Everyone hates the office. Even those who like the office, love to hate it. Be it because of the demanding tps reports from an annoying micro-manager like Bill Lumbergh, or just because they don’t like being told what to do. Either Way, there is an ever growing market for things that make the workplace “suck less” (yes this is a reference to the vacuous void created when your brain shuts down creativity and focuses on menial tasks)
The Following Office Gadgets are sure to make any office employees less suicidal
Office Stuff – Like, Dislike, Win and Epic Fail Stamps
Nothing says you like someone like a stamp on their forehead. Unfortunately, inking the heads of coworkers or employees with a like or dislike button could get you into trouble with the law. Depending which part of the employee’s body you stamp, you could also find yourself in the middle of a sexual harrasment suit.
However, this doesn’t mean you can’t let others no how you feel. Next time you read a proposal get out one of these office stamps and get your point across.
The epic win/fail stamps
Not just for cool teachers, epic stamps are only to be used when something is really great, or so terrible that you wish you ripped your eyes out to save yourself from the experience.
Now if you are looking for something a little less dramatic, you can use the like/dislike stamps. Although these can be used sadistically to hurt peoples feelings, they can also be used to grade work, on empty food wrappers, Movie stubs, and even new bills that pass through congress.
Use your imagination and you’ll soon realize that there is an entire world out there just aching to hear your opinion on stuff.
Office Stuff – USB Flash drive Voice Recorder
Have you ever had a million dollar idea, only to forget about it and later see it brought to market by some would be thought thief? If so, don’t be victimized by thought theft again!
According to the 100th monkey effect, if you experience events that inspire an idea, then its likely someone else will too. After 100 people (a.k.a monkeys) experience similar events that lead to the same inspiration, your idea becomes worthless because it now belongs to the entire populace and those who have more money and resources than you will create it.
Don’t let these ideas get away. When brilliance strikes, record it with a usb voice recording flash drive, and be one of the first 99 monkeys to earn some credit.
Office Stuff – iPhone 4 Desktop Phone
Okay, its cool to have an iPhone, but not so cool in the office because you look like you are talking to your friends. This is where the desktop iPhone comes into play.
Its great as a desk docking station for your iPhone that lets you access your schedule, make notes or input new data, but it also allows you to make video call too!
The phone also works hands free with a built in speaker system (a speaker system that also plays music) so you can put your hands behind your head and lean back like any over paid business professional.
The best part is, when you talk over the desk top phone, everyone will think your working instead of gabbing on your iPhone! (Okay, maybe the best part is not losing your intelligence from exposure to cellphone radiation)
Office Stuff – The Desktop Mini Shopping Cart
Let’s face it. We are all happier when we are buying a new toy or gadget. Placing the mini shopping cart on your desk doesn’t just keep your pens and other stationery all organized, it also reminds you that working throughout the day will eventually bring you money that you can use to buy things, which is a pretty good motivator for improving office productivity.
So go ahead and pick up a mini shopping trolly and don’t be afraid to charge it to the company as a business expense.
Office Stuff – The USB Microscope
Imagine what a hero you would be if you suddenly discovered and outbreak of Ebola or that zombie making T-virus we keep hearing about. Or what if you discovered penicillin 2 (and upgrade from the previous version) while studying a new type of mold that can only found on lunches left in the office fridge for more than 30 days? The point is that you can’t make scientific discovers that will better your company and all of humanity if you are stuck in a cubical looking at spreadsheets.
The USB Microscope isn’t about goofing off during office hours. Its about activating the creative scientific genius inside your brain that can only improve your overall productivity.
Sure, maybe you’ll end up wasting time studying the bacteria on your tongue or the hair follicles on that favorite employee you’ve been stalking. Either way, the usb microscope is an office gadget for any true geek.
Office Stuff – The Magic Rotating Globe
Every cool office needs a globe. A globe tells those who visit that you are an international player and that you were not afraid to cheat to get ahead in geography class.
Now you could choose a “non geek” globe, that is hundreds of dollars and made out of nicely stained wood or, you can choose a globe that says “I’m technologically advanced and most likely more evolved than other non geeks in the business community so do business with our superior organization”
The Magic Rotating Globe gently spins its accurate mapping as if it was truly floating in space. A real attention getter, the 14 inch globe can sit right on top of your desk without taking up too much space.
The best part is that it will leave everyone who see it wanting one of their own.
Office gadgets make a bad thing good and a good thing great. Whether you hate or love your job, some cool office stuff just makes the time pass quicker (note: This principle does not apply to our backwards moving clocks).