Youkan Eat this for Dessert!....."Booooooo"

#4. Spaghetti Bolognese ice cream

Wouldnt Spaghetti Gelato Make More Sense?

"Wouldn't Spaghetti Gelato Make More Sense?"

At first you might think this is odd, and then you realize its all in the look, not the ingredients.

5. I Yam what I Yam

Well, Lares Ice Cream Parlor in Puerto Rico is known to carry ice cream flavors from sweet potato to shrimp and codfish flavored. If you’re looking to give it a try, Angie Tee does a pretty good job of adapting a recipe from David Lebowitz’s “The Perfect Scoop”

Photo thanks to Angie Tee of daily buzz moms

We figure its has to be better than the shrimp or codfish flavor (yes these are the 2 you probably should avoid).

6.Nesselrode

The frozen version of a classic French pudding, said to have been invented by a French chef who worked for Russian diplomat Count Nesselrode in Paris in the mid-1800s.

Cuisine.com shows you a Nesselrod ice cream recipe. Your on your own for the ice cream.

The ice cream is usually flavored with chestnuts poaches in syrup as well as 8 other flavors including rum, brandy, lemon and pineapple.

#7. Roquefort Honey Cheese Ice Cream

Blue Cheese Honey

Roqueofrt is a raw milk cheese aged 3-9 months in caves and typically goes well with winter fruits like Pears.

It’s on the Daft Gadgets lists of ice creams to try, once we get in a line of ice cream makers in our Gadget Shop. 🙂

4 Lost Treasures You Still Have a Shot At

Written by Jason Scott. Posted in Daily Daft, Funny But True

#1.  Yamashita’s Gold and The Caves of Bacuit Bay

Where are they?

Because of its remote location, Bacuit Bay was virtually unknown to the world until 1979 when a boat propeller accident led a group of divers into discovering some of the most breathtaking island scenery nature has to offer.

Endless virgin forest was found throughout the archipelago, all surrounded by fine white sand and crystal clear waters. To the stranded divers, It must have been like finding a piece of heaven.

Bacuit Bay can be found in El Nido, Palawan in the Philippines. It boasts many different caves, the most famous probably being Cudugnon Cave seen below.  The photo is this artistic expression by Christina Macfarlane and Kelly Hsiao from Discover Palawan.

Not sure if they thought to look for Yamashita’s Gold while they were in there.

Photo Thanks to Discoverpalawan.posterous.com

Photo Thanks to Discoverpalawan.posterous.com

How did the treasure get there?

Well before we get all “Indiana Jones” we need to point out that nobody knows which cave the treasure is hidden in. If they did, there would probably be a demolition team in there treating the cave like some common gold mine. In fact, some people aren’t even sure that the treasure is still, or ever was hidden in the Bacuit caves.  Its just the best guess going at this point.

According to history, the Japanese Army went on a pillaging and looting spree from 1936 to 1943 where they built up a pile of treasure from the different churches, monasteries, banks, temples, citizens, and fallen governments. They looted everywhere from China, Manchuria, Indochina, Thailand, Burma, Malaya, Borneo, Singapore and the Dutch indies.

Where this treasure ended up is still a mystery today.

As far as we know, back in 1944, there were 52 ships under the command of Vice Admiral Takehita transporting all this gold and treasure from Singapore to Japan. Unfortunately for Takehita, this was right around the same time General MacArthur invaded the Philippines, sinking Two of the ships off the shores of Bacuit Bay.

It is believed that these ships anchored in the Tapituan passage and stashed their gold in the underwater caves, waiting till the day its found by some lucky tourist on a diving expedition.

#2. Blackbeard’s Treasure

Not to be confused with the Blackbeard known as Edward Teach, Captain Blackbeard’s treasure of pure Spanish Silver Bars was worth 1.5 million dollars back in 1811. Now that may not seem like a lot, but with the price of silver these days, Blackbeard’s treasure could be one of the biggest bootys still waiting to be found.

Back in 1811 Captain Blackbeard was commissioned from the British Admiralty to raise the wreckage of a Spanish galleon that had gone down off the Bahamas during a Hurricane in 1680. He was successful by towing the ship into Baltimore with all the loot intact.

Of Course this called for a Celebration, the likes of which brought justice to the song “Drunken Sailor.” During his drunken rant he was approached by a profiteer at the tavern who told him that he knew all about his precious silver, and had the means to alleviate Blackbeard’s burden of sending it back to England.  Between this and the upcoming war between Britain and the U.S. Captain Blackbeard decided to stash the silver.

Sometime near the end of the summer of 1812, Blackbeard made a trip to the village of Keating Summit, McKean County Pennsylvania. It would be here that he would bury some or perhaps all of the Silver, with the idea of digging it up later.

Unfortunately, he sent someone else to retrieve it, and they were never able to locate it….At least so they claim.

#3. King John’s Crown Jewels

In the year 1215 a caravan of King John of England made an unsuccessful attempt to cross the sands of The Wash, while on its journey between Kings Lynn and Long Sutton. During the escapade, the treasure loaded caravan was trapped by an incoming tide and descending current from the Nene River.

King John had taken a different path due to his illness, and was able to witness the loss of the treasure first hand. The treasure was said to contain his most prized possession, the Crown Jewels. Luckily however, he died a few days later, so the loss of his crown Jewels probably didn’t burden him very much.

The Present Day location of the treasure (or rather the loss of) is considered to be somewhere near Sutton Bridge, on the River Nene, if you want to go looking.

#4. The Treasure of Moctezuma

For those of you who have heard of Motezumas revenge, you may also have heard the story behind why someone might be seeking revenge from beyond the grave.

In 1519 an armada of Spanish troops set sights on Mexico after hearing the legendary stories of “El Dorado” the City of Gold. Now, semi ironically, they did find a mountain of silver when they landed (yes a real mountain), however, as interesting as finding a mountain made of silver may be, this story is about treasure that “Hasn’t” been found yet.

Now for those of you who have read our article about prophecy, you may be familiar with what happened when Cortes arrived. As luck would have it, his arrival fulfilled the Aztec prophecy that the wind god Quetzalcoatl would return to reclaim Mexico. Since their wasn’t anyone else around to challenge his identity of being the wind god, Cortes assumed the role and essentially took everything they had, raping and pillaging and on his way out he left the Aztec people with a few new diseases to try out and experience.

So as you can see, this might make a soul a little restless.

Okay, so there was a bunch of gold and a mountain of silver. Where can I find it.

According to some, in 1920 Freddy Crystal found a treasure map inside a long forgotten manuscript that was stored away in an old church. The manuscript was written by a Spanish Friar who stated that the Spanish had tried to follow the map, but were unfamiliar with the territories to the north and eventually gave up in frustration.

Crystal had learned how to decipher Aztec petroglyphs from canyon walls, and realized that some of the landmarks were similar to those found in Southern Utah, particularly one place near the town of Kanab.

Crystal showed his map to a wealthy rancher named Oscar Robinson and convinced him to invest in his treasure hunt. After 2 years of searching, he actually found a location that fit the map. A large main canyon with side draws, seven mountains, each in it’s proper order!

Excited, he ran down the mountain side to the site where he found steps that were carved directly into the mountain. After climbing the steps he came to a “False Wall” in the cliff face, that led to a long dark corridor. On both sides of the corridor were statues that appeared to be ancient in their origin.

At this point he told everyone in the town and got hundreds of them all excited and volunteering to help out with the excavation of the long lost treasure of Moctezuma. After three years, the residents found lots of false walls and exposed an entire cave system, some of which can still be explored today. Which means you may still have a chance to find the treasure, assuming of course your with someone who knows how to find the hidden entrance.

Courtesy of Paul Jones

Courtesy of Paul Jones

http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/temp-2010-06-19/xCGaaDmyBFwcsaJgeAEfcjepIJJIlchdyFpkyJwyizdzlbCDDcJnnwunfqes/100608-143038-P8Edit.jpg.scaled1000.jpg

5 Common Badass Plants that Might Kill You!

Written by Jason Scott. Posted in Daily Daft, Funny But True

Depiction of a native being consumed by a Ya-te-veo (I see you) carnivorous tree of Central America, from Land and Sea by J.W. Buel, 1887.

Depiction of a native being consumed by a Ya-te-veo ("I see you") carnivorous tree of Central America, from Land and Sea by J.W. Buel, 1887.

Unless you’re a zombie, you wont remember  a story way back in the mid 1800s about the German Explorer Carl Liche.   According to Australian authorities Mr Liche saw a Ya te Veo (“I See You”) plant grab a woman with its tentacles and swallow her whole

In its time, this story captured notoriety across the globe. It wasn’t until the 1950s that the story was debunked by a group of know it alls who felt that it was probably more likely that either the German Explorer killed her himself and attempted to cover it up to avoid going to jail (authorities were easier to fool back then) or that the German Explorer named Carl Liche never truly existed.

Now, our research shows us that such plants don’t exist, but we have found some similar (although toned down) versions of some pretty dangerous and badass plants that you really don’t want to mess with.

First lets take a look at a “Real” Pitcher Plant.

The largest of the pitcher plants is known as Nepenthes, and eats small rodents and lizards. (Who knows? Maybe the Dinosaurs went extinct from an abundance of giant carnivorous plants?)

Now this is the biggest of all the picture plants, and it still probably couldn’t handle a really freaked out squirrel (although we believe it would be funny to find out) so this type of plant is not really a threat to humans.

Now lets look at some that are:

#1. Deadly nightshade

Ralph: "I ated the purple berries!" Bart: "How do they taste Ralph?" Ralph: "It tastes like ... burning"

Deadly Nightshade Sounds like a really badass name for a female ninja. Why do we think that? because at Daft Gadgets we have a thing for Femme Fatales.

However, “Deadly Nightshade” is actually the moniker for a more commonly known plant named “Bella Donna” which literally translates into Pretty Lady. (We’re using lady over woman to not add confusion with the Richard Gere Julia Roberts film that will eventually become a #1 Broadway musical)’

Bella Donna takes its name from the historic use by women to become more attractive. Yes, we know what you are thinking, intoxication makes “Other” people attractive from the perspective of the drunk, not the other way around.  However, for whatever reason women used to take this drug to enlarge their pupils believing big pupils to be very attractive?

“Hey Lindsay, check out the pupils on that one!”

“Hey Lindsay, check out the pupils on that guy!”

Belladonna is rarely used cosmetically in modern times due to the minor visual distortions, inability to focus on near objects, and increased heart rate, and blindness caused from prolonged usage.

That and their size fetishes have moved to other parts of the body.

“What’s so Dangerous about it?”

Well the symptoms associated with “using” too much belladonna generally dilated pupils, sensitivity to light, blurred vision, tachycardia (fast heartbeat), loss of balance, staggering like a fool, headache, rashes, slurred speech, confusion, hallucinations, delirium, and convulsion.

Now we know a lot of these symptoms sound like something from your local neighborhood drunk, so to give you an idea of just how badass this poison is, think about it like this

It takes:

  • 2-5 berries to become lethal to children
  • 10 – 20 for adults.
  • Its root is toxic, and
  • one single leaf can kill a human.

“This sounds dangerous, where will I come across belladonna?”

Other than most recreational psychedelic endeavors, the most common place to come across such a substance in during laser eye surgery.  Lasik vision correction and other eye surgery uses atropine, one of the poisons in deadly nightshade, to dilate the patient’s pupils before operating.

Eye surgery on a hallucinogenic is definitely something we can only believe would be a really bad trip, but apparently, doctors know best.

#2. Castor bean

“This thing doesn’t look scary at all, it kind of looks like a nice Christmas mistletoe. What’s so dangerous about it?”

Its the most poisonous plant in the world. A lethal dose of Castor beans is around 4 – 8 seeds. Once you ingest them you can look forward to a burning in throat, abdominal pain, pooping blood, and other wonderful ailments.

Don’t worry though, if it goes untreated these horrible symptoms only last for 3-5 days.  Then death usually cures you.

Now unchewed seeds may pass without harm, so to get accurate readings some scientist probably crushed them up and fed them to the following innocent animals in order to find out how to keep you safe, so pay attention

It takes:

  • 4 seeds to kill a rabbit,
  • 5 seed to kill a sheep,
  • 6 seeds to kill oxes or horses,
  • 7 seed to kill a pig, and
  • For some odd reason Ducks can eat up to 80 seeds!

“These things sound kind of dangerous where will I run into them?”

This highly poisonous plant is used as a decorative in parks and other public areas, and particularly as a “dot plant” in traditional bedding schemes. So you may find it on a local Greece sidewalk or in your home town park.

Luckily most people nowadays don’t go around eating trees.

#3. Rosary Pea

“What’s do dangerous about the Rosary Pea?”

Well, less than 3 micrograms of ab­rin in the body is enough to kill, which means there is more than enough poison in one pea to kill you.

“Wow, this thing sounds dangerous, where will I come across it?”

Possibly from your spouse or lover. The rosary pea gives new meaning to the phrase “Till death do us part.” Commonly used in jewelry, it has long been a symbol of love in China. Its Chinese name is xiang si dou, or “mutual love bean”.

Often used in jewelry, the rosary pea poses a greater danger to the jewelry maker than to the wearer. There are many reported cases of death when jewelry makers prick a finger while handling the rosary pea, so making the jewelry must also be a labor of love.

You may also find it on your quest to destroy the ring of power.

In Trinidad in the West Indies the brightly colored seeds are strung into bracelets and worn around the wrist or ankle to ward off jumbies or evil spirits and “mal-yeux” – the evil eye

#4. Water Hemlock

I Killed Socrates!

"I Killed Socrates!"

“It looks okay, what’s so dangerous about it?”

The water hemlock is considered by many to be the most deadly plant on the continent.  The water hemlock’s white roots are also sometimes mistaken for a parsnip plant, which is a potentially fatal error. For those unlucky enough to taste this parsnip impostor, the onset of illness is rapid. The cicutoxin contained in the plant causes violent and painful convulsions, nausea, vomiting, cramps and muscle tremors. Those who survive the poisoning experience long-term health conditions, such as amnesia, which is really bad if they don’t remember that the hemlock is poisonous and end up eating it again.

Additional neurological symptoms may include hallucinations, delirium, tingling, pricking, or numbness of a person’s skin, dilated pupils, and coma

“This thing sounds horrible, where will I come across it?”

The wildflower, which grows to 6 feet (1.8 meters), thrives along stream banks, in marshy areas, and in low-lying, damp meadows. Typically, they grow in wet habitats by ponds and streams, marshes, swamps, or other areas that country kids like to play in.

Its most commonly found throughout Northern North America, but can also be found in central Europe.

#5. Oleander

“This flower is beautiful, what’s so dangerous about it?”

The gastrointestinal effects can consist of nausea and vomiting, excess salivation, abdominal pain, diarrhea that may or may not contain blood and can include drowsiness, tremors or shaking of the muscles, seizures, collapse, and even coma that can lead to death.

In fact, an oleander’s poison is so strong, that it can poison a person who simply eats the honey made by bees that have digested oleander nectar!

It is one of the most poisonous plants in the world and contains numerous toxic compounds, many of which are deadly to people, especially young children. it only takes a single ingested oleander leaf to kill a child.

“Wow, that does sound dangerous especially to children. Where will I come across this dangerous plant?”

Yes, oleander is often grown in school yards. However it is native to Mauritania, Morocco, and Portugal eastward through the Mediterranean region and the Sahara (where it is only found sporadically), to the Arabian peninsula, southern Asia, and as far East as Yunnan in southern parts of China. It typically occurs around dry stream beds.

In the USA Oleander can be found as far north as the Outer Banks of North Carolina or commonly as a highway divider in Southern California, which is probably just one more reason to stay in your car.

If you know of any common poisonous plants that people may accidentally come across, please share.  Knowledge is power.

5 Natural Wonders That Were Actually Man Made

Written by Jason Scott. Posted in Daily Daft, Funny But True

#1 Derweze Meaning “The Gate” (aka the door to hell)

Back in 1971 a bunch of profit seeking geologists found a very large deposit of natural gas. Unfortunately for them, the ground beneath their drilling rig collapsed and left a rather large hole that the locals call “The Door to Hell.” According to these geologists, it would only take a few days for all the gas to burn off and this would prevent any poisonous gas discharge. 40 years later, the site is still burning.

In April of 2010, some politicians got together and finally decided that the hole needed to be closed since they could find no ways to make it more profitable.

Here’s a last look at “The Gate To Hell”:

#2 The Panama Canal

Yep, the same canal that caused the stir with Noriega and had the US troops ravaging the entire country of Panama turns out to be man made.

So why didn’t they just build another one then?

As any good Realtor will tell you, Location, Location, Location.

When the canal opened, it was considered one of the technological achievements of the century. Both a strategic and economic asset to the U.S.A. The Panama Canal revolutionized the world’s shipping patterns allowing for much safer passage, and saving a total of almost 7,800 miles (12,500 km) on a trip from New York to San Francisco by sea.

Since the Canal’s handover to Panama in 1999, the income it has generated has gone from $769 Million in 2000 to 1.4 Billion in 2006, with the number of accidents has being cut in half.

At a measly $375 million to build, the Panama canal may just be the most profitable man made achievement of our time.

#3. Lake Nasser

Lake Nasser’s name is attributed to the President Gamal Nasser for achieving the ability to order other people to construct the lake for him. The Lake covers a total surface area of about 5,250 KM squared, which is about 25% bigger than Rhode Island. When the lake was built, 18 ancient temples had to be dismantled and relocated block by block. As well, entire villages were forced to move, while an entire river port seaway was lost beneath the new waters.

Currently, tourists enjoy some great sport fishing for Nile Perch on the lake that double serves as the only way to cross the Sudan-Egypt border outside of air Travel.

#4 Soda Springs Geyser

Soda Springs is an Idaho City whose namesake comes from the thousands of naturally carbonated springs that are located around it. A great place to make a fountain cherry coke or the new hippie drink called “nature pop,” soda springs is also the home of the legendary “Soda Springs Geyser,” a man made carbon dioxide generated cold water geyser.

We’re not really sure why someone wouldn’t attempt to grow wine here just for the curiosity factor, nor are we sure why a naturally carbonated pop from soda springs hasn’t taken off yet (other than the fact that hippies aren’t the best business people, save Ben and Jerry)

#5 Cascata delle Marmore

The 541 foot waterfall known as the Cascata delle Marmore (Marmore’s Falls) was actually constructed by the ancient Romans.  In 271 BC, the Roman consul Manlius Curius Dentatus ordered the construction of a canal (the Curiano Trench) in an effort to remove the threat of illness thought to be festering in the stagnant waters.

Marmore’s falls is the largest man made waterfall in the world. Unfortunately you can only see it for a few hours a day because the water is usually being diverted to a nearby power plant. So if you’re thinking of taking a trip to Terni Italy and you want to stop by the falls, make sure you’re there between 12 – 1 pm, or 4-5pm. The rest of the time, the waterfall is used to generate electricity for a nearby sick orphan coma hospital facility.

Okay, we made that last part up.

6 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Believe Your Eyes

Written by Jason Scott. Posted in Daily Daft, Funny But True

Unlike back in the 1960s, nowadays you don’t have to ingest some strange mushrooms or desert cactus in order to hallucinate. The drug of the modern day is technology, and we can’t get enough of it.

One way technology enhances our lives is by taking us into alternate universes, be it a 3D blockbuster movie, or an online gaming world of avatars, friends, foes, and more relationship categories than any boring “unplugged” society can dream up.

So why do we get so caught up in these computer enhanced realities?

Simple. Because they trick our minds into believing what we see is real, and we welcome it. But just because you enjoy the illusion doesn’t mean you should become fervently obsessed like some crazed Wrestling fan who is angry enough to fight his own friends because the rock cheated the night before in smack down.  At Daft Gadgets we support the occasional trip into fantasy, we just want to make sure we stay grounded.

So how does this technology trick us? Let’s take a look…….

Sometimes the independent parts of an image or object can distort the perception of an object as a whole. Most optical illusions are the result of inharmonious or discordant visuals at the ends of parallel lines, back ground patterns, high contrast areas, after images, or just the inability to comprehend or interpret the spatial structure of an object. (kind of like explaining a paradox to a robot)

Here are a few examples of how these illusions work and why seeing shouldn’t always = believing.

Physiological Illusions (Biological Illusions)

These types of illusions are thought to be caused by a physiological imbalance that alters the observers perception. By exposing the eyes to excessive stimuli (brightness, tilt, color, movement, etc) the brain creates individual dedicated paths in the early stages of visual processing leading to the imbalance in perception. These illusions are believed to be of a more “biological” nature.

Two examples physiological illusions can be seen below.

Example #1 – After Image

Stare at the image for 60 seconds and the look at a white screen

Stare at the image for 60 seconds and the look at a white screen

If you stare at this picture for 20-60 seconds and then stare at white space you will see the reverse image. This version of physiological illusion is known as an after image.

Example #2 The Hermann grid illusion.


Until recently the Hermann grid illusion was believed to come from a physiological imbalance that is explained by what is known as “lateral inhibition.” Here, the receptive field of the light and dark receptors become active with one another in a sort of battle between light and darkness in a Sith/Jedi standstill. This creates imaginary white/black hybrid dots in the grid intersections. Unfortunately, scientists now believe that lateral inhibition is probably not the cause, so it looks like Darth Vader and the darkside of the force are off the hook again.

Cognitive illusions

These types of illusions are believed to be caused by inferences people make with their subconscious or rather “unconscious” minds. These illusions fall into broader categories being fictional illusions, (like those experienced by a schizophrenic or someone on a hallucinogenic substance,) Ambiguous illusions, Distorting illusions, paradox illusions, or a combination of more than one.

Example # 3 Ambiguous Illusions

Ambiguous illusions are pictures that allow the observer two different points of perception. The Rubin vase is probably the best and most common example of an ambiguous illusion.

Rubin Vase

When shown an ambiguous illusion for the first time, the observer will often see only one interpretation. This is partly due to the power of a first impression created by the mind. When the brain interprets something, it has a tendency to focus and identify things based upon their surroundings. We don’t just judge people by the clothes they wear and who they hang out with, we also make judgments based upon things that stand out. Its kind of like if you saw $20 bucks lying on the ground, you’re not going to be focusing on the ground. When things don’t stand out, our minds tend to “create” the perception by shaping what it sees. This “shaping” function overrides the feature recognition process and essentially creates its own opinion of what is sees.

Example #4 Distorting illusions

Distorting illusions are characterized by distortions of size, length, or curvature. The “Cafe Wall” is an example of how “border locking” can cause a “deja vu” like chaos with our brain. Here the brain is actually making predictions of where the mortar lines will lead. You’ll notice, that only the parts “out of focus” appear to be bent or moving. In a sense, your brain is predicting the future.

Example #5 Paradox illusions

This type of illusion uses images that are impossible to exist within a 3 dimensional universe. One example being The Penrose Square or Staircase

(remember the movie inception) The paradox illusion works by focusing the observer on segments of an object, rather than the object as a whole. For instance, if one were in a lucid dream, climbing a penrose stair case, they would probably believe that they are moving up, when in fact, they were only going in circles.

Example # 6 A Silhouette illusion.

You may have seen this illusion while surfing the net. It’s based upon your brain not having a reference point for each individual snapshot. When this happens your brain chooses one for you and each picture interpreted after will use the same reference point as the first giving the series of pictures the impression of spin. If you look at the break down of the images below you can see that each frame can actually be viewed as a sort of ambiguous illusion that shows itself and its own reflection. Once you teach your brain to see both sides of the images, you will be able to change the perceived direction of the dancer simply by blinking.

Each Limb Could belong to either the left side or right side.

Imagine how the dancer would look with each arm and leg as belonging to both her left side and right side.

There are many more examples of optical illusions found in everything from abstract painting and art, to 3D technology, to those crazy infomercials you see on TV at 3 AM. Today’s society is filled with some wonderful illusions that can capture your imagination and entertain you for hours on end. Just make sure you don’t actually “buy in” to everything you see. Seeing, shouldn’t always = believing.

7 Real Sea Monsters that Look Very Familiar

Written by Jason Scott. Posted in Daily Daft, Funny But True

#1. Henodus Chelyops

(“Turtle-Faced Single Tooth”) Late Triassic Period (200 Million years ago)

What did the Henodus look like?

No Fred Flintstone didnt run over him.

No Fred Flintstone didn't run over him.

Kinda like that turtle you ran over with your car.  Although scientifically it kind of looks like the estranged love child of a manta ray and a turtle, The Henodus doesn’t actually trace its lineage to either one.

How big was the Henodus?

It measured 1 meter in length.

What the hell was it?

Part of the ancient group of marine reptiles called Placodont’s. The Henodus is distinguishable by single tooth on each side of its mouth that was probably used for opening tasty shellfish like a cheap nutcracker.

Henodus remains have been found in non marine deposits, so it may have lived in freshwater lagoons, and likely enjoyed an amphibious nature that allowed it to lay its eggs on land, proving once and for all that the egg actually did come before the chicken.

#2. Dakosaurus

What did the Dakosaurus look like?

When the first Dakosuarus skull was unearthed in Patagonia, Argentina, the scientists quickly named it “Godzilla” due to its dinosaur type snout, and lizard like appearance. Its body was streamlined for hydrodynamic efficiency with paddles instead of feet and a finned tail.

What the Hell was a Dakosaurus anyway?

The Dakosaurus was neither a Dinosaur nor a Fish, but actually a prehistoric crocodile belonging to an extinct genus within the family Metriorhynchidae. They lived during the Late Jurassic and Early Cretaceous period

The name Dakosaurus actually means “Tearing Lizard”, and is derived from the Greek Dakos- (“to tear”) and -sauros (“lizard”).

How big was the Dakosuarus?

All currently known species would have been approximately four to five meters in length making them larger than our modern crocodiles. Try and picture a great white shark with a dinosaur head, and you’ll get the idea.

#3. Kronosaurus

3000 years before Mike Tyson said it and jonathan swift proposed it, Cronos was doing it!

3000 years before Mike Tyson said it and jonathan swift proposed it, Cronos was doing it!

What did the Kronosuarus look like?

Kind of like a cross between a Playpus and a Dinosaur, the Kronosaurus was the biggest and baddest marine predator in the western queensland of Austrailia. It has appropriately taken its name from the greek deity Kronos.

What they hell was it?

It came from an extinct genus of short-necked pliosaur, and once one of the largest of the group, hence the reference to Kronos

Just How Big Was This Thing?

It had a head the size of the average human, teeth the size of a bananas, and an approximate length of 9–10 meters (30–33 feet).

“Uhhh, is that a Banana in your mouth or are you just happy to eat me?”

#4. Tylosaurus

What did a Tylosaurus look like?

I was happier when I was doctor conners

"At the peak of my evolution I became Dr Conners"

The Tylosaurus resembled a cross between a monitor lizard and a serpent. A distinguishing characteristic of Tylosaurus is its elongated, cylindrical nose which may have been used to ram and stun prey or possibly even used for combat between its own species. (Tylosaurs were known to eat each other)

How big was this thing?

It measured about 50 feet (15 meters)

Just What the hell was a Tylosaurus?

Deriving its name from the Greek word “tylos” (protuberance, knob) and the word “sauros” (lizard) the Tylosaur was a mosasaur, (a large, predatory marine lizard closely related to modern monitor lizards and to snakes.) Of course its eating habits were probably closer to quoll or tasmanian devil of the ocean since the Tylosaurus had a varied diet that included fish, sharks, smaller mosasaurs, plesiosaurs, flightless diving birds, and pretty much anything it could torpedo down its gullet.

#5. Archelon

What did an Archelon look like?

The Archelon kind of looked like its closest living relative, the leather back turtle. It didn’t carry with it solid shell, but instead used a skeletal framework that supported a leathery or bony carapace. The Archelon can be distinguished by a pointed tail, a narrow skull, a high-vaulted shell, and a pronounced overbite.

How big was it?

Archelon (Greek meaning ruler turtle) is a genus of extinct sea turtle, the largest that has ever been documented. The live weight of an Archelon ischyros is estimated at more than 2000 kg (4500 lbs).

As big as it was however, this turtle couldn’t retract its head or flippers making it vulnerable to attacks from other predators.

#6. Temnodontosaurus

What did a Temnodontosaurus look like?

It sort of looked like flipper with an elongated snout jam packed with pointy teeth.

What the hell was a Temnodontosaurus?

The Temnodontosaurus was an ichthyosaur from the Early Jurassic, some 198 and 185 million years ago (Hettangian – Toarcian), in Europe (England & Germany). It is the only genus in the family temnodontosauridae

How big was this thing?

The Temnodontosaurus or “cutting tooth lizard” was larger than a double decker bus. Its dolphin like body exceeded 12 meters (40 ft) in length, while the eyes of the Temnodontosaurus were the size of dinner plates. Their eyes measured approximately 20 cm (8 in) in diameter making them some of the largest eyes of any known vertebrate.

All the better to see you with

#7. Enchodus

What does it look like?

It looked like its distant cousin we know as a salmon, just add a set of Sabre Teeth. Its skull had an appearance somewhat reminiscent of modern deep-sea fishes, such as the anglerfish and viperfish.

What the hell was it?

Enchodus were part of an extinct genus of bony fish with large fangs.

How big were the Enchodus?

Well, their fangs measured 6+ cm in length. Their the total body length was only about 1.5 meters, but we suspect they would give an modern fisherman a good run for their money.

The 5 Biggest Impostors in Nature

Written by Jason Scott. Posted in Daily Daft, Funny But True

Sometimes we think we are going to get something good only to get tricked at the last second by some bastard impostor.  Scientist call this phenomenon “Mimicry” and sometimes “Aggressive Mimicry” when the impostor is using it as a way to capture or kill something.

We have compiled a list of 5 impostors in nature who really aren’t what they seem at all.

#1 What do we think it is?

A Frightening venomous hooded cobra! Watch out this thing. A cobra has long fangs, toxic venom and the intelligence to use them. If you;re Hindu, you may think that this “Cobra” is a manifestation of the God “Shiva” and feel the need to kneel down praying to show your respect.

What is it really?

An impersonating bastard who just tricked you into praying to a false god. This harmless pussy assed snake is known by the name (Malpolon Moliensis) or “False Cobra”.  If it has a hood like a cobra and hisses like a cobra its not necessarily a cobra. One distinctive feature that may allow you to tell the difference between the impostor and its deadly friend is that the “False Cobra” has is a black blotch which runs from the cheek to the angle of the jaw. It imitates the Bad ass Cobra like some over confident poser by spreading the skin of its neck making you think that it is badass when really it is totally harmless to humans. On the other side, they may make a good pet since they’re pretty good at keeping rats under control and would probably be a great way to scare off any unsuspecting burglar who breaks into your home.

#2 What do we think it is?:

It looks like a Monarch Butterfly:

What it really is:

A Viceroy Butterfly.

It pretends to be a foul tasting monarch to hide the fact that its tasty enough to eat. One way to tell the difference is the black line that curves along its hind wing. Now scientists back in the 19th century found the Monarch first and assumed that the viceroy was the Mimic. Unfortunately, they didn’t actually test the theory until 1991, which tossed the theory right out the window. It now appears that the Viceroy is just as awful tasting as the Monarch, so now nobody knows which one is imitating which. Whichever way it is, were not eating either one.

#3 What do we think it is?

That depends on what its hiding from. It will impersonate anything from venomous sole, lion fish, sea snakes, sea anemones, and jellyfish

What is it Really?

Its called a “Mimic” Octopus

Discovered in 1998, The mimic octopus is the first octopus species ever observed to impersonate other animals. It has been known to mimic 15 different species by manipulating and contorting its body beyond the likes of a “Cirque du Soleil” acrobat.   Like other octopi, it can also change color.
Upon observation, the mimic octopus decides which animal to impersonate based upon the scariest thing that’s trying to eat it. If it gets attacked by a damselfish, it will turn into a snake, something that eats damselfish. It does this by turning black and yellow, and burying six of its arms.

#4 What do we think it is?

The siren song of a woman ready to “get in on”

What is it really?

A spotted Katydid who likes to eat horny male cicdas. According to the entomologists form the University of Connecticut, Storrs, this Katydid is the first documented case of acoustic mimicry used in an aggressive manner.

Like the mythological sirens who lured sailors to their doom with their enchanting voices, the katydids do the same to their prey. The clicking sounds produced by this impostor are so convincing, its like the males are on cricket Viagra chasing females wearing axe body spray for girls. At least spiders kill their mates “after” the act. The Katydid makes the cicadas life nothing short of anti climactic.

#5 What do we think it is?

video complements of clams 111’s Channel http://www.youtube.com/user/clams111

A Pink Squiggly worm that looks good enough to eat!

What is it really?

Didn't Mario Beat This Thing Already?

The Gaping Jaws of death of the Alligator Snapping Turtle. Not that its prey gets a chance to find out. The Alligator Snapping Turtle is the largest freshwater turtle in the world, and just like your common fisherman, it knows how good worms are for bait. This process works so well that some of them live to 100 years of age!

Just more proof that eating fish keeps you healthy!

Sources:
Margay There has been one report of a margay using mimicry of the cry of an infant pied tamarin to try to lure an adult tamarin within striking distance Wikipedia
Octopus Octopus: The Ocean's Intelligent Invertebrate  By Jennifer A. Mather, Roland C. Anderson, James B. Wood
Assassin bug   ^ a b Signal, A.E. . & Taylor, P.W. (2008). "Biology and life history of the araneophagic
assassin bug Stenolemus bituberus including a morphometric analysis of the instars (Heteroptera, Reduviidae)."
Katydids http://indianapublicmedia.org/amomentofscience/siren-song-spotted-katydid/
Alligator Snapping Turtle Evolution: the first four billion years By Michael Ruse, Joseph Travis

The 5 Funniest Badass Drunks of All Time

Written by Jason Scott. Posted in Daily Daft, Funny But True

#1 Charles Bukowski

Sniff Sniff.....”Your Mothers @#$# smells like.....uhh...carpet cleaner”.

Sniff Sniff.....”Your Mother's @#$# smells like.....uhh...carpet cleaner”.


Sniff Sniff…..”Your Mother’s @#$# smells like…..uhh…carpet cleaner”.

A Classic line from the movie Bar Fly. Mickey Rourke’s portrayal of the alcoholic writer Henry Chinaski is absolutely Epic. A pugilistic street drunk with class, Rourke gives us a humorously insane view into the life and mind of Chinaski’s author character.

Why He’s Funny:

The Movie Bar Fly is set in Chinaski’s personal hell, a hell he seems to need and somewhat enjoy.  Throughout the movie he delivers his lines as if he is some sort of royalty, a drunk above all the other impoverished drunks. Even when he gets the #$%t kicked out of him he seems to do it in style.

At one point he is so drunk he cant even get his key in the door lock and instead kicks it down.  Upon solving his dilemma, he immediately passes out in a chair.  Of course when he wakes up, he begins to realize that he’s in someone else’s apartment, and raids the fridge on the way out.

Why He’s Baddass:

He’s right at rock bottom with nothing to lose, and he walks around like he owns the place. Not only does he constantly fight losing battles, he enjoys it. He also seems to have a cool line for almost any chaotic circumstance. At one point he stands up to a knife wielding maniac with with his fists and ends up gutting the guy who remarks “nothing but dumb luck” to which Rourke smiles and points his finger saying “Yeah, but that counts too”

#2 Bad Santa.

Hes very naughty . . . and not very nice

Marcus: More booze, more bullshit, more butt-f$#%ing Willie: Sure, the 3 B's.

Why He’s Funny:

Hes a horny guy dressed up in a Santa suit. Billy Bob Thorton’s overall alacrity and disdain as the avatar of a drunken, hateful mall Santa is contrasted perfectly by his equally vicious accomplice mall elf.

Why He’s Badass:

Hes a bitter foul mouthed alcoholic who beats up kids and bangs women in his Santa suit.

Yes, he actually beats up a kid, but its not how it sounds. Okay, it is how is sounds, but he does it in a funny way. Essentially Billy Bob Thorton is an unloved Bad Ass Drunk, who only thinks of himself. He gets befriended by a young boy, who is being looked after by his senile grandmother. Billy moves in and finds that the young boy brings about a spark of goodness in him. At first, he just likes the fact that the kid is bringing him his morning vodka. After a while though, the Bad Santa starts to “feel” human again. When he sees the young kid being bullied by a larger kid, he steps in and beats up the lead bully. Of course, to be fair he did try and give some parenting advice in this memorable scene:

Bad Santa: Jesus, kid. When I was your age, I didn’t need no fucking gorilla. And I wasn’t as big as one of your legs. Four kids beat me up one time and I went crying home to my daddy. You know what he did?
Kid: He made it all better?
Bad Santa: No, he kicked my ass. You know why?
Kid: Because you went to the bathroom on mommy’s dishes?
Bad Santa: What the f%^k? No!
Kid: He tried to teach you not to cry and be a man?
Bad Santa: No. It’s because he was a mean, drunk, son of a bitch. And when he wasn’t busy busting my ass, he was putting cigarettes out on my neck. The world ain’t fair. You’ve gotta take what you need when you can get it. You’ve gotta learn to stand up for yourself. You have to stop being a pussy and kick these kids in the balls or something.
[the kid stares at Santa]
Bad Santa: Or don’t. Shit. I don’t care. Just leave me the hell out of it.
Kid: Okay. Thanks Santa.

# 3 Barney

Someone Spilled Beer in this Ash Tray!...Slurp

Barney: I'm Barney Gumble, and I'm an alcoholic. Lisa: Mr Gumble, this is a girl scout meeting. Barney: Is it? Or is it that you girls can't admit that you have a problem?

Why He’s Funny:

Hes the drunk of the drunks and has crazy lines like: “In case you get hungry, there’s an open beer in the fridge.”

Barney was actually inspired by “Barney Ruble” of the Flintstones, as sort of a sidekick for Homer. Later the writers would draw inspiration from a character called “Crazy Guggenheim” from the Jackie Gleason Show, and “Norm Peterson” from the 80 classic sitcom “Cheers”

Barney was even able to make a serious in depth look into his alcoholism seem light hearted by naming his biographic documentary “Pukahontas” which won first prize at the Springfield’s Film Festival over a man getting hit in the groin with a ball.

Why He’s Baddass:

He had the tenacity to take former heavy weight boxer Joe Frazier outside one on one. He also bullied homer out of the snow plow business and was accepted into one of Nasa’s space programs.

Britain’s The Guardian once said that Barney “Should be hailed for making compulsive drinking a source of comedy on US TV, a hitherto impossible dream.”
Perhaps they were right.

#4 Drunken Master.

Dr. Necrosis: You are not what I expected Agent Tag. Although your disguise as a buffon was most convincing.

Dr. Necrosis: You are not what I expected Agent Tag. Although your disguise as a buffoon was most convincing.

Why He’s Funny:

He acts out the personality of 8 Drunken gods

A young trouble maker Wong Fei Hung (sometimes dubbed as “Freddie Wong”) seems to have a penchant for getting into trouble. First he teaches an overbearing assistant martial arts teacher a lesson in humility. Then, he hits on a woman as to impress his friends, only to get his ass handed to him by her older female guardian. Finally, he beats up a young punk who just so happens to be the son of one of the town’s most influential men.

Wong’s father steps in with disciplinary action and sends Wong to be trained by a martial arts master named Begger So. It just so happens that this master has garnered a reputation for crippling his students during his training. Wong decides to flee rather than face his punishment, but finds himself in trouble once more for stealing a meal from a local restaurant owner. Luckily, when fighting off the staff of the restaurant, a drunken bum from the street comes to Wongs aid and helps him escape the brutal onslaught. Unfortunately for Wong, the drunkard turns out to be Beggar So, the Drunken Master.

The training is an effective comedy of drunken errors from 8 drunken immortals and is probably the perfect role for a young Jackie Chan.

Why He’s Badass

The Drunker he gets the tougher he gets

When drinking a potion right before the movies final fight, Wong gets a Popeye effect and becomes a serious contender for Yan (The Boss at the end of the Movie) Yan counters by resorting to his secret technique, the Devil’s Shadowless Hand, which Wong is unable to defeat. Wong confesses that he did not master the 8th last style so Beggar So tells him to combine the seven styles and create his own version of the 8th style in a sort of “Jeet Kune Do” fashion. The culmination of the 7 styles with wongs interpretation give birth into a new 8th Drunken God fighting style and Wong becomes the new Drunken Master.

#5 Withnail and I

I dont advise a haircut, man. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Hair are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.

I don't advise a haircut, man. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Hair are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.

Why He’s Badass:

He drives a Jaguar Mark 2, drinks lighter fluid and Fishes with a Shot gun. What more can we say?

Why He’s Funny:

Withnail and I gives us a view into the ups and down of two struggling, unemployed actors during the disillusionment from the 1960s love movement, into the 1970s disco era. Withnail is the overly flamboyant alcoholic contrasted by his anxiety obsessed friend Marwood.

Withnail is the embodiment of scorn and indignation over life’s injustices, and spends his days getting coins to use in the meters that provide gas or electricity, waiting in line for social security payments, or waiting for the bars to open their doors so he has a nice warm place to get drunk.

All this hard work leaves Withnail and Marwood needing a holiday and Withnail somehow convinces his crazy uncle to loan him his country cottage for a vacation (his uncle’s only companion is a cat that he is seen constantly arguing with)

Withnail and I has to be mentioned in the list of Badass Funny Drunks, even if its black comedic scorn is a little depressing and disturbing.

4 Things That Can Get you Stoned!

Written by Jason Scott. Posted in Daily Daft, Funny But True

According to Bob Dylan, “Everybody must get stoned.” At least that’s what he sings in the song “Rainy Day Woman” which was banned by some radio stations due to the “Reefer Madness” at the time. We at Daft Gadgets have challenged Dylan’s philosophy, by compiling a list of things proven to get people stoned to death, in the hopes of helping our readers avoid such a horrible experience.

#1 Prophesying

Taken literally, prophesying could be anything from a weatherman to a economist.

In this day and age, we have learned to take horoscopes, weather forecasts, and the latest version of Y2K with a grain of salt. Years ago however, things were different.  A false prophesy could ruin the leader of an entire nation.

When the Aztecs saw the approach of the conquistadors, they reported to their great leader that there were mountains on the water moving toward Mexico. Their leader, Monteczuma, upheld the prophesy that the wind god Questzalcoatl would return in the year 1519 or “1 Reed, 9 Wind” according to the Aztec calendar which just happened to coincide with the arrival of Cortes. When he arrived, the Aztecs viewed him as the Feathered Serpent God of the Wind who had returned from his study abroad in “the Abyss” to reclaim Mexico.

As you can tell the resemblance of Cortes and Questzalcoatl is uncanny:

Of course being confused with the legendary wind god made it much easier for Cortes to slaughter them. Gradually the great Aztec empire was stripped of its gold relics which were then melted down, and their great leader Monteczuma was gradually turned into a puppet. In the end, the Prophesy killed him, as Monteczuma was stoned to death by his own people for supporting the false wind god Cortes.

#2 Winning the Lottery

“The Lottery” says Kent Brockman “is a chilling tale of conformity gone mad”

Aint that the truth. In Shirley Jacksons town, the first thing you do after winning the lottery, is get stoned.

This video may explain more:

#3 Listening to St Peter.

Let’s face it, humans were a lot more cruel and sadistic a few thousand years ago and St Peter’s job is to get human’s through the pearly gates.

He probably has a quota to fill and shortage of good people to fill it with.

Enter Pancratius. The Patron Saint of Taormina. He withdrew from society into a cave where Saint Peter found him. Saint Peter told Pancratius to stop hiding in his cave and get to Sicily where he will become the first bishop of Tauromenium. This sounded like a good idea at the time, and Pancratius set out on his mission. Unfortunately for him this was a trap, and Pancratius was stoned to death by pagans, but hey, a quotas a quota.

#4 Pissing off Vikings

“Excuse me sir, have I told you about our lord Jesus Christ?”

Why Wouldnt a Viking Want to Kill this Guy?

Why Wouldn't a Viking Want to Kill this Guy?

Yes, Jehovah’s Witnesses generally get let off the hook when they attempt recruitment in today’s modern world. This is probably due to the fact that they have learned who to piss off and How far they can go and when to stop.

Finding god and religion is great, and its wonderful if you become enthusiastic about it and want to share you experience with others. However, it still requires enough common sense to not go running into a synagogue or mosque preaching about Jesus during their prayer time. This is just common sense and good manners, at least you would think.

Amateur proselytizers like Saint Eskil however, had to learn their lessons, the hard way. Around the year 1080, Saint Eskil decided to take his journey and bible into the Viking holy land of Stangnas. There he decided that it was a good idea to inform the heathen Vikings (who were in the middle of a prayer session) that they were praying to the wrong god, and they needed to accept his version of religion as the one true religion. Unfortunately for Eskil, the punishment for disrupting a Viking holy ritual was Stoning.

Our advice, Don’t piss off a Viking

Source: Catholic Encyclopedia

http://tinyurl.com/witchesstoning

Sources:

The Bible: Leviticus

A history of Rome: Amply illustrated with maps, plans, and engravings By Robert Fowler Leighton

Mythology: Myths, Legends and Fantasies  By Struik Publishers, Janet Parker, Alice Mills, Julie Stanton

God’s 5 Favorite Ways to Kill Us

Written by Jason Scott. Posted in Daily Daft, Funny But True

In terms of wiping out humans God has got it down to a science.  In General, God uses 5 different Classical Elements to kill us.  Now this list we’ve compiled is by no means meant to be judged in number of human deaths.  We are merely pointing out the death toll in some cases because we feel it is amusing to people who are alive.  Surely in all fairness, the dead people enjoy laughing at living, so its our stance that there is no need to feel ashamed at laughing at them.  Fair is Fair.

Now on to God’s First Weapon of Choice…..

#1 Land – Earth Quakes

nasaimages.org

One way God lets us know he’s really pissed off is with earthquakes. Earthquakes are measured on the moment magnitude scale which has replaced the Antediluvian (yes we intended that pun) Richter Scale. The moment magnitude scale doesn’t saturate its higher magnitude range so people no longer have to judge the severity of an earthquake by the intensity of the on site reporter.  As former Gov. Schwarzenegger says “See you at the party Richter!”

How does God do it?

Earthquakes are vibrations in the huge pieces of earth called tectonic plates. These tectonic plates are essentially floating on the melted core of the earth where they bump and grind with each other like a cheesy 70s dance. This grinding leads to an increase in pressure. When God releases this pressure by making the 2 plates slip, those living on top of the tectonic plates experience an earthquake.

What was his Biggest?

The Biggest Earthquake God sent to to destroy us was probably the Great Chilean Earthquake. Almost 25% of the worlds earthquake energy between 1906 – 2005 was concentrated in the Great Chilean Earthquake. It measured 9.5 on the Moment magnitude scale and in Echidna like fashion, spawned multiple concomitant natural disasters including: Floods, Landslides, Tsunamis and even a volcanic eruption!

Now, the Death toll was pretty low, but the psychological damage had people freaked out so much the resurrected the ritual of human sacrifice. Poor 5 year old Jose luis Painecur had his arms and legs chopped off and was stuck in the sand as an offering to the ocean.

Q:“Hey Kid what do you want for your 6th birthday?”

A: “How bout my f@#$ing Limbs back you Bastards!”

Compared to the awesome vengeful power of Mother Nature’s greatest weapon, a nuclear strike doesn’t really seem that bad. At least an implosion seems like you’re going into the light.

Now lets look at some of Gods lesser weapons that can be spawned by this horrible weapon…

#2 Water – Tsunami

For those who saw the movie Point Break back in the 90s Bodhi’s dream was to ride a giant tsunami during what he called the “50 Year Storm” If you go back to 1987 there was a movie called “Back to the Beach” where the main character regained his surfing rep by taking on “The Big Kahuna”

Although we believe the idea of surfing on top of a title wave as you crush scampering villagers under you surf board a very humorous concept, it may not be practical in real life.

Make no mistake about it. Tsunamis are sent to kill you.

How does God do it?

With earthquakes, generally, but sometimes he’s just trying to show off

What was his Biggest?

In real life the largest tsunami was probably in 1958s Latoya Bay of Alaska. It was caused when God made huge rock fall into the ocean from 3,000 feet above. This created a 1,720 foot tall wave (about a third of a mile), the highest ever recorded in history. We cant really say that god was out to get anyone with this wave since it had a zero death toll, while the 2004 Indonesian Tsunami killed almost 230,000 people. But what we can say that the Latoya Bay wave was 17 times bigger than that one.

#3 Fire – Volcanoes

Deep from within the molten core of the earth or from a lightning bolt in the sky, god uses fire to give us a taste of hell. Breathing, consuming and multiplying, Fire is thought by many to be a life form in itself.

The largest forest fire in history is probably the Miramichi Fire in New Brunswick 1825. Like most forest fires, the Miramichi Fire was probably started by some foolish humans, and not Gods fault.

Volcanoes however, are another story.

Hiroshima was just another lame attempt to impress Mommy and Daddy

Hiroshima was just another lame attempt to impress Mommy and Daddy

How Does God Do it?

Like an earthquake, when two tectonic plates come together one gets forced underneath into the hot mantle (a layer under mother nature’s skin that is a “hot spot“. Kinda like an erogenous zone) God then stimulates this zone as a way of increasing pressure and heat. The result is that some of the rocks in the tectonic plate melts and become what is known as “magma” which is released in the form of an eruption, kind like an orgasm.

What was the Biggest?

The super-colossal eruption of Mount Tambora on April 1815. This Eruption was rated 7 on the Volcanic Explosivity Index, dwarfing all other eruptions in history (the exception possibly being the Lake Taupo eruption in 180 AD that nobody was around to see)

Mount Tambora killed around 71,000 people and created what was known as the Volcanic Winter. 1816 became the “Year Without a Summer” because of the effect it had on the North American and European weather. It also created the worst famine of the 19th century as Agricultural crops failed and Livestock perished. All in all, a volcanic eruption sent by God, gives up all a little taste of hell on earth.

No wonder so many Religions regard Sex as “Evil”

#4 Wind – Tornado

They are known to move from house to house, demolishing one and leaving another untouched. They don’t appear to have any set path and can changed direction on a whim. Some people think they can hide under an overpass and escape from the twisters laser like precision, but they could easily find themselves dead wrong.

Next to disease, the tornado is Gods most precise weapon.

How Does God do it?

Believe it or not, God gets pretty bored. The weather for him is kind of like a Roman Colosseum where the warm, wet winds form the Gulf of Mexico battle the cold dry winds from Canada. The Battlefield where they meet is known as “The Dry Line” The cold Canadian wind attempts to push down the Warm and moist. Gulf of Mexico air, while the Mexican air fights back using the suns heat reflected from the ground below. As the Canadian air begins to sink through the rising Mexican air, the Mexican air begins to spin upward. The result being a tornado.

What was Gods Biggest?

Like toilets, Tornadoes rotate clockwise in the southern hemisphere and counter clockwise in the northern hemisphere. They are measured on the “Fujita Scale”, which measures the damage tornadoes inflicted on our inferior to nature human built structures and vegetation.

The Biggest tornado ever is hard to measure since the Fujita Scale is fairly new. As far as destruction goes, the most damaging tornado was The St. Louis-East St. Louis Tornado of May 27, 1896. It cost around $2.9 billion inflation adjusted U.S. Dollars in damages, which is like buying 10 Alaskas or renting 1000 Guantanamo bays for a year.

Tornadoes have also been known to move over 73 mph with wind speeds up to 268 mph. Which is kinda like being chased by a cheetah that doesn’t get tired. Good luck.

#5 Aether or Ether – Earth Crossers

While god may instruct mother nature to kill us in horrible way to teach us a lesson, sometimes he feels that the beings he created are a failed experiment and he needs to start over.

Enter the Asteroid.

An Asteroid is Capable of wiping out anything from an entire species to the entire planet. The death toll is by far the largest as is the impact and destruction.

How does he do it?

He lets the universe clean itself up with gravity. When small particles run into each other softly they stay together due to gravity. If left to their own devices they will eventually become a planet. If these bunches of particles cross the earths orbital path they are called Earth Crossers, otherwise they are known as asteroids.

If one of these Asteroids mysteriously get knocked out of orbit, they have a chance of hitting earth.

What was the Biggest?

Theia, The one that created the moon. Known as the Giant Impact Hypotheses.

Although another hypotheses regarding a larger asteroid has been observed.

According to an article in the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, researchers who analyzed the chemistry of ancient deposits around both China and Japan have concluded that an asteroid 3-7 miles wide hit the Earth about 251 million years ago and led to the Permian Triassic extinction event or “The Great Dying”

Asteroids are essentially gods “do over” weapons of choice, the only question remaining being, “How much more of us can he take?”

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