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Posts Tagged ‘Daft Gadgets Blog’
So, you’ve got the latest and greatest cellular smart phone super handheld turbo techno marvel huh? Sweet. I bet that thing burns through some batteries though. All you need now is a place to set it up so it can charge. You need a cradle for your new baby. A bed to tuck it away so it can rest up and get its juice back. Something to give your wonderful new toy a boost so you can get back to your important work (or Angry Birds or Words With Friends).
Unfortunately we don’t have any products that could help you out. Not a one. Sorry, but we don’t carry any iPod, iPhone, or MP3 chargers at all, in the least, ever, under any circumstances. You are on your own friend. One day soon the battery on your poor media device will run down and then you’ll be out of business. No more phone calls or texting or pictures of funny cats for you. That will be a sad day.
It sure would be nice if we had a great selection of cradles and chargers to meet every taste and need. Maybe some for the office, a few for the traveler on the go, perhaps even one or two for the outdoorsy types. But alas we at DaftGadgets.com simply do not carry any chargers whatsoever, at all. Nope.
1) Mobile Phone Chargers – Universal Desktop Charger
Now if we had chargers, and we’re not saying we do, because we don’t, then the Universal Desktop Charger would be a the top of the list. This sleek, stylish cradle is perfect for any office setting. You depend on your phone. You’re contacts, emails, pictures, addenda, and who knows what else is on this small candy bar sized device.
Don’t just throw your phone on the desk when you walk into the office. Don’t let it float aimlessly around your workspace like some sort of techno vagabond. Get your device a home of it’s very own with the Universal Desktop Charger.
Now you won’t have to pick up or hunch over your phone every time you want to access an app because it’s sitting up facing you. With the Universal Desktop Charger your device is always ready for work. When you’re not using it you can use it as a candy bar holder too. And did we mention that its ‘universal’? That means it can charge anything in the universe (probably).
2) Mobile Phone Chargers – iPower Station For iPod and iPhone
Your boss is calling and he needs figure for the client right now, immediately, at this very instant, no he can’t wait. Unfortunately it’s eight at night and you’re out catching a bite to eat with a very hot date. But it’s all good. You can get everything he needs right from your smart phone.
Ah the wonders of technology. You tend conduct a large portion of your business over and through your phone anyway so this is no big deal to you. In fact, you’ve been on the phone all day long…which is why you’re battery is about to die. Now you’re toast. It took an hour to get this table and your boss isn’t going to accept ‘I forgot to charge my phone’ as an excuse…and where is that waiter with your appetizer? But then you suddenly remember that you have the iPower Station for the iPod and iPhone. Slap it in and voila, you’ve just bought yourself several hours of phone (or music) time.
The iPower Station is a back up battery that plugs straight into your docking station port and being the smart tycoon that you are you never go anywhere without it. Now you’re boss is happy, your date is impressed, and a stern glance from you got those appetizers to the table lickity split.
Don’t let a dead phone ruin your day. With the iPower Station you’re always prepared.
3) Mobile Phone Chargers – Emergency Phone Charger
Lets say you don’t own an iPod or an iPhone. In fact, you don’t have any Apple products at all. Not that you don’t have nice stuff. You probably have tons of great devices. MP3 players, phones, cameras, concealed video equipment, listening devices, electric tooth brushes, the works. Well if you’re job depends on this equipment then you need One back up battery to rule them all, the Emergency Phone Charger!
This device is powered by a common, run of the mill AA battery. Plug it in and it’ll give you a few extra hours on your devices. No fuss no hassle no charging it up. As long as you’ve got access to batteries you’ll be set. It’s great for situations where you can’t get to a power source for a while. And the Emergency Phone Charger comes with seven different adapters to fit just about any modern cellular device.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve got a Sonny, Nokia, Samsung, and a Blackberry (why do you have so many phones?) it will power them all equally. The Emergancy Phone Charger is even compatible with iPods…even though we already said you don’t have any Apple products. Maybe you’ll get one for Christmas or something. Who knows?
4) Mobile Phone Chargers – Solar Power Charger Case
Camping, hiking, and biking are great ways to get away from the stress and toil of the modern word. Getting back outdoors is so invigorating, so liberating. You’ve needed this change of pace for a while now. A chance to just unwind and reboot your system without having to worry about the hustle and bustle of normal life. And yet you still brought your cell phone along any way…just in case. But that’s all right because with the Solar Powered Charger Case you’ll always be able to use your gadgets (even when you’re supposed to be relaxing).
This little pack comes with a solar panel to soak up the suns rays and converts them into electrons for your phone. The Solar Power Charger Case comes with adapters for just about every phone type and it’s also a case where you can store you’re device when it’s not in use (which should be never, because you’re on vacation, remember).
So just chill out, soak up as much nature as you can, and try not to check your Facebook account every few hours. Yes, you’re addicted to your gadgets and the Solar Power Charger Case is a great way to enable your habit, even when your ‘roughing it’.
5) Mobile Phone Chargers – Wind Up Mobile Phone and iPod Charger
The world has come to an abrupt end. It’s Mad Max, post apocalyptic, end of civilization time. You’re one of the soul survivors of this barren wasteland. Maybe you’ve got like a dog or something as a companion.Though really, you’ll probably just end up eating him sooner or later.
But thankfully you’ve got your iPod. Humanity might be an endangered species that wrought hell on earth through their greed and pride, but at least you’ve got some tunes to listen to. But oh wait. You forgot your charger back at that nuclear crater you used to call home. Not that there’s any power running anywhere anyways. The infrastructure that delivered all our modern conveniences has pretty much been obliterated at this point. And solar energy is a bust because the skies have been stained black with ash and sin.
Fortunately you had the foresight to bring alone your Wind Up Mobile Phone and iPod Charger!
That’s right, when all else fails you can still cram electrons back inside your magic music box with this hand crank charger. Sure, it’ll take a while but you’re sitting in the middle of a barren wasteland. You’ve got time.
And the Wind Up Mobile Phone and iPod Charger also has a built in flashlight, so bonus! The rest of humanity might have been blasted back into the stone ages, but as long as you’ve got your Wind Up Mobile Phone and iPod Charger you can still listen to the greatest hits of Lady Gaga!
You Can See our Complete Line Up of Mobile Phone Chargers in Our Gadget Shop
According to smart brained scientists, lighting effects your mood. They did a study where they exposed monkeys to sunlight and darkness and water and alcohol. The monkeys who got sunlight were all socially happy, while the monkeys who were deprived sunlight became alcoholics. Of course, there are some even smarter brained scientists who say that the true reasons monkeys become alcoholics is because they had a bad childhood. See NIH article: What you can learn from drunk monkeys
Now you may feel that testing the effects of alcohol on monkeys is cruel, but we feel it is still a step up from the previous studies like: “Multiple Stab Wounds May Be Harmful To Monkeys”
Anywho, back to light. Light effects your mood in many ways, which is why mood dictators and thought police probably invented mood lighting in the first place. The good news is that you when you get home, you no longer have to accept the government mood lighting of street lamps or the suicidal fluorescent lighting found in the office. You just need to grab one of the light gadgets found below to find a happier mood in no time.
Light Gadgets – The Moonlight Cushion
The moonlight cushion adds a rainbow of color to any place you can put your feet up. Its quite possible that somewhere some evil corporation is enslaving leprechauns, forcing them to add a rainbow to each cushion, but more likely its a low power soft LED light that gives the moonlight cushion its power.
Watch as the colors hypnotize you into a deep trance. Once there, you can have someone make positive suggestions that can help you do anything from exercising more, to overcoming your deep rooted fear of clowns!
Note: if you are afraid of clowns don’t read article: Crazy Ass Pyscho Clowns You Don’t Want Under Your Bed.
Light Gadgets – LED Bulb
Tired of wasting electricity on some inferior light bulb that only lasts about 1000 hours and only projecting one color from the light spectrum? Sure, you could paint your light bulbs and risk electrocuting yourself or others when you change them during parties, or you can buy and LED Mood Bulb and blow the minds of your guests with superior powered party mood lighting!
The LED Mood Bulb lasts over 50,000 hours, which is a lifetime if you live in Swaziland or you are a knight from the 1300s. This light gadget allows you to adjust the brightness intensity, choose between 16 different colors (4 auto changing colors). The LED Mood light also lets you choose from 4 lighting effects including: Strobe, Flash, Fade, and Smoooooth.
Light Gadgets – DIY Laser Light Show
When you arrive at a party does the hostess ask questions like “Is that a laser show in your pocket or are you just happy to me?” If so feel free to flash the entire party a view of the pocket laser light show.
This DIY laser show lets you jack up the speed dial for when the best get pumping fast, or take it down a notch if you want the party to get a bit smoother. Also it comes with its own tripod so you can just set it up and let it do its thing (the laser light show is sound reactive.)
Light Gadgets – Laspro Spirograph Laser Projector
If you are looking for a more “retro” oriented laser projector you can check out the Laspro Spirograph sound reactive laser projector. Most of us who weren’t neglected by our parents got to play with a Spirograph when we were kids. Sure, maybe you got an etch-a-sketch or a lite-bright instead, but somewhere, either at a friends house, at school, or during the secret evaluation the government does on children to see if they are worthy of society or better off as organ donors, we all came into contact with a Spirograph. It was a way to draw while staying inside the lines while still opening our imagination to new and interesting shapes. Kind of like cheap drugs for kids.
Anyway, now you can bring back those memories and realize once again that there is more to the universe that just a square, circle and triangle.
Light Gadgets – The Astro Eye Planetarium
By far one of the most popular light gadgets around, the Astro Eye Planetarium brings the night sky into your home. No, it doesn’t bring in the smog and pollution to poison your children the way that nature has since she took up smoking. This light gadget projects the stars of the universe on your walls and ceilings.
The good news is that it can project a night sky with or without constellations. Both can be very relaxing. Unless of course you are an Astrologer and you see that the constellations are predicting your death, then this light gadget may not be for you, but for everyone else, the astro eye is a great experience
Light Gadgets – The LED Car Emoticon
Sometimes horn honking, finger gestures and getting out of your car with a lead pipe in your hand just isn’t a practical way to communicate with other drivers.
We can all probably agree that our moods are contagious. When a driver does something stupid, and we’re sure it wasn’t us this time, we know they are an idiot and need to be told. The problem is that they are protected behind a windshield and can’t hear what we have to say. Sure, some of us know some sign language, but in the end a lot of people take out their frustrations on McDonalds employees who forgot to ask us if we wanted to super-size our orders, leaving us with with a kids meal portion and no toy to make us happy.
We say, instead of passing on only our bad opinions creating negative energy in the universe and leading us to overeat fast food, why not spread “positive emotions” and spread smiles and happiness, and thoughts of puppies and such.
The Drivemocion LED car sign does just that. Not only does it have a smiley face and wink, it also has a thank you sign and a “sorry” sign “a.k.a I’m an idiot sign”. See, it Mcdonalds that had it right all along, when they offered smiles on their menu for free. Next time you’re at McDonalds, ask them for a few smiles to go and pass on some fun. If they don’t smile a few times into a “to go” bag, call the manager and threaten to sue for false advertising.
You Can Check Out Our Complete Selection of LED and Light Gadgets in the Geek Toys and Gadgets Section of our Gadget Shop
By now everyone knows about the honey badger, one of the most fearless, aggressive animals in the world. And of course there’s the wolverine who, aside from being one of Marvel Comics biggest cash cows, is also a crazy weasel like creature that will attack bears and wolves just for laughs. These are fearless little animals that routinely go up against overwhelming odds. But those are the exceptions, right? Rarely in nature do you see the whole David and Goliath setup working out in favor of the underdog. Normally the big animals eat or at least squash the smaller ones. Usually. But sometimes Mother Nature pulls for the little guy. There are teeny animals out there that simply do not know the meaning of fear or common sense. A few of these munchkins will stand up and throw themselves headlong against behemoths…and win.
1. Epomis Beetle
“The bug in the frogs mouth there is winning.”
Frogs are vicious eating machines. Yes…frogs. They regularly consume scorpions, tarantulas, snakes, birds, you name it. They’re deadly, agile and hungry as a hippo…only shorter. If it fits in their mouth they’ll attack and eat it. But if there is one area where frogs really excel at it’s eating bugs. What with the long tongue, the pouncing and the huge mouths, frogs were tailor made to destroy insects. But apparently no body told that to the Epomis Beetle. This small ground beetle will attack and devour frogs, lizards and salamanders at will. How do we know this? Because scientist set up Thunder Dome like encounters where the beetle won 100% of the time. That’s right, 100%! This isn’t a bug that ‘sometimes’ pulls out an upset. It’s a super beetle that apparently cannot lose. Here’s a horrifying video of a little beetle brutalizing an amphibian several times it’s size:
Their strategy is to jump on the amphibian, which outweighs it by a factor of at least 10 and then they start biting it. Do they have some kind of poison? A paralyzing venom to subdue their hippity hoppity foes? No. They just bite him till he dies. That’s like leaping onto a bull and chewing on it till it stops kicking. And not only do the adult beetles eat frogs, but the larva do too. In fact the baby beetles dine almost exclusively on amphibians. And once again, they never lose. Scientists recorded one instance where a frog actually managed to swallow a larva for two hours…he still lost the fight and was consumed by the bug. How do you eat your opponent and still lose?!?
“How many lions has your newborn consumed?”
Groups of small birds have been known to mob larger predators. They’ll do this to chase them away from their nests. Seals do the same things to great white sharks. It’s a common practice in nature for a group of smaller animals to band together to harass a larger predator. Kingbirds do something like that too, but with just a tad more “Hell Yeah!” mixed in. A lone Kingbird will jump on the back of a hawk and peck the bird in the head mercilessly! This little 2 oz menace will ride on the back of a friggin hawk! That’s like a human leaping onto a great shark and continuously bashing it in the skull with a pipe.
He’s not flitting around harassing it. He’s not posturing or making threats. The Kingbird is riding it bareback and stabbing it in the head. How aggressive and/or mentally unbalanced do you have be to pull this off? The Kingbird will peck the poor hawk relentlessly until it leaves the area. And there’s nothing the alpha predator can do but scream and run. They don’t try to fight back. They don’t hang around plotting their revenge. They get the hell out of Dodge. But the real kicker is that hawks don’t even prey on Kingbirds! They’re way too small. That’s right, the Kingbird is the bully here. He’s beating up the hawk for no reason other than he can.
3. Cookiecutter Shark
Sharks are scary it’s true, but they don’t indiscriminately attack people. Typically shark attacks happen because they mistake humans for seals or all that flailing around in the water makes them think you’re wounded. It really doesn’t want to eat you. It’s not hunting you. Honestly you probably don’t even taste good. In fact, Great Whites have been known to spit people out. Sure, the odds are you’ll still die from the wounds, but that’s not the point. Sharks do not see us as food. They aren’t just mindless eating machines that the movies portray. They won’t just attack you for no good reason…except the cookie cutter shark. It will straight up eat you.
“Awww…look how cute!”
This two-foot monster will attack anything, people, dolphins, whales, submarines. It literally does not care who or what you are. If you move you’re food. And yes, it has actually been known to attack submarines. The navy has had to replace rubber seals and coatings after these vicious little monsters grubbed on them. It’s called a cookie cutter shark because it swims past at high speed ripping a chunk of flesh out with its melon baller like teeth. The only reason you don’t hear about more attacks on people is because they’re nocturnal hunters. So be careful if you go swimming in shark infested waters at night…although lets be honest, you probably deserve to be eaten anyway.
“Awww…look how cute!”
4-Jack Jumper Ants
No one is surprised that ants will attack creatures several times their own size if their hive is threatened or if they have a team to back them up. They routinely throw away their lives just because. But then some ants take it to the next level, like the Jack Jumper Ant of Australia and Tasmania.
This is the Jack Jumper of Australia and Tasmania. He’s throwing himself at a huntsman spider who incidentally eats ants for breakfast. The ant didn’t stumble upon the spider by accident. The spider didn’t come too close to the nest. This lone ant saw a spider and launched itself over a cliff to attack it. Why? Because Jack Jumper Ants will attack anything on sight. And unlike most ants they can see quite well and they can leap 20 cm into the air. If you get within the range you’re food. Period. They are extremely aggressive and they will attack anything. Also unlike most ants the Jack Jumper is very independent minded so they’re solo hunters. This little insect can single handedly take down a bee or a wasp. It’s only one ant, but it’s wicked enough to capture and kill a friggin wasp on it’s own.
They’re also amongst the most poisonous creatures on earth. They kill more humans in their native Tasmania annually than spiders, snakes, wasps, and sharks COMBINED. Yes, this ant is the most deadly killer in an area renowned for its deadly killers. They sting their prey (or anything that’s pissing them off) repeatedly, releasing a venom that ignites the allergic reaction in most humans, leading to death if medical attention is not sought right away. And don’t think thick clothing will protect you, they can sting right through it.
5 – Common Krait
“He always hogs the covers.”
Most snakes are kind of skittish. They don’t have legs. They aren’t very tall. They know better than to hang out around larger creatures that can crush them. The math is pretty easy on this one. If you’re a small animal that crawls around on your belly then stay away from things that can smash you. Even very poisonous snakes are reluctant to bite people because they themselves might be hurt in the process. That’s why rattlesnakes make all that racket. They’re saying ‘hey, I’m over here don’t stomp on me because I will totally kill you, ok.’ But the common Krait of India is either the bravest or stupidest snake in the world. It will actually climb in bed with people.
And this isn’t a case where the snake accidentally blunders into an empty bed because he thinks it’s a good place to hide. They will slither beneath the sheets while people are there. No one is exactly sure why they do this. Maybe they’re cold. Maybe they just like to snuggle. Maybe it’s the fabric softener you use. Whatever the reason it’s a recipe for disaster when you consider that it’s more poisonous than a cobra and it’s bite is almost painless. It’s not uncommon for people to die in their sleep. Sleep tight!
For a good nights sleep try our Memory Foam Sleep Mask with Stereo Input
Every once in a while, a politician, leader, or dictator will surprise us. We expect them to lie to us, raise taxes, and waste lots of money, but on rare occasions they do something that no one expects. Sometimes we hear touching chicken soup type stories of how the teddy bear got its name after Teddy Roosevelt showed compassion by refusing to shoot a half dead beaten black bear in the face with his shot gun (we added the face part, but we assume the other hunters were asking him for a head shot).
Other times we hear stories of people like Turkmenbashi who ordered the construction of an Ice Zoo in the middle of the Dessert, or stories of Boris Yeltsin outside the white house drunk in his underwear trying to get a cab to take him out for pizza. Its the stories like these that leave us scratching our heads asking
“Is this leader kinda cool, or is he just Nuckin’ Futs?”
1. Francois Duvalier AKA Papa Doc.
Claiming to be Baron Samedi, the Voodoo spirit of death, Papa Doc makes the Daft Gadgets list of Crazy or Cool with ease. By no means are we saying that the Voodoo religion holds a monopoly on “Crazy,” in fact we are currently looking to hire an artist to make custom voodoo dolls of our customer’s ex lovers based upon the photographs then send in. We think that voodoo could be the next big thing for our Gadget Shop.
That aside, were pretty sure that Papa Doc was “Nuckin Futs”
His departure from the land of sanity probably occurred during a 9 hour coma he experienced that left him with massive brain damage. Upon awakening, he demanded his successor (Clement Barbot) be arrested.
So, What is so odd about that?
He told his people that they would have trouble finding him because he had transformed himself into a large black dog.
So what was the most logical thing to do?
Well round up all the black dogs and put them to death of course.
After ordering the death of all the black dogs in Haiti, Clement Barbot was found (obviously because there were no black dogs left for his spirit to hide in) It was at this point that Papa Doc had Clement’s head cut off and preserved for Voodoo uses at a later time.
On his death bed, Papa Doc let out one last final secret. He confessed that he was responsible for JFK’s Assassination…..by way of a Voodoo Curse. He also sent one of his people to the U.S.A to visit Kennedy’s grave and “steal the air” around it so that Papa Doc could control JFK’s soul in the afterlife with a spell.
Now as “Cool” as all this sounds, our vote for Papa Doc is on the “Crazy” side.
Jaime Nebot serves as the Mayor of Ecuador’s Largest city, Guayaquil. He has made headlines in Ecuador with various antics. On August 31, 1990. Nebot was heard screaming hysterically during a public broadcast of a parliamentary session. Although screaming in parliament is a very common thing these days, it was Nebots choice of words that earned him fame.
His words were: “Come here so I can pee on you,” and then “I can’t just hit you. I have to pee on you.” The police came in and restrained Nebot who told them he was angry at the back room dealings of the socialist party.
Now as funny as this televised was for us to watch without understanding a word (okay, we could make out a few of the swears) this incident is not the reason he is on our list.
The real reason Nebot is on our Cool or Crazy list is this:
In October of 2003 during a press conference, Nebot decided that the criticism from the press was not only unwarranted, but that it got in the way of his duties as the Mayor, essentially costing the tax payers too much money. Nebot then hired an assistant specifically for the task of addressing the critics from the press.
What’s so crazy cool about that you ask? ………..
The person he hired was a parrot.
“I get paid in Crackers”
“Here is the parrot,” he explained, “that will be in charge to answer all the undesirable comments that I have no time to answer! Some people only approach me with nonsense talk, so the parrot will answer back in the same way because I need to use my time to work.”
We don’t know about you, but were putting Nebot in the “Cool” Category.
Francisco Macias Nguema
Some people believe that insanity is hereditary. Luckily for Macias Nguema, he didn’t believe in such ridiculous superstitions. Born the son of a witch doctor who killed his younger brother, Francisco became the first President of Equatorial Guinea.
The center of an extreme cult of personality. He was known for doing wonderful things like having entire families and villages executed, punishing critics to 30 year jail terms, making intellectuals illegal and lots of other fun stuff……. like his special Christmas in 1975. We guess he was in the festive mood when he march 150 of his opponents in to a football stadium in Malabo where he lined them all up and shot them dead to Mary Hopkin’s song “Those were the days”
Now, on the surface, it may appear that he was just “Evil” but we feel that two things allow him on to our list of Crazy or Cool.
The first, he banned lubrication in powerplants claiming that his magic powers would keep the place running (which they did until the power plant broke down shrouding the entire capital in darkness). The second, he would indulge in Bhang (buds from a female cannabis plant) and the Hallucinogenic plant known as Iboga, and then have an imaginary tea party with imaginary enemies who he would execute.
As funny as playing the Red Queen in wonderland sounds, we’re putting him in the crazy category
Other politicians and leaders who almost made the Cool or Crazy list include:
Who was tired of being short at around 5 foot 1 and had her legs lengthened to make her 5 foot 4 (or perhaps 5 foot 6 in high heels) which we decided is probably more cool than crazy since she wasn’t that tall.
and of course, it was hard to leave out Gaddafi
who wasn’t just known for his Gaddawful clothing styles, but also for doing things like firing his body guards and replacing them all with female virgins. Which we think is kind of cool, even for a crazy person.
Many of you may have heard the story of how a saloon owner named John Schrank was instructed by Ghosts (specifically the ghost of William Mckinley) to assassinate Teddy Roosevelt. He attempted to do this by shooting Roosevelt in the chest before his famous speech in 1912. Those of you who know the story, know that Teddy decided to deliver the 90 minute speech anyway, even though there was a bullet lodged in his chest.
This gives him a very honorable mention in the Daft Gadgets list of Nearly “unkillable” people. However some people took more than one measly bullet (Leon Trotsky got an Ice Axe plunged into the back or his skull before getting pissed off and spitting in his would be assassin’s face!). And others, who exited in a blood bath left there bodies, not because they were dead. But because, they didn’t want to hang around in their now mutilated bodies.
What can we say, we at Daft Gadgets really favor the stories of those who are bad ass enough to face certain death just to see how long they stand up against impossible odds.
Kind of like the final moments of this guy:
Which brings us to our first example…………………
1. Pablo Escobar
Head of the Medellin Drug Cartel back in the days of Miami Vice, Escobar quickly became public enemy number 1 in the United States, so much in fact that a special task force made up from U.S. Delta Force operatives, SEAL Team 6 and Centra Spike was commissioned to take him out with the help of the Colombian police task force known as “Search Bloc”.
Upon tracking him down, Escobar (who we can only assume had seen the 1983 movie “Scarface”), stayed true to his words: “I prefer to be in the grave in Colombia than in a jail cell in the United States” and began his final stand in Tony Montana like fashion.
Jumping from rooftop to rooftop, Escobar took a hailstorm of bullet wounds to his legs and body, only to finally be taken out by a kill shot through his ear. Like the unsinkable Bismark under British Bombardment, it was unclear whether the fatal wound on the unkillable drug lord was self inflicted, or if it came from one of the members of the Search Bloc.
It took over 50 years to find the scientific evidence that the Germans sank their own unsinkable ship, and without cryogenic freezing or inception like technology, it is unlikely that we will every know for sure regarding Escobar.
2. Fidel Castro:
“Fight Against Impossible Odds and Win” – Poster Translation
The movie titled 638 ways to Kill Castro got its name for a reason. According to Fabian Escanlante (Castro’s official life protector), 638 is the number of times the CIA and other Castro haters have attempted to assassinate Castro. The documentary goes into detail about plots using exploding cigars, poison pills, La Femme de Nikita type hit women, fungal infected scuba suits, Mafia style shootings, a poison syringe in a fountain pen, and even a radio station rigged with noxious gas!
Yes Fidel Castro is probably the most notorious assassination escape artist in history, known from the world of politics to pop culture. Of course some assassination plans are better than others.
COTTON: Fine, you sissy girls, I’ll row to Cuba myself! Hell, I’ll swim to Cuba with this wrench between my teeth! Then I’ll pose as a beautiful female plumber, and when the toilet clogs at the Presidential palace, I’ll… I’ll… oh. I just wanted to kill Castro!
HANK: I know, Dad. I know.
– King of the Hill.
He Doesn’t look so tough in the picture?
As the German disco group Boney M sang, Rasputin was a hard person to kill. With enemies all around from his drinking and lusting for power, Rasputin had more than one attempt on his life, on more than one occasion.
His Doctrine was to attain divine grace through sin, which basically means he started a religion that called for you to get drunk, have lots of sex, and take bribes. Generally the church would be able to do away with such a compelling competitive religion, but unfortunately for them, Rasputin was protected by the Russian Queen, who believed he mad mystic healing powers to treat her son.
This protection however, only went so far.
At a certain point, it was decided that Rasputin needed to go.
On June 29th, 1914. After receiving a telegram (no not a singing telegram like in the movie clue) A former prostitute turned religious disciple (named Khionia Guseva) attempted to redeem herself with god by slicing open Rasputin’s abdomen, leaving his exposed entrails hanging out. Upon doing so she was heard to scream “I have killed the antichrist!”
Of course minor wounds like having your entrails pulled out was not enough to stop someone like Rasputin.
He would recover from this injury only to later be poisoned at a at Moika Palace with cyanide laced wine and cakes. After devouring them all and having the audacity to still live, Prince Yusupov shot him in the back with a revolver and left him for dead. Yusupov later returned for his coat only to see Rasputin spring back to life and begin strangling him. Luckily other murderers were around and were able to shoot him dead again with 3 gun shot wounds.
As they eerily stepped towards his fallen body, they noticed that he was still trying to get back up. It was at this point that they began clubbing him to death. Not taking any chances they wrapped and bound his body in a carpet and threw him in the freezing Neva River where he managed to break free from his bonds, but drowned before he got out.
Is it any wonder they called him the Mad Monk? Going through an ordeal like that would send the Dali Lama to Anger Management
“I’m only happy because I still have my entrails inside me”
4. Jim Bowie
Some of you may be familiar with the Bowie Knife. Its called that because Jim Bowie became one badass son of a bitch every time he had one in his hand. The most famous time occurring during a friendly “Duel” that would later become known as “The Sandbar Fight”
On September 19, 1827 Bowie attended a duel on a sandbar outside Natchez Mississippi. When neither duelist managed to hit one another with their gun shots, spectators Cuny and Crain (who were also at odds with each other) decided that it would be a good time to settle their score as well. After all, it would be a shame to get all dress up for a duel and not see any blood.
With that Crain fired a shot at Cuny, but accidentally hit Bowie in the hip, sending him to the ground. Bowie then arose to his feet, drew his knife, and charged at Crain. Unfortunately, Crain managed to smash his gun over Bowies face as it broke into pieces and sent Bowie to the Ground. It was then that Wright (one of Crain’s supporters) shot at Bowie while he was on the ground, and then plunged his sword into Bowie’s chest.
Of course this just pissed Bowie off…
As Wright was fumbling with ways to pull his sword from Bowie’s sternum, Bowie grabbed hold of him and pulled him down into his Bowie knife (as it would become later known). Wright died instantly, but Bowie still had the problem of an annoying sword in his chest to deal with, which unfortunately made him an easier target and as such was shot and stabbed again by another member of Crain’s group.
Clambering to his feet, two brothers (Alfred and Carey Blanchard) fired pistols at him, hitting him once in the arm. Bowie was then able to draw the sword out of his chest and cut off part of Alfred’s forearm while dodging another bullet from Carey.
The Brothers then fled like the cowards they were
5. Michael Malloy, a Fire Fighter and Drunkard.
Photo not the real Malloy
Michael Malloy aka “Mike the Durable” and “Iron Mike”, was a homeless drunken Irishman who lived in New York City. As a former fireman who was down on his luck, Malloy became acquainted with five men who pretended to be his friends.
Just when things seemed to be at their worst, Malloy received the friendship of these five men and an unlimited drinking tab at their pub, which probably seemed like a godsend at the time. Little did he know, the five men (who would later become known as “The Murder Trust”) had secretly taken out insurance policies on his life. The idea was that because Malloy was so addicted to alcohol, he would accidentally kill himself with alcohol poisoning. (Little did they know that Malloy most likely had a liver sized for a blue whale.)
With the plan backfiring and Malloy not cooperating with the plan by not dying, action had to be taken. The five then came up with the idea to put anitfreeze in the liquor, but Malloy just kept coming back for more. When anitfreeze didn’t work they used turpentine, followed by horse liniment. When Malloy still came back for more, they used Rat poison in desperation.
Of course, by this time, Malloy had most likely built up a tolerance to poison and ingested the Rat poison with little problems other than a “bad hangover” which just required more booze to cure.
Realizing that if they didn’t collect on the insurance policy soon that Malloy was going to drink them out of their profits, The Murder Trust tried using raw oysters soaked in methanol and a sandwich of spoiled sardines mixed with poison and carpet tacks. All of which Malloy swallowed into his iron stomach.
Realizing that Malloy could probably ingest pretty much anything and still live, it was decided that the best way to kill him was to freeze him to death. This time, they waited until Malloy passed out from too much booze, carried him into a park in -26 degree weather, dumped him in snow and poured five gallons of water on his bare chest.
Of course, he showed up the next day for his free drinks. Pissed off, they drove over him with a taxi moving 45 mph, which finally at least sent him to the hospital . After being gone for 3 weeks, The Murder Trust assumed they had finally killed him. When he showed up for drinks again, they threw caution to the wind and put a hose in his mouth that was connected to a gas jet. He was finally pronounced dead of lobar pneumonia.
In contrast, 4 or the 5 men involved died in the electric chair known as “Old Sparky”. And it only took one try.
“Awww…he’s all tuckered out. Now he’s going to curl up in a nest of you’re socks he’s crammed behind the fridge.”
Ferrets, those mischievous masked scamps. They’re like slinky, sinuous, cats with comically long necks and bodies. These are affectionate, playful, inquisitive animals. If you get them descented they don’t smell too bad and they can be litter trained with some patience. In fact, a ferret or two would make an excellent addition to your home. Provided you can keep the darn things from killing themselves. Ferrets curiosity and energy mixed with the fact that they can squeeze into tight places pretty much guarantees that they’ll get themselves in trouble unless you ferret proof your house. If you thought babies were helpless and stupid, here are just a few of the many many things you need to do to keep your suicide prone weasel safe.
“They’re dead…but it’s still cute.”
They love holes, so plug up everything. Don’t assume your ferret hasn’t crawled into your vacuum cleaner or your drain pipes (don’t turn on the garbage disposal!). Rocking chairs and fold out beds are pretty much blunt guillotines, so get rid of them. Keep your toilet bowl lid down or they’ll drown themselves. And they love to eat odd things, so watch what you leave laying around. Vets have pulled foam ear plugs, paper clips, erasers, rubber bands, mousepad pieces, Velcro, calculator keypads, stockings out of their stomachs. Always check the dirty clothes before throwing them on to wash because rodent blood will absolutely ruin a blouse. Make sure your medicine is kept in childproof containers and is out of reach (wait…seriously?). You should also probably look into getting your ferret a bright yellow helmet with a warning label that reads ‘special’.
“The cutest animal ninja of them all.”
This ferret-monkey-bear looking thing is not only cute, but also very playful. The Kinkajou is energetic, loves to leap and climb, has a prehensile tail like a monkey and will use you as it’s personal tree. It also has a six-inch long tongue. Which is all awesome right? And it’ll bite the ever-loving hell out of you if you mess up, just like it did to Paris Hilton…twice.
Even though their diet consists mainly of fruit they have extremely sharp teeth and a strong bite. Scientists don’t really know why this frugivore even needs friggin vampire-like incisors. What kind of fruit can’t be taken out with anything less than fangs? Regardless many owners swear that these creatures are gentle and affectionate. Just as long as you don’t crowd them too much, don’t make too many sudden movements, respect their territory and don’t wake them up during the day. It’s also recommended that let them have their own room cuz they need lots of space. You should probably give strong consideration to turning your entire life over to your Kinkajou. It would make things easier. (So yes, it’s exactly like being married.) Follow these simple guidelines and you’ll come away mostly unscathed…probably. They also live anywhere from 20 to 40 years, so be prepared to have this hyper, saber-toothed squirrel-chimp around forever. Oh, and in at least three states Raccoon Roundworms have been discovered in the feces of Kinkajou pets…which can be fatal to humans…and Kinkajou’s can’t be litter trained (or any kind of trained actually).
“Because chicks dig vicious killer bird that can maim and/or disfigure you for life.”
Wook, it’s a soft fwuzzy widdle owl. He’s so tiny and fruffy and wovable. I wants one! Friggin Harry Potter’s got an owl mom. Why can’t I have one? Well first of all it’s illegal. But who cares right? People still keep these things. But there are other reasons that should make you reconsider adopting one of these plushy raptors. Mostly, it’s because they’re birds of prey, so besides having razor sharp claws and beaks that can cut you, your furniture and virtually anything else in your house to shreds, they’ll also see any other pets as potential food. We can’t stress enough how powerful and sharp and their talons are. They can cut you to the bone just by being playful. Some of the larger owls have a grip of up to two hundred pounds per square inch. Humans can barely squeeze for twenty.
“You’re perfectly safe as long as you don’t stop petting him.”
And if the bird has imprinted on you then it’ll think you’re its mate. Which basically means it owns you and it’ll attack anyone who comes near you. I hope you don’t plan to date. During mating season it’ll hoot and screech all night long too. And you’d better darn well hoot back and you’d better act like you like it…if you know what’s good for you. And they won’t like anyone else but you which means only you can feed them, so no vacations away from home…ever. They also have special diets which consists of whole animals. They will also throw up everything they don’t digest, like livers and intestines, so be prepared to clean that loveliness up.
2. Slow Loris
What is a Slow Loris? Watch these videos first: Slow Loris
“Feed me! The cuteness compels you.”
Holy heck on a stick!!! That has got to be the cutest thing on the face of this forsaken mud ball we call earth! That precious guy is packing some epic, weapons grade adorableness. That innocent, wide-eyed little bugger is just begging to have the heck cuddled out of him. He’s such a slow, itty-bitty monkey. It’s like a tiny, fuzzy old man. Why doesn’t everyone have one of these sweet little raccoon sloths? Because they have poisonous elbows (no, seriously). The Slow Loris has special glands in their elbows which secret a toxin that causes rapid swelling and intense pain (it’s all true, why would we make this up?). They lick their elbows so that they’re bite can deliver this venom to the bloodstream (go ahead, try to lick your elbow).
“This may look like a ‘don’t beat me’ pose, but in reality it’s getting its elbows in attack position.”
Owning one is illegal, because they’re endangered in the wild. Their poison also makes them smell like sweat socks. They like to bed down in dirty cloths hampers (cuz it smells like home probably). They have extremely sharp teeth and despite their slow appearance they can strike like lighting. The poison doesn’t kill, but it causes painful throbbing and swelling.
1. Sugar Gliders
“It’s wearing a bow! She’s a proper little lady! What…why is my arm wet?”
These lovely flying squirrel-possums are small, cute and they love to play and run around. And the best part is they can glide! You and a friend can toss one around in the back yard like a baseball (please don’t). What could be more fun and adorable than an aerial hamster with stripes like an English badger? And then it pees on you. As a matter of fact, it’ll probably do more than pee. Sugar gliders have no real control over when they defecate. When they wake up, they pee. When they eat, they pee. When you take them out to play, they pee. But don’t worry, that probably means he likes you.
“The fur bat strikes!”
Another great thing about sugar gliders is that they suck the juices out of their food. They don’t really ‘eat’ fruit. They just squeeze it to a mushy pulp and then they spit it out…all over the wall, the floor, the ceiling. These little critters are renowned for making a huge mess. They can also smell strongly (but maybe that’s because it’s covered in urine 24 hours a day). And don’t think you can get just one. Sugar gliders are social creatures and they need lots of attention or they might freak out and attack you or themselves or just straight out die. (Did we mention that in the wild they chew threw bark so you’re skin is laughably easy for them to peal away?) It’s best if you have two so they don’t get lonely. So that’s twice the mess, twice the smell but also twice the fun!
Oh, and they bark all night long cuz their nocturnal animals. Sweet dreams.
If you are looking to block out the insane barking of a sugar glider, or just the voices in your head you can try the memory foam sleep mask with headphone input from DaftGadgets.com
If you like Geek toys and Gadgets…..
Don’t forget to “like” us!
When you like us we become cool like y0u, and we think you can afford to give away a little coolness. It is the holiday season after all….
Is there a special geek in your life this holiday season? Just want to say thanks or maybe just wanting a little something extra in your life? There are some truly fantastic geek toys and gadgets out there for anyone and everyone. You don’t have to be an uber geek to appreciate some of the truly neat and bizarre trinkets that are available.
We have handpicked eight different geek toys and gadgets that should amuse any techie or sci fi enthusiast on your list.
First on our list of geek toys and gadgets is “The Floaster”
This peculiar spin on a coaster is great for a small gathering at your place or to create a little mystery at work. Not only are they very stylish coasters but they actually appear to make your drink float in the air! It’s a neat little illusion that will have people asking how. It works because there is a small stand underneath the floaster that is naked to the eye when looking from above. Of course you don’t have to tell them how it works. You can laugh like an evil madman as your coworkers or guests marvel at this little feat of design. The low cost + high fun factor equals out to be a fantastic bargain on a neat gadget. This means it’s an ideal gift for any situation, and you will have enough left to buy one for yourself.
Use this neat geek gadget to open up some good times “Wine Bottle Kit”
Here is a design trick so great it might make that “Houdini” kit disappear. It is a full wine kit inside of what looks like a wine bottle. You could call it wineception if you were so inclined. This set comes with a lever style corkscrew, a bottle collar, a bottle stopper, a bottle pourer, and a foil cutter. It can sit inconspicuously with your wine bottles until the time is right. Due to their compact convenience and aesthetically pleasing design, this kit fits in with your wine collection or as a professional piece in a restaurant. The wine bottle kit proves that you don’t need to break the bank just to break open a bottle of wine.
Shine light on your geek toys and gadgets with “Water Lanterns”
Bring the Far East a little bit closer with these traditional floating paper lanterns. Undeniably cool, yet warm, these lanterns “light” up any backyard for a gathering. Put them in your pond or pool or even on along walkway. These lights will shed some old fashioned light on any celebration, party, or relaxing evening. Setup takes just seconds and the tea lights required are already included. These water lanterns are a classic atmospheric piece; that have been used for centuries because their warmness resonates with anyone who sits in their light. There is no wiring in them so the flame retardant paper lanterns are 100% biodegradable to boot.
Water lanterns are a shining example of a timelessly enjoyable classic.
For some reason we were very drawn to the “Space Magna Putty”
Whether you are a child or an adult, getting absorbed in putty is more fun than it sounds. This isn’t your grandparents’ “silly” putty. Space Magna putty is magnetic, making it much more fun to mold with. You can stretch, mold, and bounce it, but the fun really begins when you introduce a magnet into the mix. It attacks and absorbs the magnet in an entertaining display of science on a small scale. The Space Magna Putty comes in a convenient little package and both stimulates the mind and helps relieve stress.
You’re never too old to enjoy something so simple and fun.
Even pets can be part of our geek toys and gadgets list with the “Space Fish Tank”
Hey look, you finally found Nemo! If you have wanted a fish, but lacked the space in your small apartment or office, this neat space saving bowl is perfect for you. It has a contemporary design that pops out in any setting. This is an appropriate bowl for small fish like the beta or goldfish. The Space Fish Tank has three different background designs that slip behind it allowing you to choose from, the statue of liberty, space, or an alien planet.
Your new friend with gills in the Space Fish Tank means You will never be lonely, and he is sure to attract others guests to your place with his stylish and uniquely geeky home.
This is item is for the geek scout in all of us “Emergency Phone Charger”
It’s time for a trip to the incredibly practical side. Everyone has had the problem of their phone dying on them at one time or another. Sometimes it’s at an incredibly inopportune time. This is the geek gadget to always have on hand in case that situation arises. It can give up to two hours of more talk time or music time should you hook it up to your I-pod. All it requires is one AA battery to power the device and you are off and charging. It’s small and incredibly convenient with a price tag that encourages the gift of giving.
Move over hipsters it’s the “Retro Phone Cell Phone Handset”
(Available in Red for the Bat Cave Extension)
Love the convenience of the cell phone but feel nostalgic of that old timey handset? If so then this is a must buy for you or that certain retro someone. All you have to do is plug the handset into the audio jack on your phone and you’re off. You will be looking 20th century in no time with this fashionable statement of the times. Also, as an added bonus it will reduce the amount of radiation pouring into your head because you don’t have to keep the cell phone there!
Smart, funny, and just plain cool, this is a great accessory for those at home in a slightly “simpler” time.
Live long and geeky with the “Astro Eye Planetarium DIY Star Projector”
Last but certainly no least on this list of sweet geek toys and gadgets is this home planetarium. Love the stars but, find yourself surrounded by the lights of man? This is a great way to escape within your own domicile. This 2 disc projector shows the night sky on your walls and ceiling. It gives you both the northern and southern hemisphere perspectives of the stars. It includes five speeds and a 30 or 60 minute sleep function and even a shooting star feature. Great as a learning tool or relaxing way to fall asleep, this is a perfect item for all ages. It runs on batteries so no having to worry about tripping on cords in the night either. This item has a place in any home because astronomy is a part of all of us whether we show our inner geek or not.
With so many options out there, it can be hard to find the right gadget for the geek in your life. Thankfully you can find all these items and many more in our Daft Gadget Store found at daftgadgets.com. There you will find a humorous selection of geek toys and gadgets for every personality and budget.
If you’ve read the previous article from Daft Gadgets that dealt with how to read a person’s Confidence (or take advantage of their over confidence like Luke Skywalker and The Emperor) Then you may be thinking to yourself “If I pose in these confident positions, how do I know if the person is buying into my dominance over them?”
The answer is simple. By learning how to spot submissive and non confrontational poses and postures in others.
The body language pictured below depict insecurity and submission. If you spot someone in one of these poses it may be due to your overwhelming charisma or their overall lack of alcohol. It will be up to you to decide which is which.
1. The Nose Rub.
Yes, the nose rub. It was Citizen Kane’s last words (or something like that) and is one of the most common armature poker tells out there. Although this can be done intentionally to signal anything from corroboration of a conspiracy or whether or not to steal 3rd base, the nose rub says a lot more than just “I feel like Pinocchio” and if you can label it correctly, you may just find yourself one step above Geppetto on the puppet master scale.
The Nose Rub is most famous for deceit, but it also has roots within the realm of insecurity and submissiveness, sometimes showing feelings of doubt or rejection of what someone is saying. For example,
if one is entertaining a Jehovah’s witness at the door to be polite, they may find themselves rubbing their nose if they feel insecure about their beliefs or if they feel offended that the JW is trying to proselytize them.
Sometimes however, the insecurity comes not from dominance, but fear of authority, as if the nose rubber is asking themselves “Did I just get away with that?”
2. The Hair Pull/Twirl.
Although playing with hair is a well known sign of sexual anxiety in mixed gender confrontations, this form of body language has a tendency to show up under other forms of stress as well.
Generally, this shows lack of self confidence and sometimes nervousness.
3. The Rain Cloud.
This pose spells out dejection in an obvious way. Its as if a rain cloud is pouring over the person. People who frequently stand or walk in the rain cloud position make for good converts to a new religion or cult.
4. The Eye Rub
The Eye Rub is a sign of disbelief. Not in the “I can’t believe its not butter” excited way, but more in the “I doubt myself and can’t believe I’m screwed again” type way.
As well, the person may rub their eyes do to insecurity, since people’s eye water more when they are uncomfortable. The eye rub is a way to hide behind their hands, and may also be used to deceptively feign tiredness (see article on liars in part 3)
5. The Arm Cross
The Arm Cross is a very defensive position. It signals that the person doing it doesn’t want to accept the ideas presented to them.
Its kind of like a pouty child who doesn’t want to go to bed.
In some cases (especially in women) the arm cross can be done to feel more secure or possibly even warmer if its chilly, but during an idea exchange, the arm cross generally means no, even if she’s already naked.
6. The Nail Bite
Pretty much everyone picks up on this one. The Nail Biter shows nervousness. However there is some medical evidence that nail biting can be linked to a mineral deficiency.
Nail biting can also be a sign that someone did something wrong and doesn’t want to get caught, or anything where there is anxiety over not knowing the coming events.
7. The Angry Mom.
Yes, even men do the angry mom pose from time to time.
This posture of standing straight with the hands on hips shows readiness and aggression. When you view this pose, it helps to picture the person saying: “young lady/man”. Its is generally a response to the challenging of ones authority, either over themselves or over others, which is why its best known in parents during the rebellious teenage years.
The Angry Mom may seem scary, but its really a sign of insecurity. When you see this pose, it pays to look for the hypocrisy (just don’t point it out.)
8. The Ear Pull
The Ear pull is a sign of indecision. If the ear puller is listening to you, they may be trying to decide if you are telling the truth or not. In a lot of cases, the ear puller doesn’t like the choices presented and is merely trying to avoid an ultimatum.
This one is another great amateur poker tell that shows weakness. Be careful though, they may have the cards and just feeling indecision to call due to the size of the bet.
Now that you have the ability to spot both confidence and insecurity in body language, the last thing to learn is how to spot deception. Log in next week for Part 3 of the Daft Gadgets Article: How to read a person like a book – Deception.
Astral Projection is thought by many to be a form of lucid dreaming. Its the ability to project your body or self image in the “astral plane” or as some would say; “The collective dream consciousness”
Most people, however agree that the astral plane is a place for sentient humans, and not a place for your everyday barn yard animals. After all, eating an astral projection is not likely to fill you up, so cows and chickens don’t really have a place with humans who are traveling the astral plane.
Science can only explain so much in the field of lucid dreaming, but we at Daft Gadgets feel that the evidence in the videos below, speaks for itself.
1. Biscuit the Dream Walker
Biscuit hasn’t quite learned how to dream walk without using her body yet. She’s known to rise up like a Zombie and wander around the house while dreaming. Sometimes Biscuit will chase and bark at squirrels or possibly aliens (were not really sure since we don’t go to the same astral plane as her) and on some occasions she will run directly into a wall and wake up (Although she does run much faster on her side than when on her feet)
What do the Experts Say?
Scientists believe that Biscuit suffers from Parasomnia, which may be classified as sleepwalking, night terrors, or Rem Behavior Disorder.
For those of you concerned with Biscuits well being you can rest assured that Biscuit is a professional astral projector and is just fine despite running into numerous walls and obstacles.
2. Skeeter the Spontaneous Dreamer
Skeeter was normal for the first 4 years of his life, until he found away to transcend to the astral plane. At any given moment Skeeter can drop into a full REM state joining his fellow lucid dreamers on a trip to the astral park.
If you’ve ever seen a comedy sketch where someone is so tired they pass out in a plate of spaghetti, you’ll have a better idea of what happens to Skeeter.
What do the experts say it is?
The Experts say that Skeeter suffers from Narcolepsy that comes from a malfunctioning gene responsible for wakefulness. This causes Skeeter to skip the light sleep and medium sleeping modes going straight from full wakefulness to deep REM sleep. Kind of like a hypnotist snapping his fingers, except this actually works.
Unfortunately, Skeeter is now on the astral plane full time, since he was hit by a car while falling asleep during a chase. However, his brain was donated to science in the hope that we can learn more about what causes narcolepsy in humans.
And no, we don’t subscribe to the point of view that the scientist who received Skeeters corpse were in fact “Mad Scientists” who conspired to run down skeeter on the road to gain a possible specimen.
3. Men Who Stare At Goats.
Okay to be fair this should actually be call “men who blow horns at goats” but you get the idea.
If you’ve seen the Jedi Master George Clooney kill a goat through concentration, then you are aware of the fact that goats can “drop dead” as a moments notice. Of course as we all know, Hollywood has a tendency to exaggerate things from time to time. Exaggerations being dodging bullets, high speed chases, and killing goats through power of thought. The video above however, is no exaggeration.
The Way we see it is that the goats aren’t actually “dropping dead” as much as they are “astral projecting.” Unfortunately for the goats, taking off to the astral plane at the first sign of Danger, isn’t exactly a great way to ensure the survival of your species, which is probably why there are less than 20,000 of these goats left in existence (out of around 450 million goats in total).
What do the Experts Say?
Scientists believe that these goats are “fainting” due to over excitement, kind of like they just saw Elvis in concert. The scientific smart person term for this is called myotonia congenita which causes the goats brain signals to force their muscles to continuously expand and contract, kind of like they were getting tasered.
Needless to say, without human intervention, these goats would most likely be extinct.
4. Half Brained Dolphins.
All Mammals need sleep, and all mammals need air. So how do dolphins sleep without drowning?
Believe it or not, Dolphins don’t breath unless they choose to. Unlike humans who breath naturally without thinking about it, dolphins actually have to make a conscious effort to breathe.
Known as “conscious breathers” dolphins can’t afford to sleep in and be late for breathing, and as we all know electricity and water don’t mix, so alarm clocks are pretty much out of the question. So what does a dolphin do?
The answer. It only turns half its brain off. This means that dolphins are the ultimate lucid dreamers in that they exist both here and on the astral plane simultaneously! Scientists have studied this phenomenon in dolphins, using electroencephalography, which is a method of attaching Frankenstein electrodes to the heads of dolphins in order to measure the electrical impulses during shut down.
We suspect that they found that Dolphins are a pretty “chilled out” and relaxed species.