The 5 Hardest Dances to Pull Off on the Dance Floor

Written by Jason Scott. Posted in Daily Daft

#1 The Geek in his Moment Dance.

Anyone who has seen Napoleon Dynamite knows how a geek can truly shine on the dance floor. This is easier said than done of course, since most of us don’t have Napoleon’s natural artistic talent.  Sometimes however, pulling off a geek dance is all about originality and image.

Some of you may remember Seth Green as the evil kid brother of the “dying to be cool” geek played by Patrick Dempsey in the film “Can’t buy Me Love.” During the movie, Patrick convinces the most popular girl in school (a cheer leader of course) to date him by bribing her with the $3000 he had saved up for a telescope so that she could buy a new dress. (the dress was a replacement for one she “borrowed” from her mother’s closet without permission and ruined accidentally).

During Patrick’s journey from geekdom to coolness, he attempts to learn to dance by watching Dick Clark’s show “American Band Stand.” Unfortunately for him, his little brother (Played by Seth Green) turned the station to the show “The African Cultural Hour,” where two exchange students from Lower Swahili,Charles Kibangi and Sandy Ubuki, were performing a dance known as “The Swahili African AntEater Ritual”  Patrick learned the dance, step for step and when it was time, he let it loose on the dance floor.

Now you would expect that when this pseudo cool geek unleashed these crazy moves on the dance floor, he would be laughed at and ridiculed by high school gawkers.   However, Patrick pulls it off due to his pure confidence (and support of his latest girlfriend) and next thing you know, its the cool new thing.

The African Anteater ritual may be something Hollywood made up, but we think its time this dance made a comeback to bars and clubs in everyone’s neighborhood.

Quote on the Dance floor: “He must be in Special Ed”

You can check check out Patrick Dempsey’s moves here: African Anteater Dance

#2 Interpretive Dance

Interpretive dance seeks to express the way you feel about things like; human conditions, situations, or your deepest fantasies, and then translates them into movements of a dramatic expression. It is traditionally used to communicate major characteristics through the exploration of a character’s origins, cultural influences, rhythms, movements, emotional manifestations, and intonations, as well as the stories inherent in the dances themselves.

However, the interpretive dance of a drunk on a dance floor is another story entirely. Here, the the intoxication of the alcohol acts as a catalyst to the deep rooted feelings engendered by the song or music leaving the dancer to express themselves though their movements in ways no other human being can possibly understand. To make matters worse, some people feel that a literal translation is required and attempt to create their own music video on the dance floor, which is really hard to pull off.  Every once in a while though, someone gets it right.
An example of it being done right can be seen here: Interpretive Dance for the Deaf

#3 The Out of Date Dance.

Every now and then a new “Fad Dance” comes along that inspires a whole bunch of people act like together like idiots on the dance floor. An example would be “The Macarena” the greatest one hit wonder of all time, later renamed “The Michelinas” by Corporate America.

If we travel back to the early 60s, we will find a dance called “The Twist” It inspired dances such as the Jerk, the Pony, the Watusi, the Mashed Potato, the Monkey and the Funky Chicken, although none were as popular as the twist.

The rules regarding the out of date dance are simply:

  1. The longer the dance has been out of style, the safer it is to bring back with a touch of your own individuality.
  2. Everything from the 70s is an exception and to be laughed at, unless the person is trying to be funny, then they should probably be ignored.
  3. Dance moves from an Era are not the same as Fad Dances from an era and as such are easier to pull off.
  4. The “Out of” Date dance has an ironic function of inflicting “can’t find a” date status on dancers.

#4 The Signature dance.

The signature dance is especially hard to pull off and is usually used as a form of derisive mimicry. For example the Elaine Dance from the show Seinfeld is hard to pull off. John Travolta has 2 signature moves that no other being on earth can pull off, and Micheal Jackson’s moonwalk really pisses other dancers off when you back into them, so its pretty much stuck on the stage.

Regardless of the level of cool, the signature dance is not something that should ever be done poorly. If you are Mimicing Elaine from Seinfeld, you need to dance like an idiot with style. If you are Mimicing John Travolta, you’re going to need more than a $5 Dollar shake.

To properly pull of a signature dance, you have to spend countless hours practicing the moves over and over in your parents basement. Basically when someone does a retro signature dance people say “ I remember that” and when someone does a brand new signature dance people say “That guy still lives with his mom”  i.e. the signature dance should be from the past.

#5 The Mating Dance.

Bower Bird Nest

Bower Bird Nest

This is usually where the Peacock shows his feathers.

Animal courtships may involve complex dances, songs, or displays of beauty and might. The Bower Bird for example, builds a nice house hoping a female will just stop by and move in.  The females then come by and check out how he decorates the place, and watch on as he puts his sweaty feathers to use.

Usually, if he has artistic talent, the male bower bird with find a bunch of females all vieing for his attention. However, like most courtship rituals, if the female isn’t impressed, you’ve gotta start over.

Now were not suggesting that a human male or female should copy the mating dance of different species and apply them on the dance floor.  That would be silly. We’re just saying that you will probably have to go through a whole bunch of different moves and failures before you successfully invent the perfect human mating dance.  One tip we can give you is that a successful mating dance has a combination of rhythm, style and hypnotism with a strong dose of confident persistence. If at first you don’t succeed, keep smiling like the dude in the video below.  Who knows? With the right smile you might just get lucky.

We saved The happy face mating dance for last because its by far the toughest one to pull off.

Here is the link of a true master at work: Happy Face Mating Dance

We hope you can pick up a few pointers.

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Jason Scott

"They will Rue the Day They Gave Me Free Reign Over this Blog" Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! (insert evil into laughter)

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