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Posts Tagged ‘daft gadgets’
So, you’ve got the latest and greatest cellular smart phone super handheld turbo techno marvel huh? Sweet. I bet that thing burns through some batteries though. All you need now is a place to set it up so it can charge. You need a cradle for your new baby. A bed to tuck it away so it can rest up and get its juice back. Something to give your wonderful new toy a boost so you can get back to your important work (or Angry Birds or Words With Friends).
Unfortunately we don’t have any products that could help you out. Not a one. Sorry, but we don’t carry any iPod, iPhone, or MP3 chargers at all, in the least, ever, under any circumstances. You are on your own friend. One day soon the battery on your poor media device will run down and then you’ll be out of business. No more phone calls or texting or pictures of funny cats for you. That will be a sad day.
It sure would be nice if we had a great selection of cradles and chargers to meet every taste and need. Maybe some for the office, a few for the traveler on the go, perhaps even one or two for the outdoorsy types. But alas we at DaftGadgets.com simply do not carry any chargers whatsoever, at all. Nope.
1) Mobile Phone Chargers – Universal Desktop Charger
Now if we had chargers, and we’re not saying we do, because we don’t, then the Universal Desktop Charger would be a the top of the list. This sleek, stylish cradle is perfect for any office setting. You depend on your phone. You’re contacts, emails, pictures, addenda, and who knows what else is on this small candy bar sized device.
Don’t just throw your phone on the desk when you walk into the office. Don’t let it float aimlessly around your workspace like some sort of techno vagabond. Get your device a home of it’s very own with the Universal Desktop Charger.
Now you won’t have to pick up or hunch over your phone every time you want to access an app because it’s sitting up facing you. With the Universal Desktop Charger your device is always ready for work. When you’re not using it you can use it as a candy bar holder too. And did we mention that its ‘universal’? That means it can charge anything in the universe (probably).
2) Mobile Phone Chargers – iPower Station For iPod and iPhone
Your boss is calling and he needs figure for the client right now, immediately, at this very instant, no he can’t wait. Unfortunately it’s eight at night and you’re out catching a bite to eat with a very hot date. But it’s all good. You can get everything he needs right from your smart phone.
Ah the wonders of technology. You tend conduct a large portion of your business over and through your phone anyway so this is no big deal to you. In fact, you’ve been on the phone all day long…which is why you’re battery is about to die. Now you’re toast. It took an hour to get this table and your boss isn’t going to accept ‘I forgot to charge my phone’ as an excuse…and where is that waiter with your appetizer? But then you suddenly remember that you have the iPower Station for the iPod and iPhone. Slap it in and voila, you’ve just bought yourself several hours of phone (or music) time.
The iPower Station is a back up battery that plugs straight into your docking station port and being the smart tycoon that you are you never go anywhere without it. Now you’re boss is happy, your date is impressed, and a stern glance from you got those appetizers to the table lickity split.
Don’t let a dead phone ruin your day. With the iPower Station you’re always prepared.
3) Mobile Phone Chargers – Emergency Phone Charger
Lets say you don’t own an iPod or an iPhone. In fact, you don’t have any Apple products at all. Not that you don’t have nice stuff. You probably have tons of great devices. MP3 players, phones, cameras, concealed video equipment, listening devices, electric tooth brushes, the works. Well if you’re job depends on this equipment then you need One back up battery to rule them all, the Emergency Phone Charger!
This device is powered by a common, run of the mill AA battery. Plug it in and it’ll give you a few extra hours on your devices. No fuss no hassle no charging it up. As long as you’ve got access to batteries you’ll be set. It’s great for situations where you can’t get to a power source for a while. And the Emergency Phone Charger comes with seven different adapters to fit just about any modern cellular device.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve got a Sonny, Nokia, Samsung, and a Blackberry (why do you have so many phones?) it will power them all equally. The Emergancy Phone Charger is even compatible with iPods…even though we already said you don’t have any Apple products. Maybe you’ll get one for Christmas or something. Who knows?
4) Mobile Phone Chargers – Solar Power Charger Case
Camping, hiking, and biking are great ways to get away from the stress and toil of the modern word. Getting back outdoors is so invigorating, so liberating. You’ve needed this change of pace for a while now. A chance to just unwind and reboot your system without having to worry about the hustle and bustle of normal life. And yet you still brought your cell phone along any way…just in case. But that’s all right because with the Solar Powered Charger Case you’ll always be able to use your gadgets (even when you’re supposed to be relaxing).
This little pack comes with a solar panel to soak up the suns rays and converts them into electrons for your phone. The Solar Power Charger Case comes with adapters for just about every phone type and it’s also a case where you can store you’re device when it’s not in use (which should be never, because you’re on vacation, remember).
So just chill out, soak up as much nature as you can, and try not to check your Facebook account every few hours. Yes, you’re addicted to your gadgets and the Solar Power Charger Case is a great way to enable your habit, even when your ‘roughing it’.
5) Mobile Phone Chargers – Wind Up Mobile Phone and iPod Charger
The world has come to an abrupt end. It’s Mad Max, post apocalyptic, end of civilization time. You’re one of the soul survivors of this barren wasteland. Maybe you’ve got like a dog or something as a companion.Though really, you’ll probably just end up eating him sooner or later.
But thankfully you’ve got your iPod. Humanity might be an endangered species that wrought hell on earth through their greed and pride, but at least you’ve got some tunes to listen to. But oh wait. You forgot your charger back at that nuclear crater you used to call home. Not that there’s any power running anywhere anyways. The infrastructure that delivered all our modern conveniences has pretty much been obliterated at this point. And solar energy is a bust because the skies have been stained black with ash and sin.
Fortunately you had the foresight to bring alone your Wind Up Mobile Phone and iPod Charger!
That’s right, when all else fails you can still cram electrons back inside your magic music box with this hand crank charger. Sure, it’ll take a while but you’re sitting in the middle of a barren wasteland. You’ve got time.
And the Wind Up Mobile Phone and iPod Charger also has a built in flashlight, so bonus! The rest of humanity might have been blasted back into the stone ages, but as long as you’ve got your Wind Up Mobile Phone and iPod Charger you can still listen to the greatest hits of Lady Gaga!
You Can See our Complete Line Up of Mobile Phone Chargers in Our Gadget Shop
Everyone hates the office. Even those who like the office, love to hate it. Be it because of the demanding tps reports from an annoying micro-manager like Bill Lumbergh, or just because they don’t like being told what to do. Either Way, there is an ever growing market for things that make the workplace “suck less” (yes this is a reference to the vacuous void created when your brain shuts down creativity and focuses on menial tasks)
The Following Office Gadgets are sure to make any office employees less suicidal
Office Stuff – Like, Dislike, Win and Epic Fail Stamps
Nothing says you like someone like a stamp on their forehead. Unfortunately, inking the heads of coworkers or employees with a like or dislike button could get you into trouble with the law. Depending which part of the employee’s body you stamp, you could also find yourself in the middle of a sexual harrasment suit.
However, this doesn’t mean you can’t let others no how you feel. Next time you read a proposal get out one of these office stamps and get your point across.
The epic win/fail stamps
Not just for cool teachers, epic stamps are only to be used when something is really great, or so terrible that you wish you ripped your eyes out to save yourself from the experience.
Now if you are looking for something a little less dramatic, you can use the like/dislike stamps. Although these can be used sadistically to hurt peoples feelings, they can also be used to grade work, on empty food wrappers, Movie stubs, and even new bills that pass through congress.
Use your imagination and you’ll soon realize that there is an entire world out there just aching to hear your opinion on stuff.
Office Stuff – USB Flash drive Voice Recorder
Have you ever had a million dollar idea, only to forget about it and later see it brought to market by some would be thought thief? If so, don’t be victimized by thought theft again!
According to the 100th monkey effect, if you experience events that inspire an idea, then its likely someone else will too. After 100 people (a.k.a monkeys) experience similar events that lead to the same inspiration, your idea becomes worthless because it now belongs to the entire populace and those who have more money and resources than you will create it.
Don’t let these ideas get away. When brilliance strikes, record it with a usb voice recording flash drive, and be one of the first 99 monkeys to earn some credit.
Office Stuff – iPhone 4 Desktop Phone
Okay, its cool to have an iPhone, but not so cool in the office because you look like you are talking to your friends. This is where the desktop iPhone comes into play.
Its great as a desk docking station for your iPhone that lets you access your schedule, make notes or input new data, but it also allows you to make video call too!
The phone also works hands free with a built in speaker system (a speaker system that also plays music) so you can put your hands behind your head and lean back like any over paid business professional.
The best part is, when you talk over the desk top phone, everyone will think your working instead of gabbing on your iPhone! (Okay, maybe the best part is not losing your intelligence from exposure to cellphone radiation)
Office Stuff – The Desktop Mini Shopping Cart
Let’s face it. We are all happier when we are buying a new toy or gadget. Placing the mini shopping cart on your desk doesn’t just keep your pens and other stationery all organized, it also reminds you that working throughout the day will eventually bring you money that you can use to buy things, which is a pretty good motivator for improving office productivity.
So go ahead and pick up a mini shopping trolly and don’t be afraid to charge it to the company as a business expense.
Office Stuff – The USB Microscope
Imagine what a hero you would be if you suddenly discovered and outbreak of Ebola or that zombie making T-virus we keep hearing about. Or what if you discovered penicillin 2 (and upgrade from the previous version) while studying a new type of mold that can only found on lunches left in the office fridge for more than 30 days? The point is that you can’t make scientific discovers that will better your company and all of humanity if you are stuck in a cubical looking at spreadsheets.
The USB Microscope isn’t about goofing off during office hours. Its about activating the creative scientific genius inside your brain that can only improve your overall productivity.
Sure, maybe you’ll end up wasting time studying the bacteria on your tongue or the hair follicles on that favorite employee you’ve been stalking. Either way, the usb microscope is an office gadget for any true geek.
Office Stuff – The Magic Rotating Globe
Every cool office needs a globe. A globe tells those who visit that you are an international player and that you were not afraid to cheat to get ahead in geography class.
Now you could choose a “non geek” globe, that is hundreds of dollars and made out of nicely stained wood or, you can choose a globe that says “I’m technologically advanced and most likely more evolved than other non geeks in the business community so do business with our superior organization”
The Magic Rotating Globe gently spins its accurate mapping as if it was truly floating in space. A real attention getter, the 14 inch globe can sit right on top of your desk without taking up too much space.
The best part is that it will leave everyone who see it wanting one of their own.
Office gadgets make a bad thing good and a good thing great. Whether you hate or love your job, some cool office stuff just makes the time pass quicker (note: This principle does not apply to our backwards moving clocks).
Check out our complete line up of office gadgets in the Office Stuff section of our Gadget Shop
Everyone knows that what makes the sci fi universe fun is their cool gadgets. After all, where would the Star Wars Saga be without the Light Sabre? Probably somewhere between buck rogers and Battlestar Galactica.
Its a universal truth that gadgets make everything more fun, and that’s why science gadgets exist. Because some people find learning “Boring,” Not because learning isn’t fun, but because effort just isn’t as entertaining as it used to be before television was invented. Hence the need for Science Gadgets.
Science toys and gadgets stimulate learning and exploration. Have you ever wondered what the mold on that lunch that was left in the fridge looks like up close? Do you think you can turn it into penicillin? Well, a USB microscope may be your best bet. Do you think telling Girls about the stars in the sky may increase you chances of getting happy time with them? Then learn the fun way with a home planetarium.
Here are just some of the cool science gadgets available at Daft Gadgets.
Newton believed that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. So if you punch someone in the face, they will punch you back (unless you are bigger than they are, then they will hold the punch inside deep within their emotions where it will manifest itself as a psychological illness) . The good news is that if you or someone you know has one of these illnesses, you may be able to get a psychologist to hypnotize you out of it.
Anyone who has watched the Mentalist knows that hypnotizing people is both cool and fun. But what if you could hypnotize yourself? Newtons cradle may help you do just that.
Just think how much better your life would be if you were able to choose to believe whatever you wanted?
Remember shallow Hal? You could could make everyone you date super hot and as a bonus, you may actually get to know their personality?
Ever wanted to take up smoking but were afraid of becoming addicted? All you have to do is hypnotize yourself into believing you are addicted already, then go out and smoke. When you are done, you just remove the hypnotic suggestion that you planted earlier and you’ll be unaddicted to smoking again. Then you can piss off all the other nicotine addicts with stories of how easy it was for you to quit due to your superior will power. (note: this is satire and not a proven method to quit smoking.)
Do you find your boss, coworkers, or partner boring to listen to? If so, you could use Newtons Cradle to master putting yourself into a trance when confronted by boring people. This way you could stare directly into their eyes and still not hear a word of their boring diatribe. Then when its your turn to say something, you just need to quote one of the lines from our bouncing magic 8 ball like: “All signs point to yes”
Remember the episode of Star Trek where Tasha Yar got killed by that black putty, its kind of like that except you control its form with Magnets!
Sci Fi lovers have always had a thing for ooze. There is just something sinister about it. The Armus alien that killed Tasha was just one example. There was a black ooze that killed the rafting pervert and his friends in Creepshow 2, and of course the entire movie “The Blob” was about black ooze (much to the disappointment of comic fans). We think its safe to say that you can add black ooze to pretty much any sci fi story and get away with it.
We don’t know exactly what you should use this magnetic ooze for, but that’s the point. You have to use your imagination.
Note: We are not responsible if the ooze is eaten, becomes radio active, sentient, or turns into Brainiac.
Is your employer wasting your life and talents by putting you in a cubicle? If so, there is a solution.
The USB Microscope will let you use the supreme genius intelligence of your brain in ways you never thought possible. After all, what would have happened if nobody realized that a moldy sammich could be turned into penicillin to help save lives?
You have a duty in this life to explore, and since you cant get into outer space yet, the next best thing is to explore the microcosm. Just think of all the things you will find with this USB microscope (we highly recommend “not” using it with an ultraviolet protein detecting light)
Of course you don’t have to use it in the office, you can take it home and inspect your dog, your kids, or your spouse, who knows what types of organisms they have brought home from the outside world?
“note: we are not responsible for any germ paranoia that results from the use of the USB microscope”
If you are not on the sinister evil genius side of learning with science gadgets you may like something that has a nice warm fuzzy type feeling to it. We’re thinking renewable energy is a great place to start!
The futuristic fuel cell car runs of salt water, and the best part is, you build it yourself! It requires no batteries, electricity, gas, or even sunlight to run.
Now we know what you’re thinking, “An engine that runs of salt water? Why aren’t we using this instead of gasoline? In fact, why aren’t we using these engines of boats?. Probably because humans become stupid when they get grouped together in packs.
Prove the theory wrong and start supporting this new technology where ever it pops up.
Science Gadgets and Toys are here to stay. So head over to our Gadget Shop and pick one out. We have science toys for kids that encourage learning, like magnetic puzzles and build your own style projects like the miniature Davinci Catapult Kit. As well there are science gadgets for adults that encourage goofing off (and learning to a lesser extent) Its the best of both worlds.
According to smart brained scientists, lighting effects your mood. They did a study where they exposed monkeys to sunlight and darkness and water and alcohol. The monkeys who got sunlight were all socially happy, while the monkeys who were deprived sunlight became alcoholics. Of course, there are some even smarter brained scientists who say that the true reasons monkeys become alcoholics is because they had a bad childhood. See NIH article: What you can learn from drunk monkeys
Now you may feel that testing the effects of alcohol on monkeys is cruel, but we feel it is still a step up from the previous studies like: “Multiple Stab Wounds May Be Harmful To Monkeys”
Anywho, back to light. Light effects your mood in many ways, which is why mood dictators and thought police probably invented mood lighting in the first place. The good news is that you when you get home, you no longer have to accept the government mood lighting of street lamps or the suicidal fluorescent lighting found in the office. You just need to grab one of the light gadgets found below to find a happier mood in no time.
Light Gadgets – The Moonlight Cushion
The moonlight cushion adds a rainbow of color to any place you can put your feet up. Its quite possible that somewhere some evil corporation is enslaving leprechauns, forcing them to add a rainbow to each cushion, but more likely its a low power soft LED light that gives the moonlight cushion its power.
Watch as the colors hypnotize you into a deep trance. Once there, you can have someone make positive suggestions that can help you do anything from exercising more, to overcoming your deep rooted fear of clowns!
Note: if you are afraid of clowns don’t read article: Crazy Ass Pyscho Clowns You Don’t Want Under Your Bed.
Light Gadgets – LED Bulb
Tired of wasting electricity on some inferior light bulb that only lasts about 1000 hours and only projecting one color from the light spectrum? Sure, you could paint your light bulbs and risk electrocuting yourself or others when you change them during parties, or you can buy and LED Mood Bulb and blow the minds of your guests with superior powered party mood lighting!
The LED Mood Bulb lasts over 50,000 hours, which is a lifetime if you live in Swaziland or you are a knight from the 1300s. This light gadget allows you to adjust the brightness intensity, choose between 16 different colors (4 auto changing colors). The LED Mood light also lets you choose from 4 lighting effects including: Strobe, Flash, Fade, and Smoooooth.
Light Gadgets – DIY Laser Light Show
When you arrive at a party does the hostess ask questions like “Is that a laser show in your pocket or are you just happy to me?” If so feel free to flash the entire party a view of the pocket laser light show.
This DIY laser show lets you jack up the speed dial for when the best get pumping fast, or take it down a notch if you want the party to get a bit smoother. Also it comes with its own tripod so you can just set it up and let it do its thing (the laser light show is sound reactive.)
Light Gadgets – Laspro Spirograph Laser Projector
If you are looking for a more “retro” oriented laser projector you can check out the Laspro Spirograph sound reactive laser projector. Most of us who weren’t neglected by our parents got to play with a Spirograph when we were kids. Sure, maybe you got an etch-a-sketch or a lite-bright instead, but somewhere, either at a friends house, at school, or during the secret evaluation the government does on children to see if they are worthy of society or better off as organ donors, we all came into contact with a Spirograph. It was a way to draw while staying inside the lines while still opening our imagination to new and interesting shapes. Kind of like cheap drugs for kids.
Anyway, now you can bring back those memories and realize once again that there is more to the universe that just a square, circle and triangle.
Light Gadgets – The Astro Eye Planetarium
By far one of the most popular light gadgets around, the Astro Eye Planetarium brings the night sky into your home. No, it doesn’t bring in the smog and pollution to poison your children the way that nature has since she took up smoking. This light gadget projects the stars of the universe on your walls and ceilings.
The good news is that it can project a night sky with or without constellations. Both can be very relaxing. Unless of course you are an Astrologer and you see that the constellations are predicting your death, then this light gadget may not be for you, but for everyone else, the astro eye is a great experience
Light Gadgets – The LED Car Emoticon
Sometimes horn honking, finger gestures and getting out of your car with a lead pipe in your hand just isn’t a practical way to communicate with other drivers.
We can all probably agree that our moods are contagious. When a driver does something stupid, and we’re sure it wasn’t us this time, we know they are an idiot and need to be told. The problem is that they are protected behind a windshield and can’t hear what we have to say. Sure, some of us know some sign language, but in the end a lot of people take out their frustrations on McDonalds employees who forgot to ask us if we wanted to super-size our orders, leaving us with with a kids meal portion and no toy to make us happy.
We say, instead of passing on only our bad opinions creating negative energy in the universe and leading us to overeat fast food, why not spread “positive emotions” and spread smiles and happiness, and thoughts of puppies and such.
The Drivemocion LED car sign does just that. Not only does it have a smiley face and wink, it also has a thank you sign and a “sorry” sign “a.k.a I’m an idiot sign”. See, it Mcdonalds that had it right all along, when they offered smiles on their menu for free. Next time you’re at McDonalds, ask them for a few smiles to go and pass on some fun. If they don’t smile a few times into a “to go” bag, call the manager and threaten to sue for false advertising.
You Can Check Out Our Complete Selection of LED and Light Gadgets in the Geek Toys and Gadgets Section of our Gadget Shop
Many of you may have heard the story of how a saloon owner named John Schrank was instructed by Ghosts (specifically the ghost of William Mckinley) to assassinate Teddy Roosevelt. He attempted to do this by shooting Roosevelt in the chest before his famous speech in 1912. Those of you who know the story, know that Teddy decided to deliver the 90 minute speech anyway, even though there was a bullet lodged in his chest.
This gives him a very honorable mention in the Daft Gadgets list of Nearly “unkillable” people. However some people took more than one measly bullet (Leon Trotsky got an Ice Axe plunged into the back or his skull before getting pissed off and spitting in his would be assassin’s face!). And others, who exited in a blood bath left there bodies, not because they were dead. But because, they didn’t want to hang around in their now mutilated bodies.
What can we say, we at Daft Gadgets really favor the stories of those who are bad ass enough to face certain death just to see how long they stand up against impossible odds.
Kind of like the final moments of this guy:
Which brings us to our first example…………………
1. Pablo Escobar
Head of the Medellin Drug Cartel back in the days of Miami Vice, Escobar quickly became public enemy number 1 in the United States, so much in fact that a special task force made up from U.S. Delta Force operatives, SEAL Team 6 and Centra Spike was commissioned to take him out with the help of the Colombian police task force known as “Search Bloc”.
Upon tracking him down, Escobar (who we can only assume had seen the 1983 movie “Scarface”), stayed true to his words: “I prefer to be in the grave in Colombia than in a jail cell in the United States” and began his final stand in Tony Montana like fashion.
Jumping from rooftop to rooftop, Escobar took a hailstorm of bullet wounds to his legs and body, only to finally be taken out by a kill shot through his ear. Like the unsinkable Bismark under British Bombardment, it was unclear whether the fatal wound on the unkillable drug lord was self inflicted, or if it came from one of the members of the Search Bloc.
It took over 50 years to find the scientific evidence that the Germans sank their own unsinkable ship, and without cryogenic freezing or inception like technology, it is unlikely that we will every know for sure regarding Escobar.
2. Fidel Castro:
“Fight Against Impossible Odds and Win” – Poster Translation
The movie titled 638 ways to Kill Castro got its name for a reason. According to Fabian Escanlante (Castro’s official life protector), 638 is the number of times the CIA and other Castro haters have attempted to assassinate Castro. The documentary goes into detail about plots using exploding cigars, poison pills, La Femme de Nikita type hit women, fungal infected scuba suits, Mafia style shootings, a poison syringe in a fountain pen, and even a radio station rigged with noxious gas!
Yes Fidel Castro is probably the most notorious assassination escape artist in history, known from the world of politics to pop culture. Of course some assassination plans are better than others.
COTTON: Fine, you sissy girls, I’ll row to Cuba myself! Hell, I’ll swim to Cuba with this wrench between my teeth! Then I’ll pose as a beautiful female plumber, and when the toilet clogs at the Presidential palace, I’ll… I’ll… oh. I just wanted to kill Castro!
HANK: I know, Dad. I know.
– King of the Hill.
He Doesn’t look so tough in the picture?
As the German disco group Boney M sang, Rasputin was a hard person to kill. With enemies all around from his drinking and lusting for power, Rasputin had more than one attempt on his life, on more than one occasion.
His Doctrine was to attain divine grace through sin, which basically means he started a religion that called for you to get drunk, have lots of sex, and take bribes. Generally the church would be able to do away with such a compelling competitive religion, but unfortunately for them, Rasputin was protected by the Russian Queen, who believed he mad mystic healing powers to treat her son.
This protection however, only went so far.
At a certain point, it was decided that Rasputin needed to go.
On June 29th, 1914. After receiving a telegram (no not a singing telegram like in the movie clue) A former prostitute turned religious disciple (named Khionia Guseva) attempted to redeem herself with god by slicing open Rasputin’s abdomen, leaving his exposed entrails hanging out. Upon doing so she was heard to scream “I have killed the antichrist!”
Of course minor wounds like having your entrails pulled out was not enough to stop someone like Rasputin.
He would recover from this injury only to later be poisoned at a at Moika Palace with cyanide laced wine and cakes. After devouring them all and having the audacity to still live, Prince Yusupov shot him in the back with a revolver and left him for dead. Yusupov later returned for his coat only to see Rasputin spring back to life and begin strangling him. Luckily other murderers were around and were able to shoot him dead again with 3 gun shot wounds.
As they eerily stepped towards his fallen body, they noticed that he was still trying to get back up. It was at this point that they began clubbing him to death. Not taking any chances they wrapped and bound his body in a carpet and threw him in the freezing Neva River where he managed to break free from his bonds, but drowned before he got out.
Is it any wonder they called him the Mad Monk? Going through an ordeal like that would send the Dali Lama to Anger Management
“I’m only happy because I still have my entrails inside me”
4. Jim Bowie
Some of you may be familiar with the Bowie Knife. Its called that because Jim Bowie became one badass son of a bitch every time he had one in his hand. The most famous time occurring during a friendly “Duel” that would later become known as “The Sandbar Fight”
On September 19, 1827 Bowie attended a duel on a sandbar outside Natchez Mississippi. When neither duelist managed to hit one another with their gun shots, spectators Cuny and Crain (who were also at odds with each other) decided that it would be a good time to settle their score as well. After all, it would be a shame to get all dress up for a duel and not see any blood.
With that Crain fired a shot at Cuny, but accidentally hit Bowie in the hip, sending him to the ground. Bowie then arose to his feet, drew his knife, and charged at Crain. Unfortunately, Crain managed to smash his gun over Bowies face as it broke into pieces and sent Bowie to the Ground. It was then that Wright (one of Crain’s supporters) shot at Bowie while he was on the ground, and then plunged his sword into Bowie’s chest.
Of course this just pissed Bowie off…
As Wright was fumbling with ways to pull his sword from Bowie’s sternum, Bowie grabbed hold of him and pulled him down into his Bowie knife (as it would become later known). Wright died instantly, but Bowie still had the problem of an annoying sword in his chest to deal with, which unfortunately made him an easier target and as such was shot and stabbed again by another member of Crain’s group.
Clambering to his feet, two brothers (Alfred and Carey Blanchard) fired pistols at him, hitting him once in the arm. Bowie was then able to draw the sword out of his chest and cut off part of Alfred’s forearm while dodging another bullet from Carey.
The Brothers then fled like the cowards they were
5. Michael Malloy, a Fire Fighter and Drunkard.
Photo not the real Malloy
Michael Malloy aka “Mike the Durable” and “Iron Mike”, was a homeless drunken Irishman who lived in New York City. As a former fireman who was down on his luck, Malloy became acquainted with five men who pretended to be his friends.
Just when things seemed to be at their worst, Malloy received the friendship of these five men and an unlimited drinking tab at their pub, which probably seemed like a godsend at the time. Little did he know, the five men (who would later become known as “The Murder Trust”) had secretly taken out insurance policies on his life. The idea was that because Malloy was so addicted to alcohol, he would accidentally kill himself with alcohol poisoning. (Little did they know that Malloy most likely had a liver sized for a blue whale.)
With the plan backfiring and Malloy not cooperating with the plan by not dying, action had to be taken. The five then came up with the idea to put anitfreeze in the liquor, but Malloy just kept coming back for more. When anitfreeze didn’t work they used turpentine, followed by horse liniment. When Malloy still came back for more, they used Rat poison in desperation.
Of course, by this time, Malloy had most likely built up a tolerance to poison and ingested the Rat poison with little problems other than a “bad hangover” which just required more booze to cure.
Realizing that if they didn’t collect on the insurance policy soon that Malloy was going to drink them out of their profits, The Murder Trust tried using raw oysters soaked in methanol and a sandwich of spoiled sardines mixed with poison and carpet tacks. All of which Malloy swallowed into his iron stomach.
Realizing that Malloy could probably ingest pretty much anything and still live, it was decided that the best way to kill him was to freeze him to death. This time, they waited until Malloy passed out from too much booze, carried him into a park in -26 degree weather, dumped him in snow and poured five gallons of water on his bare chest.
Of course, he showed up the next day for his free drinks. Pissed off, they drove over him with a taxi moving 45 mph, which finally at least sent him to the hospital . After being gone for 3 weeks, The Murder Trust assumed they had finally killed him. When he showed up for drinks again, they threw caution to the wind and put a hose in his mouth that was connected to a gas jet. He was finally pronounced dead of lobar pneumonia.
In contrast, 4 or the 5 men involved died in the electric chair known as “Old Sparky”. And it only took one try.
We all want to smell like something other than armpits, sweat, and food remnants that get released through our pores. More importantly however, we want to smell like something the opposite sex is likely to want (which unlike us, is desirable).
Knowing this, fragrance designers around the world have spent millions of dollars they didn’t have through questionable research applications trying to find the perfect scent. Why? So that they may put it in a bottle and use it to disinfect humanity from its own stench.
From Political fragrances that smell like democrats, republicans, or independent voters, to colognes that make the wearer feel like a soon to be dead red shirt wearing extra in a low budget Star Trek episode, there is most likely now a cologne for literally any occasion.
Below are just a few of the geekiest colognes we could find while surfing the internet pretending to be working…..
The First is….
Play Doh Cologne
If you think that Play Doh cologne is meant for old men who expose themselves to children at Disneyland, you’d be wrong.
Play doh cologne is meant for `highly-creative people, who seek a whimsical scent reminiscent of their childhood.” according to the Play Doh cologne manufacturer.
As everyone knows, life always gets worse, which in turn makes our past and childhood seem happier than it really was. This is why we are always looking back on the “good old days” and why it is never the “good old days” right now. Companies know this and attempt to cash in on this imaginary happiness via means of nostalgia.
The hope here is that people will associate the Fragrance with bright colored crayons, finger painting, sculpting, (and all the other creative things we learned that that we can’t make a dime off in today’s modern world) and believe once again that someone like our boss will come down and say. “That’s an exceptionally artistic pie chart you made. Good Job.“
For those of you who love the smell of bacon, there is now a way to attract love interests of the same nature. Although we believe that bacon would be a better scent to attract men to women (in perfume), bacon cologne could land you an obese wife or possibly a really good licking poodle.
On a darker side, if you’ve seen the movie deliverance, you may want to avoid wearing it on hunting trips.
Flame –Burger King Cologne
The legendary Burger King Cologne that lets you smell like what every woman wants. A juicy piece of meat!
Yes, its possible that if you don this cologne, you may offend a few vegetarian women, but look on the bright side….Just think of how well groomed you will be after licking yourself all day.
Star Trek Pon Far Perfume
What is a Pon Farr you ask?
If you’re not a Geek and are somehow reading this anyway, you may not know that “The Pon Farr” refers to the deep rooted repressed emotions that a Star Trek Vulcan experiences once every 7 years. Because Vulcans repress all their emotions, all their rage, fear, love, lust and suffering gets buried deep inside them only to be let out orgastically when they are in “heat” during the mating time of “Pon Farr”
Pon Farr perfume could help you land anything from a Nelix to a Captain Kirk.
Warning! Kirks at Comic Con may be geekier than they appear.
Other Sci Fi Geek Fragrances include: Slave Lei Perfume:
Which guy hasn’t fantasized about princess lea in a golden bikini? The Slave Lea perfume is so seducing, it even blocks out the hideous image of Jabba the Hut being in the room with you.
Of course, if your guy is a known gambler and scoundrel, there is the Eau d’ Lando cologne for men.
Well, they say chicks digg money. But Liquid money comes in both perfume and cologne, so perhaps great minds think alike in this case.
Not exactly for geeks, The idea of the “Money” Cologne is that you can create your own personal scent of success. Since, Geeks are slowing taking over the world, we think this cologne would be better off smelling like the fear of high school bullies now being chased by geek built killer robots, but money does bring back some nostalgic forms of success from the 1980s we haven’t felt since we began ranting about the blatant societal discrimination towards Generation X.
To get you in the mood for money, we’ve included Gordon Gekko’s famous speech on Greed below.
“Greed is good.”
“Greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures, the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms; greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge, has marked the upward surge of mankind and greed, you mark my words, will not only save Teldar Paper, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the U.S.A “
Quote: Gordon Gekko, Wallstreet.
You can find great Geek Gifts for Him and Her in the unusual gift ideas section of our Gadget Shop
Many of us have been in a situation where we have heard someone use a word the we have never come across. In these situations, most of us just nod and agree with what the speaker is saying rather than admit we dropped out of high school to become a professional pool player after seeing the movie “The Color of Money” back in the 80s and we don’t know the meaning of most college level words.
The truth however, is that people make up and misuse new words all the time, and more often than not, you are better off asking the speaker what the word means or what they mean when they use the word. This will improve communication between both of you and help create a deeper understanding.
(Even if that understanding is that you understand that they are a pedantic jackass.)
We at Daft Gadgets have a fun way of dealing with people who use words like that we don’t understand. When we hear a word we don’t know, we use their sentence back on them in disagreement with new made up word that we give meaning to once we know how to prove them wrong.
For example. If we ask a politician if we should raise taxes and he says that it would be “Specious” to do so, we would argue that no doing so could be “castroclarifying”, and then gradually work out what he meant by “specious” during his rebuttal.
Below are a list of 6 People who are known for pulling common words and phrases from places so mysterious, they were previously known only to proctologists.
1. Factoid – Norman Mailer
Speaking of “Made up Words”, while writing Marilyn Monroe‘s biography Mailer, attempted to find a word for the innuendo and deceptive phrase allusions used by celebrity magazines to create gossip and sell subscriptions. Essentially he need a word for the “Made up Facts” that people believe because they read them in news print. The word he chose was “Factoid”, meaning “sounds like a fact”
This definition continued until CNN started using “factoid” to mean “Its a little known fact” which was closer to something Cliff Claven would say, giving the term slightly more credibility.
“Its a little known fact that…….that cows were domesticated in Mesopotamia and were also used in China as guard animals for the forbidden city” Quote: Cliff Clavin
2. Agnostic – Thomas Huxley
When he wasn’t describing a futuristic hell like society that believed happiness could be found in the perfect pharmaceutical pill, Thomas Huxley was being criticized for not believing in any of the one true gods everyone else believed in. The term for this was Atheist.
Disliking the stigma of being an atheist or the stigmata of a true believer, Huxley created a word for people who don’t know things for sure. He named it, “Agnostic” the a prefix meaning “without” and “Gnostic” (derived from the Greek Gnostos) meaning “knowable”
The term nowadays is generally used for non religious spiritual people who believe in “something” but don’t know what it is, so to speak. The term was coined in the 1960s, but it is uncertain whether or not Huxley was stoned when he created the word.
We say probably “yes.”
3. Grok – Robert a Heinlein
The Word Grok was coined by Robert A Heinlein in his novel “Stranger in a Strange Land” The word describes having the ultimate knowledge of something’s true being (like in Star Trek when a Shape shifter becomes something, or a Trill is merged symbiotically with host.)
Although not a popular word, it is sometimes used by modern speakers to express a deep understanding of a concept, opinion, or philosophy. Originally however, the word “Grok” was meant to represent everything in science, religion, and philosophy, but that we stupid humans are unable to understand since it is like explaining colors to a blind man.
At least that’s what we think it means, assuming we grokked it correctly.
4. Gobbledygook – Maury Maverick
To U.S Congressman Maury Maverick, (Grandson of the Famous “Sam” Maverick, were the term “Maverick” meaning independently minded comes from) The world of politics was filled with a bunch of gobbling bombastic turkey’s, all strutting around and posturing while taking no action or speaking any meaning.
Above Photo” Maverick’s interpretation of a politician.
The term Gobbledygook was the name he gave to people (particularly politicians) who were purposely vague and esoteric in their speeches.
5. “Yes Man” – Tad Dorgan
The American cartoonist Tad Dorgan created a comic book about an editor and his apple polishing sycophants. The comics name was “Giving the First Edition the Once Over” and written above the name of each assistant to the editor the words “Yes Man” appeared. Since then, the word yes man has been elaborated to refer to any subordinate in business, sports, or politics who agrees with the boss no matter how wrong he or she may be.
Dorgan is actually credited with a few other phrases you may have heard of as well, including:
- “The Cat’s Meow,”
- “For Crying Out Loud,”
- “Hard-boiled,” and oddly enough
- “Yes, we have no bananas”….?
6. “Fardels” William Shakespeare
A great man once asked: What do fardels bear? And most of us who read that line went straight to the dictionary only to be left with the assumption that the writer just made the word up out of thin air.
The line comes from Hamlet’s soliloquy “To be, or not to be.” And although he may not have invented to word “Fardels” Shakespeare is credited for quite a few phrases still heard today.
In fact, Shakespeare is credited with at least 1,500 different words and phrases that don’t appear anywhere else before him. Assuming of course that Shakespeare wasn’t an impostor like the urban legends say
Below you will find a list of his more memorable made up words.
Puking – From “All the Worlds a Stage”
“All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. As, first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms.
And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. “
To be fair there are more words for puking than almost any other verb, but it puking is probably one of the top 3 synonyms for vomiting. We’d like to point out that even after all these years, some Shakespeare is still considered as “slang”
Note: We at Daft Gadgets claim the rights to word: “SpewJecting” as a new word for projectile vomiting.
Eyeballs – From A Midsummer Night’s Dream.
“make his eyeballs roll with wonted sight.”
Basically, Shakespeare is saying make him experience the loss of sight rather than the state of blindness. He’s clever like that.
Note: We at Daft Gadgets claim the rights to word: “NoseHoles” as obvious and redundant ways to say nostrils
Obscene – From Love’s Labours Lost,
“Then for the place where; where, I mean, I did encounter
that obscene and preposterous event,”
Shakespear was a master of Scenes and probably thought “There should be a word for “bad Scene” and chose “OB” to negate the word scene since “inscene” was too close to “insane”. (He may have also had a penchant for Obstetrics)
Note: We at Daft Gadgets claim the rights to word: Obplay which refers to an entire play or lifetime of bad behavior, as opposed to just a “bad scene”
The Game is A foot – Henry IV
This is kind of like when your 80s Chrysler says “A Door is Ajar.” We know a door is a door and a foot is a foot, but like “A-Jar” a door must be closed and like a foot, the game is now moving.
Yes we know this comparison is cheesy.
Epileptic – King Lear.
“A plague upon your epileptic visage!
Like “Apoplectic” (showing signs of stroke during times extreme rage or heart attack) Epileptic has taken on a meaning of extreme gesticulations to the point of a medical condition.
Thanks to Shakespeare we now know that Julius Caesar was not cursed by the gods and merely suffered from “Epilepsy”
Note: We at Daft Gadgets claim the rights to word: “Taxokleptic” which denotes a government’s taxing and misuse of tax money that is so gelasticly dark and excessive, that it constitutes both theft and a disease. (Like a fanatical kleptomaniac)
Other wonderful words that the internet credits to Shakespeare can be seen below.
It could be successfully argued that society adapted these words into their language to subconsciously bring more drama into our lives, or that people started using them because they wanted to appear more educated than the people who had never heard them before Shakespeare made them up.
Or you could argue that we didn’t check our sources well enough and that Shakespeare wasn’t a real person anyway even if we did.
Either which way, the jury is still out on these:
“Awww…he’s all tuckered out. Now he’s going to curl up in a nest of you’re socks he’s crammed behind the fridge.”
Ferrets, those mischievous masked scamps. They’re like slinky, sinuous, cats with comically long necks and bodies. These are affectionate, playful, inquisitive animals. If you get them descented they don’t smell too bad and they can be litter trained with some patience. In fact, a ferret or two would make an excellent addition to your home. Provided you can keep the darn things from killing themselves. Ferrets curiosity and energy mixed with the fact that they can squeeze into tight places pretty much guarantees that they’ll get themselves in trouble unless you ferret proof your house. If you thought babies were helpless and stupid, here are just a few of the many many things you need to do to keep your suicide prone weasel safe.
“They’re dead…but it’s still cute.”
They love holes, so plug up everything. Don’t assume your ferret hasn’t crawled into your vacuum cleaner or your drain pipes (don’t turn on the garbage disposal!). Rocking chairs and fold out beds are pretty much blunt guillotines, so get rid of them. Keep your toilet bowl lid down or they’ll drown themselves. And they love to eat odd things, so watch what you leave laying around. Vets have pulled foam ear plugs, paper clips, erasers, rubber bands, mousepad pieces, Velcro, calculator keypads, stockings out of their stomachs. Always check the dirty clothes before throwing them on to wash because rodent blood will absolutely ruin a blouse. Make sure your medicine is kept in childproof containers and is out of reach (wait…seriously?). You should also probably look into getting your ferret a bright yellow helmet with a warning label that reads ‘special’.
“The cutest animal ninja of them all.”
This ferret-monkey-bear looking thing is not only cute, but also very playful. The Kinkajou is energetic, loves to leap and climb, has a prehensile tail like a monkey and will use you as it’s personal tree. It also has a six-inch long tongue. Which is all awesome right? And it’ll bite the ever-loving hell out of you if you mess up, just like it did to Paris Hilton…twice.
Even though their diet consists mainly of fruit they have extremely sharp teeth and a strong bite. Scientists don’t really know why this frugivore even needs friggin vampire-like incisors. What kind of fruit can’t be taken out with anything less than fangs? Regardless many owners swear that these creatures are gentle and affectionate. Just as long as you don’t crowd them too much, don’t make too many sudden movements, respect their territory and don’t wake them up during the day. It’s also recommended that let them have their own room cuz they need lots of space. You should probably give strong consideration to turning your entire life over to your Kinkajou. It would make things easier. (So yes, it’s exactly like being married.) Follow these simple guidelines and you’ll come away mostly unscathed…probably. They also live anywhere from 20 to 40 years, so be prepared to have this hyper, saber-toothed squirrel-chimp around forever. Oh, and in at least three states Raccoon Roundworms have been discovered in the feces of Kinkajou pets…which can be fatal to humans…and Kinkajou’s can’t be litter trained (or any kind of trained actually).
“Because chicks dig vicious killer bird that can maim and/or disfigure you for life.”
Wook, it’s a soft fwuzzy widdle owl. He’s so tiny and fruffy and wovable. I wants one! Friggin Harry Potter’s got an owl mom. Why can’t I have one? Well first of all it’s illegal. But who cares right? People still keep these things. But there are other reasons that should make you reconsider adopting one of these plushy raptors. Mostly, it’s because they’re birds of prey, so besides having razor sharp claws and beaks that can cut you, your furniture and virtually anything else in your house to shreds, they’ll also see any other pets as potential food. We can’t stress enough how powerful and sharp and their talons are. They can cut you to the bone just by being playful. Some of the larger owls have a grip of up to two hundred pounds per square inch. Humans can barely squeeze for twenty.
“You’re perfectly safe as long as you don’t stop petting him.”
And if the bird has imprinted on you then it’ll think you’re its mate. Which basically means it owns you and it’ll attack anyone who comes near you. I hope you don’t plan to date. During mating season it’ll hoot and screech all night long too. And you’d better darn well hoot back and you’d better act like you like it…if you know what’s good for you. And they won’t like anyone else but you which means only you can feed them, so no vacations away from home…ever. They also have special diets which consists of whole animals. They will also throw up everything they don’t digest, like livers and intestines, so be prepared to clean that loveliness up.
2. Slow Loris
What is a Slow Loris? Watch these videos first: Slow Loris
“Feed me! The cuteness compels you.”
Holy heck on a stick!!! That has got to be the cutest thing on the face of this forsaken mud ball we call earth! That precious guy is packing some epic, weapons grade adorableness. That innocent, wide-eyed little bugger is just begging to have the heck cuddled out of him. He’s such a slow, itty-bitty monkey. It’s like a tiny, fuzzy old man. Why doesn’t everyone have one of these sweet little raccoon sloths? Because they have poisonous elbows (no, seriously). The Slow Loris has special glands in their elbows which secret a toxin that causes rapid swelling and intense pain (it’s all true, why would we make this up?). They lick their elbows so that they’re bite can deliver this venom to the bloodstream (go ahead, try to lick your elbow).
“This may look like a ‘don’t beat me’ pose, but in reality it’s getting its elbows in attack position.”
Owning one is illegal, because they’re endangered in the wild. Their poison also makes them smell like sweat socks. They like to bed down in dirty cloths hampers (cuz it smells like home probably). They have extremely sharp teeth and despite their slow appearance they can strike like lighting. The poison doesn’t kill, but it causes painful throbbing and swelling.
1. Sugar Gliders
“It’s wearing a bow! She’s a proper little lady! What…why is my arm wet?”
These lovely flying squirrel-possums are small, cute and they love to play and run around. And the best part is they can glide! You and a friend can toss one around in the back yard like a baseball (please don’t). What could be more fun and adorable than an aerial hamster with stripes like an English badger? And then it pees on you. As a matter of fact, it’ll probably do more than pee. Sugar gliders have no real control over when they defecate. When they wake up, they pee. When they eat, they pee. When you take them out to play, they pee. But don’t worry, that probably means he likes you.
“The fur bat strikes!”
Another great thing about sugar gliders is that they suck the juices out of their food. They don’t really ‘eat’ fruit. They just squeeze it to a mushy pulp and then they spit it out…all over the wall, the floor, the ceiling. These little critters are renowned for making a huge mess. They can also smell strongly (but maybe that’s because it’s covered in urine 24 hours a day). And don’t think you can get just one. Sugar gliders are social creatures and they need lots of attention or they might freak out and attack you or themselves or just straight out die. (Did we mention that in the wild they chew threw bark so you’re skin is laughably easy for them to peal away?) It’s best if you have two so they don’t get lonely. So that’s twice the mess, twice the smell but also twice the fun!
Oh, and they bark all night long cuz their nocturnal animals. Sweet dreams.
If you are looking to block out the insane barking of a sugar glider, or just the voices in your head you can try the memory foam sleep mask with headphone input from DaftGadgets.com
Maybe you’ve got the best job in the whole wide world. Maybe you get paid six figures to rub edible body lotion on scantily clad super models. Maybe you’re a world-renowned rocket surgeon with a tattoo of a flaming tornado carved into your tongue. Or maybe you just work in an office performing tasks so menial, repetitive and pointless that they are destroying your very soul. Sometimes work is fulfilling, uplifting, exhilarating. And sometimes you hate your fellow coworkers with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns. Fear not my friend. We at Daft Gadgets have got you covered. If the day ever arrives were you win the lottery and/or just outright snap then we’ve got a few things that might interest you.
1 – Blatantly Obnoxious Gadgets
At this point it doesn’t matter if you get fired right? You’re either going to be rich, or you’re on your way to a much better job, or you’ve decided to embrace the philosophies and practices of homeless vagabonds. So if getting canned is no big deal then we recommend going all out with blatantly obnoxiousness. Step one: Do you like popcorn?
Pop Corn Maker
The American Originals Popcorn Maker is a great way to make lots of racket. We suggest putting one on your desk so that you can enjoy the fluffy buttery goodness whenever you want. The innocuous little seeds of corn will detonate once they are subjected to the near super nova-like heat and pressure inside this machine. It is sure to distract everyone around you and it makes a great snack too. You can’t lose! And don’t underestimate the annoyance factor of dropping white flaky crumbs all over the floor or on everyone’s paperwork and then leaving butter-flavored grease on every surface and doorknob you come into contact with.
Couple that with the Da Vinci Catapult and you’ll be able to launch corn kernels anywhere in the office with great speed and precision. It’ll send a pile of seeds hurling up to fifteen feet! You can also use paper clips, breath mints and old chewing gum.
If you’re boss asks why you have a medieval siege weapon on your desk tell him it was the last thing your father gave you before he died tragically and that it inspires you to reach for excellence in all things (wipe away a tear at this point). Then as he turns away in defeat, hit him on the butt with corn.
2-Gadgets for Taking Out Your Boss
If there is one person who has worked extra hard to make you feel especially insignificant and useless it’s your boss. Something will have to be done about him. This may be a bit elaborate but that’s ok. He’s worth it.
First you’ll need some compromising images of him (or his unreasonably hot wife). How can you obtain these without getting caught and/or going to jail?
This mini-dvr video camera stick can record about two hours of footage. Its small size means you can hide it just about anywhere. Stick one in his office and try to get a shot of him picking his nose or adjusting himself. Maybe you know he’s having a secret tryst with his secretary after hours. Maybe he looks at dirty pictures on his computer. He’s a pretty sleazy individual. You’ll catch him doing something. And no, you probably shouldn’t put this camera in the bathroom because that’s just wrong…but then again he did pass you up for that 50 cent pay raise last quarter.
Once you have the picture you’re going to need a place to display it where everyone can get a good long look at it. That’s when you’ll need the help of a friend and the Party blimp.
This three foot long remote control blimp is specially designed to display messages and/or photos. With a range of 300 feet, get a friend to hide in his car or in a neighboring building and have him hover the Party blimp (with humiliating picture attached) outside the windows of your office. Maybe your boss is going to be in a board meeting today. Perhaps he’s with a new customer. With a good picture and fair weather you’re sure to pay your supervisor back for that time he stole your tuna salad out of the fridge. And the best part is that he’ll never know it was you! We’d also like to recommend that you have your mini dvr stick record his inevitable melt down too. Then you can use the audio to make Christmas cards with our voice recording picture post cards. Don’t let these cherished moments pass you by.
3 – Gadgets for Bringing Your Nemesis To Their Knees
There’s one person in the office that you especially hate and he or she very likely feels the exact same way about you. The constant backstabbing, the brown-nosing, the condescending manner in which they speak and act. This person is a jacktard of epic proportions and he must be humbled.
You can set the PC Prankster to interfere with his mouse at random intervals. Plug it into a free USB port on the back of his computer and then just walk away. He’ll be fighting with it all day long. Before the tech guy comes you’ll need to remove it though. Then put it back in later on. You need your computer repairman to think this guy is crazy so that he just stops coming. At that point you can deploy the most devious part of your plan. Magna Putty.
All electronics now-a-days run off of magnets. That’s why it’s really important that you keep them away from your computer, flash drives or cell phones. Unless you’re trying to sabotage some jerkwad who has made your life miserable. Then you want to put magnets everywhere and the best way to do that is with moldable, form fitting Magna Putty. You’ll need a lot of this wonder goop. You want to coat the bottom of your nemeses computer with it. That’s the last place anyone will look. It may take a while to find the right amount. Just keep adding until his machine starts to freak out. And the best part is that technical support will take their sweet time coming to fix the problem because they think he’s just a complainer. And god forbid he ever leave his smart phone hanging around. Then you can just pop the back off, and stick some Magna Putty behind the battery. No more Angry Birds for you buddy! Put Magna Putty under his monitor and stick it on the underside of his drawers where he stores his electrical devices. Saturate his desk with so much magnetism that nothing will ever work right again. And if someone ever does find the putty they probably won’t even know what it is. They’ll just blame him for being a slob. After all, he’s got all those popcorn crumbs on the ground.