The 4 Worst Teachers to Get When Going Back To School

Written by Jason Scott. Posted in Daily Daft

If you think school sucks now, just remember it could be a lot worse.

In honor of September being “Back to School” month, we at Daft Gadgets have compiled a list of the top worst school teachers out there to remind you just how good today’s students really have it.

The first being…..

#1 George Orwell

Photo thanks to wikipedia

Photo thanks to wikipedia

George Orwell was the pen name of author, journalist and teacher “Eric Blair”. With his mental acuity equal only to his wit, Eric Blair also had a profound awareness of social injustice as well as a strong belief in democratic socialism.

So what did he do that’s such a big deal?

Well he wrote the dystopian novel 1984

As well as the satirical novella “Animal Farm”

(not to be confused with animal house)

Together these two books have sold more than any other twentieth century author.

Where and When did George Orwell Teach?

In April 1932 Eric Blair taught at the Hawthorns High School in West London. This was around the time he publish his essay called “Clink” which was about his failed attempt to get sent to prison (he gets liquored up and tries to get arrested so that he can document police brutality, but unfortunately they were too nice).

He then later taught at Frays College in a class of 200 students.

Frays river

Frays river

What would be so bad about having him as your teacher.

A tantō knife prepared for seppuku.

A tantō knife prepared for seppuku.

Well, as witty as he may be, his outlook on society might be taken to be that life is nothing more that a desultory journey to a final dirt nap caused by a bullet to the back of your head. When we study, we open our minds to our teachers, and it is likely that anyone in his class would probably take an overdose of depression.

On the lighter side, truly depressed suicidal people can experience great carriers as “Adrenaline Junkies”

#2. Benito Mussolini

Il Duce

Il Duce

Mussolini was known for being an intelligent child with a violent temper and large ego. After being expelled from school due to poor grades and misbehavior, he was sent to a boarding school as an attempt to set him straight.

The Boarding School was in Faenza Italy, but Mussolini found it to be a little too strict and began once again breaking rules by being late, mouthing off in class, and stabbing students (no were not kidding, he was expelled from the boarding school for stabbing a fellow student)

Not Il Duce, but you get the point

Not Il Duce, but you get the point

As the saying goes, “those who can’t do, teach.” Benito Mussolini would get his diploma and go on to have a brief career as a secondary school teacher.

You might want to remember that next time you take advantage of a new or substitute teacher.

#3. John Wesley Hardin

"I Shot a Sun Tanning Mexican to win a $5 Bet"

Hardin became a school teacher somewhere around 1868, just after killing 3 people. However, because being a school teacher in Navarro paid really crappy, Hardin attempted to make money on the side paying poker, where his failure at the game caused him to kill another player.

After leaving his career as a school teacher to become a fugitive gambler.  Hardin was known for things like “shooting the person snoring in the next room through the hotel wall, and killing a deputy sheriff.

These types of acts would land him in jail for 17 years. After that he was pardoned and immediately passed the bar examination to become a lawyer. A changed man, fully pardoned and now capable of practicing and teaching law, he is said to have then killed a suntanning Mexican to win a $5 dollar bet.

The Moral of the story here is probably to never gamble with your teacher or professor.

#4. Havelock Ellis

Havelock Ellis was a British Physician, psychologist, and Master at a private school who studied human sexuality with regards to transgender sexuality, narcissism and eroticism.

“What so bad about that? It sounds like he was ahead of his time and a great liberal thinker?”

Well, uhhhh……

The thing is, having a teacher like this would be very stressful. Now forget the fact that this sex aficionado was in charge of two elementary schools for a second and focus on what getting a bad grade would mean if you were one of his students.

You see, Havelock was a proponent of the wonderful world of Eugenics which had the great idea of progressing human evolution manually.

How you ask?

Well, because everyone knows that people who fail is school offer no use or value to society, it is was deemed by the supporters of Eugenics that it would be a good idea to forcefully sterilize children who did poorly in school.  This way, only the smartest people could have children, in turn making a more intelligent population.

This meant that they could remove idiots like Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Edison and Albert Einstein from our gene pool and replace them with high school graduates.

Remember that the next time you get a bad grade

Here’s a look into the wonderful world of eugenics

If you are looking for some cool new gadgets for back to school, check out our  gadget shop

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Jason Scott

"They will Rue the Day They Gave Me Free Reign Over this Blog" Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! (insert evil into laughter)

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