Mobile Phone Cases – Smart Phone Cases Are The Paragon of MP3 Protection

Written by Monte Richard. Posted in Gadgets

Media Players, smart phones, MP3 devices and the like all have one thing in common. They scratch really friggin easily.

Apparently they make these things out of butterfly wings, moonbeams and the gently mocking laughter of wealthy business executives. Your sweet new tech is sure to get scuffed within the first few hours. After a week it’ll look ragged as hell. A months worth of moderate handling will render the fragile thing all but unreadable. Your shiny beautiful baby is going to get wrecked and then what will you do? Buy a new one of course! And that’s exactly what ‘they’ want. It’s all part of the plan. You are slowly Angry Birding your phone to death because technology companies need you to buy the newest model. Face it Joe Public, you are being scammed. Fortunately we, the benevolent philanthropists of Daft Gadgets have a solution. There is a revolutionary new metamaterial that has been specially designed to safeguard your beloved devices. They call it ‘plastic’.

Behold the greatest assortment of Media Player protection devices and mobile phone cases known to man.

1 – Waterproof Gadget Case

Waterproof Gadget Case

You probably won’t see it at first but to the right of that distractingly attractive young lady is a waterproof case for your gadgets. Why do you need to go swimming with a 400 dollar phone? Because someone may call or text or you might get like an email or something. I think the real question is why does communication have to end at the edge of the pool or the bathtub or water slide? Why can’t you check Facebook regardless of the amount of dihydrogen monoxide around or above you? And the best part about this particular model is that it looks big enough to hold a sammich. Now you can text in the hot tub, and no more soggy snacks!

2 – Desktop Phone Handset Accessory

Another attractive female for another attractive phone case (check it out, her nails are robins egg blue). The Desktop Phone docking station lets you convert your sleek, modern communications device into a clunky desktop office phone. Are you clumsy? Do you often drop your phone while talking on it? Perhaps you work at a lard factory or something. Or maybe you’re blond. Well klutz, if you can’t be trusted to handle an expensive multimedia device then the Desktop Phone is for you. Or use it to surf the web while still talking to your mom.

3 – iSwim water proof iphone and mp3 case

iSwim water proof ipod case

Why is there an MP3 player in a zip lock back blocking my view of the hottie? Because it’s the iSwim!

Now you can listen to music beneath the waves. Weather you’re a recreational swimmer who likes listening to relaxing music or you’re a shark hunter who rocks out while battling the toothy hounds of Poseidon the iSwim will protect your jams.

Great for the beach, pool, tsunamis, working in Waste Water Treatment Plants, you name it! Plug it in, strap it on and you’re ready to boogie. If you absolutely cannot survive without music in a damp environment then get the iSwim bag! And it’s designed for swimming so it won’t get tangled up while your doing the breast stroke or plummeting down that 100 mph water slide.

4 – Retro Cassette Cover for iPhone

Retro Cassette Case for iPhone

Where’s the girl? Why isn’t there a female in this picture? How do they expect to sell any kind of electronic accessory without a comely lass modeling next to it? That’s just poor marketing. Or maybe there was a chick but she didn’t like your mixtape (Wilson Phillips? Really?). But wait, that’s not a cassette. It’s the Retro Cassette Cover for iPhone. That’s right, now you can disguise your technological communications miracle as a continuous playing 90 minute role of magnetic tape!

Perfect for time traveling back to the 80’s or confounding your children.

“What’s a cassette?”
“It’s the 80’s version of a CD.”
“What’s a CD?”

5 – Chococase Chocolate iPhone 4 Case

Chococase for iPhone

Chocolate. You know you love it. Chocolate is probably the most beloved confectionery treat in all of history. So why don’t you coat you phone in it? Because that would be stupid. It would melt, everything would get all sticky and it would just be an absolute mess. But the Chococase Chocolate iPhone 4 Case is the next best thing.

This tough silicon case looks exactly like chocolate. Nobody will know the difference. Why is everyone looking at you funny? Probably because you’re talking into a candy bar. Who are you trying to text, Willy Wonka? And the best part is that when your done you can always eat the case! (No, it’s not real, please don’t eat it.)

What kind of person encases their phone in the Chococase? The kind who loves their device so much they’d eat it if they could (or the kind who likes to torment diabetics).

 

6 – Bottle Opener Case for iPhone 4

bottle opener iPhone case

What happens if you’re talking on the phone and you need to be drunk…immediately. We’ve all been in that situation. Maybe your ex is calling to say they gave your cat away. Maybe you’re boss is chewing you out for drinking on the job…again. Or maybe you just won the Noble Peace prize and you need to get your celebration on. Thats when you need Bottle Opener Phone case.

The Perfect gift for badass drunks, this is a device that says ‘Yes, I am successful and techno savvy, but I’m also ready to break open a brew and get sloppy at a moments notice.’ If you’re at a party it’s a great way to crack open a drink for the ladies. ‘Hey darlin, I’ll get that for you…and while I’ve got my phone out why don’t you give me your number.

Some might argue that putting a primitive pry bar on an expensive communications device is awesome. And we’d like to second that opinion.

 

 

Don’t forget to check out our complete line up of Mobile Phone Cases and MP3 Accessories available at Daft Gadgets

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Monte Richard

Monte Richard is a super villain who also writes in his spare time. He enjoys long walks on the beach, scented candles, and total world domination. You can check out his articles at Cracked.com (http://www.cracked.com/members/thelastmonte/) or on his blog, thelastmonte.wordpress.com

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