Posts Tagged ‘evil’

5 Real Life Wizards You May Not Know

Written by Jason Scott. Posted in Daily Daft, Funny But True

Image thanks to Wikipedia

Image thanks to Wikipedia

Some of you may have heard of “The Legend of The Emerald Tablet” a.k.a. “The Secret of Hermes” and wondered, “Is there any reality to this wizardry?”

The answer is yes.

Now lets be clear.  At Daft Gadgets we would like nothing more than to prove that anyone of us can turn into a Jedi Knight or some cooler version of Harry Potter,  but that doesn’t mean we distort evidence to prove the existence of mythical beings.

According to “The Secret of Hermes” (based upon Hermes Trismegistus), the emerald tablet revealed the secret of the primordial substance and its transmutations. (Take That Darwin)

The Caduceus, symbol of Hermeticism.

The Caduceus, symbol of Hermeticism.

Hermes was said to have been clutching the emerald tablet in his arms in his death bed.

Although this legend is in fact “A legend,” there have been some true wizards through out the ages that you may not have heard of.

The frist being….

1. Roger Bacon aka Doctor Mirabilis

"What came first, the name Bacon, or the food?"

The name “Dr. Mirabilis” is a medieval praise meaning: “Wonderful Teacher.”

This Wonderful teacher was known as an English philosopher and Franciscan friar who studied nature through empirical methods. He is sometimes credited as one of the first European advocates of the modern scientific method that was inspired by early Greek philosophers.

As one of the first real wizards, Roger Bacon:

-invented eyeglasses,

-revealed the role of air in burning, and

-predicted inventions of the future including cars, ships and aircrafts.

His Opus Majus contains treatments of mathematics, optics, alchemy (and the manufacture of gunpowder), the positions and sizes of the celestial bodies and how they could possibly influence the fate of humans.

He was also sent to jail at one point for being a magician or “Wizard” possibly due to his arcane knowledge of alchemy.

2. John Dee 1527-1608

John Dee was a noted English mathematician, astronomer, astrologer, occultist, navigator, imperialist who devoted much of his life to the study of alchemy, divination and Hermetic philosophy.

Basically…he was a wizard.

To some of his contemporaries, Dee was an “Evil Wizard.”

This may have been due to the fact that he was always trying to speak with angles through their universal language of creation in order to bring the apocalypse.

To be fair, Dee was actually trying to bring the Pre-Apocalyptic unity of human kind with a one world religion. Unfortunately, some saw this as just another step closer to the apocalypse, which was a pretty scary thought for most people, and may have led to his charges of treason and “calculating” in the year 1555.

The Calculating charge was for casting a horoscopes of Queen Mary and Princess Elizabeth and was just the first of many slander cases against the wizard.

Dee was an intensely pious Christian wizard who believed that the nature of the universe was an act of numbering and that mankind had the potential for divine power, if they could unlock the secrets to this number through mathematics.

His goal was to recapture the knowledge of the universe through the pure theology of the ancients and bring forth a unified world.

3. Paracelsus 1493 1541

“Many have said of Alchemy, that it is for the making of gold and silver. For me such is not the aim, but to consider only what virtue and power may lie in medicines.”

Paracelsus means equal to or greater than Celsus (Celsus being the 1st century Roman medical encyclopedist.)

The real name of this wizard was Philippus Aureolus Theophrastus Bombastus von Hohenheim (yes its a mouthful).

Paracelsus pioneered the idea of small chemicals to treat illness which was the basis for our modern day pharmacology

He is also recognized as giving Zinc its name, which is really important if you can imagine a world without zinc! (see video below)

4. Trithemius – 1462 1516

Trithemius’ most famous work is the Book Steganographia.

The book appears to be about magic at first glance, however scientists now belive the book was actually about cryptography. Now, Trithemius was accused of dealing with the occult. It was probably the view of those who couldn’t read the secret messages, that if someone is hiding something, it must be evil magic (actually all magic was evil back then)

Steganographia was the first book on secret codes.

5. Nicolas Flamel 1330-1417

According to some, Flamel was the greatist european alchemist of his time.

This posthumous reputation is mostly due to his reputed work on “the philosopher’s stone.” (no he didn’t write the Harry Potter book) Yes, that’s right, Flamel is said to have created the “elixir of life” and developed the ability to turn lead into gold!

Although no formal proof of this wizard’s claims exist, Flamel and his wife were noted for their wealth and philanthropy as have provided many other interpretations on the subject of alchemy.

He has also been referenced by great names like Victor Hugo, and Issac Newton, as well as pop culture references like Indiana Jones and Harry Potter.

Test Your Own Wizardry With Our Magic Levitating Wand!

Crazy Ass Pyscho Clowns You Don’t Want Under Your Bed

Written by Jason Scott. Posted in Daily Daft

Scary_clown

Photo Compliments of Wikipedia

Coulrophobia, or “The Fear of Clowns” is much more common than most people realize.  At Daft Gadgets we have no idea why anyone would ever think a clown would be liked by children or anybody else.

According to a study conducted by the University of Sheffield, children find clown décor unsettling in hospital settings. Dr. Penny Curtis, a researcher was quoted as saying: “As adults we make assumptions about what works for children. We found that clowns are universally disliked by children. Some found them quite frightening and unknowable.”

Now at Daft Gadgets, we share a common Coulrophobic moment with a lot of others out there thanks to a movie called “Poltergeist.”

As such, we decided to put together a list of some of the most psychotic and evil clowns around.

The most obvious evil clown being……

The Poltergeist Clown

Searching the internet for relief from our paranoid thoughts of clown killers under our bed, we came across many other sites and bloggers who have shared there experiences of evil clowns.

The photo above is compliments of thepoisonforest.com who are unfortunate enough to share in our moment of childhood horror that occurred when the happy poltergeist clown turned evil and dragged the young boy under the bed.

Because the Poltergeist Clown affected so many people, we felt the need to mention it first as a way of speaking out to let you all know that you are not alone.

We found the best way to cure the fear of a clown under your bed is to actually get a stuffed clown and put it under your bed while you sleep.

Unfortunately, this also makes you a prime target for a practical joke, so its best to keep it quite. If you can’t find a clown, you can always try putting make up on an inflatable woman, which is a much more common thing to find under someone else’s bed and will not arouse suspicion.

The Fear Clown from Voyager

photo compliments of memory-alpha.org

photo compliments of memory-alpha.org

Who Could forget the evil clown from Star Trek Voyager?

What made this clown unique was that he was actually an incarnate of fear itself. The Voyager clown represented the manifestations of fear found within the minds of the characters trapped within a virtual reality artificial hibernation machine. Once his artificial intelligence became self aware, the clown attempted to maintain his survival by preventing anyone from leaving the virtual reality.

In this ironic twist, the fear of death of the participants within stasis ended preventing them from returning to life, and unfortunately, forced them to choose between facing a fear of death or a life of hell.

Killer Clowns From Outer Space

Killer Clowns from outer space was a B movie from the 1980s.

The plot revolves around an army of alien clowns who land their circus tent shaped spaceship on earth with the intentions of eating the inhabitants of a small town.

The clowns use different weapons to capture the townspeople including:

  • killer shadow puppets,
  • balloon animals,
  • cotton candy cocoons, and
  • a ray gun that mimics a play toy.

Since these methods come across as “daft” in appearance, nobody seems to take notice. If you ever run into one of these clowns, the trick is to shoot them in the nose.

Ubu Roi (King Ubu)

UBU Roi is a play by Alfred Jarry that premiered way back in good old 1896. The central character is a clown by the name of Ubu, who is notorious for his child like engagement with his imaginary world.

Ubu inhabits a domain of greedy self-gratification and is the epitome of what Jarry saw to be the modern man. Ubu is fat, ugly, vulgar, gluttonous, grandiose, dishonest, stupid, jejune, voracious, cruel, cowardly and evil.

There is nothing likeable about this clown, which is probably why there has never been a Hollywood remake.

Pennywise

Pennywise the dancing clown is known for luring children to their death.  As funny as that may seem, Pennywise is actually quite evil and sadistic.

He appears in clown form most of the time, but he has the ability to transmogrify into exactly what his victim fears most. This puts him on the toughness level of Darkseid, one of superman’s greatest foes.

Photo Compliments of Wikipedia

Photo Compliments of Wikipedia

Captain Spaulding (House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil’s Rejects)

Captain Spaulding deserves mention as one of the weirdest and creepiest clowns around. Described as a crusty looking old man in a filthy clown suit and smeared make-up, Captain Spaulding is the patriarch of the Firefly family of Devils rejects, who are essentially a family of insane murderous lunatics.

Pulcinella

Dressed in white and wearing black and white mask depicting duality, Pulcinella (often called “Punch”) is known as a mean SOB. His sadistic viciousness is only superseded by his cleverness.

To defend himself he pretends to be too stupid to understand what’s going on around him and if that doesn’t work he beats people physically.

He deserves mention mostly due to for his reputation of being the progenitor for which all evil puppets would later be based.

In Germany he became the puppet Kasper, in the Netherlands, Jan Klassen, in Denmark, Mester Jakel, in Romania Vasilache, in Hungary Vitez Laszlo, and in France he is known as Polichinelle.

All of these puppets share the story of a deformed and nefarious psychopath that typically ends up bludgeoning a bunch of people to death. His deformities may also suggests he may be embittered due to his suffering from Acromegaly syndrome.

Well ahead of his time, Pulcinella could be seen as the precursor of today’s modern slasher flicks, as well as being the first truly evil clown in show business.

“Well these are all just stories, in reality there’s no reason to fear clowns right? “

Uhhh….right. Just don’t look up “Pogo the Clown” and your Coulrophobia should stay cured.

Of course you can always pick up a light saber night light from the Daft Gadgets Shop if you’re really worried.

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